Canada Day 10 + 10

Posted on by XUP

CANADA

Tomorrow is Canada Day! (Yay).

Canada is a pretty cool place to live.

As Rick Mercer says:

There are almost seven billion people on this planet and we make up around 33 million of them. The odds of a random citizen on this earth being Canadian is about half of one per cent. It’s a long shot that delivers a hell of a jackpot. 

Being Canadian means we can worship whoever and however we want. Which is why when we meet a member of the worldwide church of the Raelians (who worship a holy trinity of UFOs, extraterrestrials, and tantric sex), we shrug and say each to their own. 

Being Canadian means we are each protected under the Charter of Rights and Freedoms. In Canada, Harold can marry Samantha, Carol can marry Johann and Ahmed can make an honest man out of Frank.

 But we’re not just a bunch of  laissez-faire socialist tree-huggers. We also do important stuff and creative stuff and interesting stuff.  For example, here are two lists of 10 interesting things about Canada

10 Important Things Invented by Canadians

  1. The Blackberry (sorry)
  2. Botox (really sorry)
  3. Bloody Caesars
  4. Superman
  5. The Zamboni
  6. The Zipper
  7. Pacemaker
  8. 5-pin bowling
  9. Plexiglass
  10. Velcro

 You could almost make a seedy pulp fiction story out of that list of items.

10 Amazing Facts About Canada

  1.  Canada has the longest coastline of any country in the world – 243,042 kilometers (151,019 miles)
  2.  70% of the world’s maple syrup is produced in Quebec
  3.  Canadians consume more macaroni and cheese per capita than any other country in the world (Go KD)
  4.  The sun shines non-stop for the 3 summer months in parts of the Yukon and Nunavut Territories
  5.  5,231,500 Canadian adults speak both French and English fluently
  6.  Canada has one of the lowest population densities in the world – 3.2 people per square kilometer
  7.  There are 2.5 million acres of wheat growing in Canada at this very minute (Go Toast)
  8.  The West Edmonton Mall is the largest shopping center in North America and the 5th largest in the world. (It was the world’s largest mall until 2004) It covers 570,000 square meters. There are over 800 stores, parking for over 20,000 cars and employs more than 23,000 people. (Okay, this one is kind of embarassing)
  9.  The Rideau Canal, Ottawa becomes the world’s longest skateway during winter months – 7.8 kilometers (4.8 miles)
  10. Canada has the world’s the highest tertiary education enrolment (And still I had to look up what “tertiary education enrolment” meant)
Happy Canada Day!

42 responses to “Canada Day 10 + 10”

  5. Pingback: Happy Canada Day… Interesting facts about Canada (that I found somewhere else) « The Tired Prop

  7. J – I know, botox — what were we thinking? I’m guessing we invented it for something completely different, like killing cockroaches or something and the Americans decided it would be fun to inject it into their own faces instead. That’s what I think happened. Happy Canada Day to you too

    Dave – Fireworks, BBQs, drinking, day off for all, open air concerts, parties — all pretty much the same stuff ya’ll do for the 4th of July.

    Hannah – Isn’t it? All those people in red!

    TTP – It’s an amazing photo. I wish I knew who to give credit to.

    Jazz – Probably the same person who’s eating my portion of mac & cheese. Re: botox – see my response to J

  8. This post filled me with pride! Thanks for the lists. I am seriously considering following up on your pulp fiction idea.

    Happy Canada Day!

  9. Go hot-buttered toast!!! And, you forgot insulin (Frederick Banting, Charles Best, 1921) and the retractable beer carton handle (Steve Pasjack, 1957). Oh, and poutine (Some Quebecois, sometime in the past).

    And, I’ve probably eaten XUP’s and Jazz’s share of the mac and cheese (both home-made and KD).

  10. And what other country offers hockey news YEAR ROUND? Even in the heat of the summer when we are all drinking beer on the back deck? Truly, we live in a paradise on Earth.

    (Well, except for the mosquitoes.)

  12. XUP, Quit tempting me.

    husband makes the best Macaroni and Cheese. I can eat it seven days a week. Clogged arteries and all. My other favorite is Maple Sugar Candy. I have been known to drive miles and miles out of my way on a trip to hit a store that sells it.

    Really? Honest! No “You must be Christian” thing or you are subhuman? Half my relatives are all upset because someone said that some day the majority religion would be Muslim. They don’t even know what it is really but it’s SCARY! to them. And, my poor gay cousin is shunned by more. The good old USA is not really the land of the free.

    Botox, though, they have made someone very wealthy with it. I see more woman who cannot move their upper lip than you would belive.

  15. Lynn – Excellent. I look forward to reading your botox, blackberry story.

    Alison – There are a lot of things I didn’t list. I just picked out 10 each of what I thought were not all that well-known or most interesting. And, lots of other countries have mosquitos, except their mosquitos give people malaria and/or kills them, so we still have it pretty good.

    Dr. Monkey – Goes without saying, Doc

    Savanvleck – Seems like a crazy fantasy country,doesn’t it? If it wasn’t so friggin cold so much of the time, I bet we’d be over-run with immigrants. Re: Botox– see my response to J right at the top

    LGS – Thanks Squirrel. It IS a pretty good place.

    Friar – Oh ya, there’s tons of other stuff, but I wanted only 10 and I needed room for the macaroni and cheese thing.

  18. I am not sure which impresses me the most, the Zamboni or the Velcro. I do know I love me some Canadians, well except for that whole French thing…

  19. Re: dying from mosquitoes: I have a friend who worries constantly about getting West Nile virus from mosquitoes. I haven’t been bitten yet this year – I think it was the chemo. Not that I’m recommending it as an insect repellent!

  20. Sure, leave out the part about grizzly bears. I know you have a government job, it wouldn’t happen to be the tourism bureau, would it? Uh huh. Well, we’ve invented some cool stuff here, too.

    1. George Foreman Grill
    2. George Foreman Grill with bun warmer
    3. The Clapper
    4. Insurance fraud
    5. I can’t believe it’s not butter
    6. Girls gone wild
    7. Mtv
    8. Fuzzy dice
    9. Rocky
    10. Puppy calendars

    I don’t want to get into a pissing contest, but I’ll put my list against yours any day. Take that, Canada.

  22. CP – Thanks. We really don’t need to do anything else, ever now that we’ve come up with the crackberry, right?

    Nat – I’m amazed at how popular that stuff still is. I make my own and the kid demands some at least once a week. Blech – pasta with cheese sauce ..there are so many nicer things to do with pasta. Even your spaghetti with cheddar grated on top sounds so much better.

    Cedar – You don’t even know the half of it. My child was actually best friends with the kid whose grandfather “invented” velcro. (actually he bought the invention from a Swiss guy and started making it in Canada…so really we can only take credit for seeing value in something no one else could and capitalizing on it big time)

    Julia – My method is to stay far away from places where there might be mosquitos — camping, woods, the country, cottages, fields. It’s foolproof. I haven’t had a mosquito bite in years.

    Mayopie – Okay you win just on the I Cant Believe it’s Not Butter alone. We had the girls gone wild idea before you guys, but it didn’t pan out because the wet parka contests just didn’t get the ratings. If only we’d thought of girls gone wild with bun warmers…

    Geewits – Gee Whiz! That’s very nice of you. And on Saturday, I’ll wear something red white and blue

  23. Happy Happy Canada Day! Glad to have you all up there.

    I read the link for “tertiary education enrolment” but my eyes glazed over before I learned what it meant. Can’t you put the poutine and double-double in its place? I’d have to google those too, but I might could stay awake for their definitions!

    Botox schmotox! I don’t know anybody who uses botox except race car driver’s wives and celebrities. Since when are they the entire population?

    P.S. Now that I think about it, there might be a few users in a Gated Community in South Charlotte. I’ll have to start watching upper lips.

  27. I, personally, am a HUGE fan of my Blackberry so thank you, Canada!! (And I can still celebrate this even though I’m not actually Canadian thought, right?) (And for the record I proudly pretend I am TOTALLY CANADIAN every time I visit here.)

  29. I love how we Canadians take pride in what we invented – did someone forget the telephone? ( It was really invented by a guy named -Antonio Meucci – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antonio_Meucci.
    And everyone knows that VELCRO wasn’t invented by a Canadian but in fact was invented by a Swiss engineer. Others liek myself believe that it was brought to us via a technological transfer performed by T’pol from the planet VULCAN – in the “Star Trek – Enterprise” episode called – “Carbon Creek”

  30. P.S. just for you and all my Canadian friends I found your National Athem on Youtube and blared it through my speakers at work and sang along.

    P.S.S. thanks to Velco my youngest nephew did not learn to actually tie shoe laces until he was 10.

  31. Sounds like a nice place 🙂
    Botox was originally intended to treat eye muscle disorders, like spasms and facial tics. Learn something new everyday huh?

  32. Oops, forgot to leave my name on that last post. I thought it signed me in automatically. Learned TWO new things today!

  33. Go Canada! I noticed early on in my blogging adventure that quite a high proportion of my visitors were from Canada (maybe Canadians are just weird). Someone at the pub told us that Canadians are rather like Australians – maybe that is why.

  34. Lola – Tertiary education enrollment — I think it means lots of us go to school or something. Is that what you got from the definition?

    Maven -Yup, that was one thing I never knew about Canada. It does sort of bring a tear to your eye, doesn’t it?

    Meanie – I wish I could have posted the whole thing, but that would have made for a really, really long post, so I just clipped my favourite parts. (had to lost the chainsaw/plastic bag thing)

    Eliza – I guess “we” aka RIM was thinking “ka-ching. ka-ching”

    Lesley – I always think of you as Canadian, until I see your photo and then I realize you’re way to glamorous to be Canadian.

    Missy – Thanks! Come on up any time.

    Lebowski – Actually if you see my comment in the last section to Cedar, you’ll notice that I did give credit to that anonymous Swiss who really invented Velcro. Of course he didn’t call it Velcro. He just called it, “Scheiss, now I totally messed up – all this stuff is sticking together. Help me someone.” And a Canadian came along and said, “Sure, I’ll help you.” And DING a lightbulb went on right above his head and the Swiss guy gave the Canadian a few bucks for helping him take this horrible mistake off his hands. The rest is history. (And,no I didn’t forget about the telephone – I reckoned everyone already knew about that one)

    Canada – You know the words to our anthem? Could you tell us what they are because they keep changing them and nobody here really knows them anymore. Thanks

    Charlene – Ah ha – I was pretty sure we didn’t invent Botox to freeze the wrinkles in vain old people’s faces.

    Robin – Canadians are just really open to all sorts of new and wonderful and interesting stuff. Really open. Once upon a time Canada and the US were compared to New Zealand and Australia, with Canada being more like New Zealand and the US being more like the bold brash wild and crazy Aussies. Lately though something very odd has been happening in the US and they’ve become paranoid, holy roller kooks and it wouldn’t be nice or accurate to compare them to Aussies anymore (And by that last statement I’m only talking about the political climate as a whole, not about all the many, many wonderful Americans that live there). But Canada never has and never will have the outrageous zest the Americans used to have and the Aussies still have.

  35. Pingback: July in Oregon is Craft Beer Month

  36. Happy Canada Day to all y’all in the Great White North. Wait, is that what we call Canada? Anyway. I’ll have a Canadian beer in your honor today. Molson? Or Mooshead?

  39. Ellie – We have many, many fabulous beers for you to choose from. Molson ain’t one of them. Moosehead will do if that’s your only other option. Thanks. We appreciate your willingness to drink on our behalf.

    Em – Merci! You too.

    Mary – Again, we didn’t mean for ya’ll to shoot botox into your heads to try to look young. It was invented as a therapy for facial tics. I’m not apologizing for the blackberry though — someone would have come up with it anyway, why not us?