Asparagus Pee & Your Libido

Since it’s asparagus season in my part of the world, I thought you’d like to know that various studies conducted in France, China and Israel have determined that “asparagus pee” is a universal human characteristic. That’s pretty amazing, don’t you think?

Asparagus contains a unique sulfur-containing amino acid which releases smelly stuff when it’s broken down, digested and filtered through the kidneys.

You may think you never get asparagus pee, but you do. However, only 22% of the population has the autosomal gene required to smell asparagus pee. Do you have it? I’m proud to say that I definitely do.

But that’s not even the most amazing thing about asparagus, nor is it the actual point of this post. What’s really cool about asparagus is that it’s high in protein, potassium, folic acid, dietary fibre and vitamins A, C, K and  — E. Asparagus has such high concentrations of Vitamin E that they say eating it for three days in a row will push your libido into overdrive. Bridegrooms in the 19th century were fed asparagus for 3 days before their wedding night for that very reason!

Smelly pee not withstanding, asparagus is really one of the sexiest things you can eat. It’s a scientifically-proven aphrodisiac and will increase sperm count.

Not only that, but they say asparagus has a histamine that increases orgasms!

Wah-hoo! Go get some fresh asparagus now. The season is pretty damn short.  Too short. (Warning: You may want to keep this vegetable away from your teenagers.)

Other foods that have some scientific basis for being aphrodisiacs include:

  • Nuts – especially almonds as they’re also high in Vitamin E
  • Avocado – because the potassium helps regulate female thyroid glands which helps enhance female libido levels
  • Honey – because it’s a great source of boron, a trace mineral that helps the body use and metabolise estrogen and enhances testosterone levels in the blood promoting a stronger sex drive and orgasms in both men and women
  • Bananas – because of the bromelain which improves male libido and the potassium and riboflavin which are necessary to  produce sex hormones
  • Celery – because it contains androsterone, an odorless hormone released through male perspiration that turns  women on
  • Figs – because their amino acids not only increase libido, but also enhance endurance. In ancient Greece, the fig harvest was celebrated with a “frenzied copulation ritual”
  • Fatty Fish and Eggs – because they contain high levels of B vitamins which help fight stress and balance hormone levels, both of which are crucial to a healthy libido
  • Anything with lots of zinc – like oysters, caviar, brown rice, pumpkin seeds, cheese, turkey because zinc raises testosterone levels
  • Anything that increases blood flow – like spices, ginger, garlic. Conversely, anything that decreases blood flow – like smoking, saturated fats, simple carbohydrates – will lower the libido

Uh oh. I think I actually eat most of this stuff on a regular basis.

Anyhow, if nothing’s happening even after you have eaten all that, you might have to resort to this Aphrodisiac Potion. Throw the following into a blender: one cup of pineapple chunks, ½ teaspoon of nutmeg, 1 teaspoon of vanilla, 3 cups of white wine (dry). Blend it all up and start drinking – not straight from the blender – you can pour it into a nice glass first. And, make sure a partner is close by and ready to roll.

So, aside from all this scientifically proven stuff and common sense stuff like regular exercise and general overall health; and aside from the other more obvious stuff like physical stimulation and/or pornography, what libido-enhancing tricks, tips or products do YOU know of that you might like to share with the class?

29 responses to “Asparagus Pee & Your Libido

  1. Bah… I don’t think it’s the foods that increase the libido. I think it’s the *way* you eat them… 🙂

    Heck, I ate some fall-off-off-the-bone, melt-in-your-mouth ribs yesterday… Getting right in there, deep in all that sweet BBQ sauce, with the taste buds on fire from those deliciously succulent fatty portions… Visions of that scene from “When Harry Met Sally”, let me tell you. I’m sorry, but brown rice and pumpkin seeds? Lol…

    Libido enhancing…? Feeding each other. Slowly, in a sensual kind of way. Use your imagination. 🙂

  2. I’ve never associated food with sex. I read 9 1/2 Weeks and thought it was creepy as hell. One thing I can think of that makes me feel particularly amorous is a really nice hotel room. I guess that makes me sorta high maintenance. Dancing is another one and far less expensive.
    (I coined the word “asparapee” many years ago)

  3. Dr. Monkey – You can’t afford to wait for 3 years for asparagus!!!! Maybe there’s a roadside stand somewhere you could get your supply from until yours is ready?

    Davina – Yaaaaaa……. The idea of sucking on ribs actually makes me kind of nauseated. But that’s just me. Actually watching people eat in general makes me feel kind of nauseated. I prefer a freshly flossed and brushed mouth. But again, that’s just me. The food/feeding thing has been made into sexy movie scenes since Tom Jones (the movie, not the singer).

    Geewits – “asparapee” cute. Any coincidence that you pick hotel rooms just after getting back from vacation? Hotels rooms CAN be kind of sexy. As long as you don’t think too hard about how many other people have been in there feeling sexy. And dancing – absolutely!

    Meanie – Interesting. You’re right. Weather can be very sexy. Certain autumn days – the sun, the smells, the cool evenings when you need a way to warm up.

  4. Only 22% of the population get asparapee? Seems like everyone I know is in those 22%..

    Bridegrooms in the 19th century were fed asparagus for 3 days before their wedding night for that very reason!

    But what about the brides???

  5. Sex, sex,sex. is that all you ever think about 😉

    I used to hate asparagus but now I really like it. And yes, I can smell the pee.

  6. I’m kind of shocked about 22% asparapee statistic…thought it would be much higher. My daughter loved asaparagus when she was a baby/toddler. I would puree it and after her diaper would just reek! ugh. Seems like everyone could smell that! I wonder if fiddleheads have the same sulpher amino stuff? I don’t eat them often but I experience a similar asparapee reaction too. Maybe it’s just me…

  7. I’ve defo got the sense of smell that can smell the asparagus pee- and I’m always amazed at how quickly after eating them your wee smells bizarre.
    But what a public service blog yours really is- I’m off to buy all those foods.

  8. Fresh, clean air usually makes me little more ‘frisky’ than usual. I love being surrounded by nature, it makes my breathing easier and lowers inhibitions. 😉

  9. Jazz – Are you reading without your glasses again? Everyone GETS asparagus pee, but only 22% are able to really smell it. But I find that a pretty low statistic too considering that I don’t think I know anyone who doesn’t smell it. Also, brides aren’t supposed to enjoy sex and therefore do not need a libido, you hussy, you.

    Paul – No, it’s food I always think about, Paul. Food. If it happens to coincide with sex, well then… I’ve always loved asparagus. It’s always the first thing ripe in the garden after a long winter and it’s so delish freshly picked, lightly steamed with a little butter or lemon. I want some right now! (asparagus, I mean)

    MM – I think it’s much higher, too. I don’t know where they get these numbers. I think fiddleheads are a lot like asparagus. They taste a lot like it. I don’t remember if they give me fiddlehead pee though. It’s been a long time since I’ve had any. We used to eat them all the time in Halifax.

    MisssyM – It only takes 15 – 30 minutes from when you’ve eaten the asparagus until the pee stinks. So bizarre. Enjoy your groceries…and your evening…nudge, nudge, wink, wink

    Pauline – You don’t actually…… you know… “do it” out in nature, do you? Or do you just drag hubby out for a hike and then run home when you’re all full of …um…fresh air?

  10. @XUP-LOL! I didn’t mean that we ‘did it’ in the woods. It doesn’t lower my inhibitions THAT much! I meant more in terms of camping or cottaging with privacy. 🙂

    And that is all I’m going to say on the subject because otherwise it will be TMI! 😉

  11. I can’t believe it is just 22% either. But I feel so lucky to be in that favored genetic pool that can smell the asparapee! Woot! We eat asparagus all the time and I’ve never noticed this special enhancement. My asparagus must be broken.

    A day of hiking and a nice relaxing hot shower in a nice hotel work well for me – exercise & relaxation are good for the libido.

  12. I never imagined asparagus could be any more attractive. . .
    We have taken to backing them- brush dry spears with olive oil sprinkle with course salt and put in a 400 degree oven for 10 minutes. A sensual delight and now known to be a precursor to intimacy.

    As for an aphrodisiac, well let me say there is a reason why the makers of the little blue pill want to keep that infamous BC herb out of the hands of the Elder nation;o)

  13. Being sensitive to the asparapee aroma is what makes me avoid Italy at this time of the year.
    Personally I have found that a shift in the direction of the wind to be quite the aphrodisiac. But then again I am a nudist and drop my pants at every opportunity….

  14. Pauline – OK! Thanks for clearing that up.

    Kimberly – You actually have to eat the asparagus 3 days in a row. I’m pretty sure you’ve never done that, have you? Because man, the area around your toilets would be mighty rank after 3 days. I agree on the exercise & relaxation thing.

    Jay – That sounds more like roasted asparagus. I suppose you could do that in the toaster oven pretty well. I won’t comment on your herbal aphrodisiac. It usually just makes me hungry.

    Finola – Thanks.

    Lebowski – Oh, so that’s what’s kept you out of Tuscany this season. The Worthington-Smythes were wondering where you were. Shift of the wind, eh? So you’d pretty much go mad with desire in a tornado??

  15. Nah – I just don’t like the smell of piss that much. Hence my dislike of New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc.

  16. I definitely am in the 22%. DD definitely is not. We have, in fact, had heated discussions about asparapee, which she insists does not exist. I am now going to tell her that I am special and she is not. She must have inherited that from her dad.

  17. Wow! I thought I was on crack, because I was able to smell that after eating esparagus. At least now I know there is one less thing wrong with me. LOL!
    I knew I liked esparagus, Oisters, and honey for a reason. I may have to get more of those things.
    I had also heard that olives were an afrodesiac as well. Don’t know how true that is, but I’ll ahve to do the research.

  18. Lebowski – Ok. No New Zealand. No Italy.

    Pinklea – Ha ha. It’s good to hear of someone who doesn’t smell it. That statistic was starting to seem really messed up. If she doesn’t believe my blog (and who would) tell her to google “asparagus pee”

    Cedarflame – Well then. You go!!

    Jessica – Green olives make men more virile and lack olive increase women’s sex drive. That’s what “they” say anyway. Good luck with the grocery shopping!

    Susan – Not to be presumptuous or anything, but I suspect you don’t really need any of these foods. But ya, the drink sounds delish. I’m surprised no one else mentioned it.

  19. Asparagus pee – that’s great. Really I love this blog, there’s something different and unique everytime I come here for a visit. You must have the greatest conversations when you’re hanging out with your friends.

  20. Nothing gets me going more, than a Chick-Flick.

    Especially ones where women sit around and talk about their failed relationships. 😉

  21. Backing / baking/roasting it all works!
    As for the other, you are not a man over 55 so not the target market for the multinationals. You just munch away and I’ll do the same. It’s the Mr. I have to look out for;o)

  22. Jeez, that’s my entire diet.
    We’re on an asparagus rage around here. Make enough to last days and days, and eat it all in one sitting…..
    Need to work on that 3-days-in-a-row thing….

  23. Sean – You’d think so, wouldn’t you? I’m actually really dull and boring in real life. Ask anyone.

    Friar – Bwah-ha-ha. You should be very popular with the ladies then!

    Jay – I’m going to roast me some asparagus this very evening. It sounded like such a good idea!

    Ellie – No wonder you always look like you’re having so much fun in your photos!! I don’t know about your neck of the woods, but we can only get fresh, local asparagus for about 3 weeks here, so we gorge on it for those 3 weeks and then have a little frozen asparagus once in a while the rest of the year.

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