Since it’s asparagus season in my part of the world, I thought you’d like to know that various studies conducted in France, China and Israel have determined that “asparagus pee” is a universal human characteristic. That’s pretty amazing, don’t you think?
Asparagus contains a unique sulfur-containing amino acid which releases smelly stuff when it’s broken down, digested and filtered through the kidneys.
You may think you never get asparagus pee, but you do. However, only 22% of the population has the autosomal gene required to smell asparagus pee. Do you have it? I’m proud to say that I definitely do.
But that’s not even the most amazing thing about asparagus, nor is it the actual point of this post. What’s really cool about asparagus is that it’s high in protein, potassium, folic acid, dietary fibre and vitamins A, C, K and — E. Asparagus has such high concentrations of Vitamin E that they say eating it for three days in a row will push your libido into overdrive. Bridegrooms in the 19th century were fed asparagus for 3 days before their wedding night for that very reason!
Smelly pee not withstanding, asparagus is really one of the sexiest things you can eat. It’s a scientifically-proven aphrodisiac and will increase sperm count.
Not only that, but they say asparagus has a histamine that increases orgasms!
Wah-hoo! Go get some fresh asparagus now. The season is pretty damn short. Too short. (Warning: You may want to keep this vegetable away from your teenagers.)
Other foods that have some scientific basis for being aphrodisiacs include:
- Nuts – especially almonds as they’re also high in Vitamin E
- Avocado – because the potassium helps regulate female thyroid glands which helps enhance female libido levels
- Honey – because it’s a great source of boron, a trace mineral that helps the body use and metabolise estrogen and enhances testosterone levels in the blood promoting a stronger sex drive and orgasms in both men and women
- Bananas – because of the bromelain which improves male libido and the potassium and riboflavin which are necessary to produce sex hormones
- Celery – because it contains androsterone, an odorless hormone released through male perspiration that turns women on
- Figs – because their amino acids not only increase libido, but also enhance endurance. In ancient Greece, the fig harvest was celebrated with a “frenzied copulation ritual”
- Fatty Fish and Eggs – because they contain high levels of B vitamins which help fight stress and balance hormone levels, both of which are crucial to a healthy libido
- Anything with lots of zinc – like oysters, caviar, brown rice, pumpkin seeds, cheese, turkey because zinc raises testosterone levels
- Anything that increases blood flow – like spices, ginger, garlic. Conversely, anything that decreases blood flow – like smoking, saturated fats, simple carbohydrates – will lower the libido
Uh oh. I think I actually eat most of this stuff on a regular basis.
Anyhow, if nothing’s happening even after you have eaten all that, you might have to resort to this Aphrodisiac Potion. Throw the following into a blender: one cup of pineapple chunks, ½ teaspoon of nutmeg, 1 teaspoon of vanilla, 3 cups of white wine (dry). Blend it all up and start drinking – not straight from the blender – you can pour it into a nice glass first. And, make sure a partner is close by and ready to roll.
So, aside from all this scientifically proven stuff and common sense stuff like regular exercise and general overall health; and aside from the other more obvious stuff like physical stimulation and/or pornography, what libido-enhancing tricks, tips or products do YOU know of that you might like to share with the class?