Da Kink

In an effort to lighten things up a little around here, I think it’s important that we spend a bit of time talking about fetishes.

 Not this kind.

 But this kind.

“Fetishes” –  as in the quirky (sometimes really weird) particular sexual focus that some people have. Or maybe everyone has a fetish of some sort?

Psychologists say most fetishes are harmless as long as they’re not impairing your function in every day life and/or hurting anyone (unless someone wants to be hurt, of course).

In order for something to be a fetish it has to stick with your for at least six months —  although fetishes can disappear any time after that and still have been a legitimate fetish.

Every Sunday night, my high-school boyfriend’s parents went out for the evening so we’d get the house to ourselves. We’d order a pizza and some cokes and then watch TV until we were finished eating. Then we’d make out until his parents got home.

For most of my teen years and into my early 20s , I couldn’t really get in the mood unless I’d had pizza and coke first. Conversely, whenever I had pizza and coke ….watch out!

Eventually that wore off. Or maybe it’s because I stopped drinking coke?

Psychologists also say that fetishes develop as the result of some sort of strong emotional conditioning or imprinting experience – usually at a young age. I guess they’re right.

See if you can figure out how some of these fetishes might have developed.

Woolies –  Sort of a variation on Furries,  I reckon. Woolies have to dress head to toe in wool to get in the mood. (I wonder if Knitnut can shed any further light on this one?)

Necrophilia –  Of course that’s a hot one right now with the whole Twilight craze. Every teenage girl and sad lonely middle-aged woman wants to do the nasty with the undead.

Infantilism – And ya, they actually have to soil their diapers to really enjoy it. Sexy, eh?

Omorashi  – A Japanese fetish subculture (Ah, those wacky Japanese). It has something to do with losing bladder control or something…I don’t know…geeze…look it up.

Somewhere along the line I think I developed a bit of a hand fetish. I really notice hands. A good-looking hand can be very erotic. Of course, I suppose good-looking/sexy is as subjective when it comes to hands as it is for everything else. I just know one when I see one.

The word “fetish” came from the French fétiche, which in turn came from the Portuguese feitiço meaning “charm”. People’s psyches can turn anything into a fetish. These are the top 10 fetishes according to people who keep track of things like this.

  1. Feet
  2. High-heels and knee-high boots
  3. Piercing
  4. Silk, satin, leather or latex
  5. Hands
  6. Hair
  7. Role playing: doctor, nurse etc.
  8. Flat, tight tummies
  9. Balloons
  10. Fingernail art

 Ummm…balloons???

Oh well. So……? What’s your fetish? Maybe you’ve had one that disappeared? Maybe you’ve recently developed a new one? Enquiring minds want to know!

What the Hell is Homeopathy?

As we discovered yesterday, I’m pretty open to the idea of alternative or complementary healing techniques and medicines. In fact, I got my Chartered Herbalist designation years ago because I’ve always had a lot of faith in the healing power of herbs and plants and foods. I grew up with Maria Treben’s Gesundheit aus der Apotheke Gottes. The book, as well as old Maria, are both more than a little creepy, but the remedies always worked.

Afterall, Hippocriates himself said, “Let your food be your medicine, and your medicine be your food.”

Most of the drugs we use today started life as herbal remedies. Pharmaceuticals just extracted what they believed to be the essentials of herbs and reproduced or reprocessed them in the lab. Opium, aspirin, digitalis, and quinine, for instance are all plant-based. According to the World Health Organization, approximately 80% of the world’s population primarily uses herbal medicine over any other type of remedy for their health care.

So, in summary, I believe herbal medicine, when produced, prescribed and used responsibly, properly and ethically is a very valid alternative or complement to pharmaceuticals.

What I can’t wrap my head around, however, is homeopathy. What the hell is this?

There are thousands of homeopaths all over the world that spend big money and many years in school to get their designation. The homeopathic drug market is a multi-billion dollar industry.

In the US, homeopathic remedies are recognized and regulated by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) and are manufactured by established pharmaceutical companies.

In the UK, homeopathy is provided and funded under the National Health Service (NHS).

In Canada, Health Canada’s new Natural Health Products Regulations uses “evidence submitted by applicants to critically assess the safety, efficacy and quality of all natural health products”  including homeopathic remedies. I don’t know what kind of “evidence” these companies are producing about their “efficacy”, but they seem to be passing muster. How?

Homeopathy was invented, out of the clear blue sky, 200 years ago by a German doctor named Samuel Hahnemann. He wasn’t down with the medicine of the day which involved stuff like bloodletting, leeches and purging. He reckoned that instead of “balancing the body’s system by draining the bad stuff out of it, he would do the opposite and put more of the bad stuff in, but in tiny amounts.  

Now you’re saying, “Oh ya, like vaccinations.”

But no, vaccinations are preventative, given to healthy people to help their immune systems build defenses. Homeopathy is, theoretically, just giving sick people you more of the crap they already have. Hahnemann was obviously on crack.

Aside from everything else, with a vaccination you’re getting a good shot of the virus. But homeopathic remedies take whatever “poison” and dilute the crap out of it.

On any homeopathic remedy and you’ll find a number like 6, 12, 30 or 200 and a letter, usually X or C (so you’ll see 6X or 200C, or some other combination). The number tells you how many times the original ingredient was diluted and the letter tells you whether each successive dilution was either 10-fold (X) or 100-fold (C).

So a 6X product will star with one part of the “poison” mixed with nine parts water. Then one part of that is mixed with nine more parts of water. Then one part of that is mixed with nine parts water again. And so on and so on until that’s been done six times and the original “poison” is one part to one million parts of water. At which point there is nothing left of the original “poison”, is there?

As rabble.ca puts it,

 The idea is that the effect of substance that has been diluted out is retained somehow and that this non-existent but “remembered” molecule of substance “treats” the patient. The central belief of homeopathy is that like cures like; so an insomniac might be “cured” with a remembered molecule of coffee.

I’ve tried homeopathic remedies a few times in various forms and they’ve never done anything except lighten my wallet. There has never been any scientific proof that any homeopathic remedies work – nor even any convincing anecdotal evidence. So, I don’t get why this stuff is being endorsed and/or funded by governments.

Do you? Have you ever had success with homeopathics?

For your entertainment — in a perfect storm of blog post synchronicity — here’s a video of a guy explaining homeopathy by drinking his own pee. (Or does he?)

Life of Pee

The word “urine” wasn’t invented until the 14th century. Before that, people just called it “piss” because that’s what it sounded like coming out.

But people had been trying ways to use this mysterious fluid long before the 14th century.

Until the efficient Germans invented soap, people used fermented pee (called lant) to clean grease stains out of their clothes and wash their floors. Lant was also used to freshen breath, flavour ale and glaze hard pastries.

Aztec doctors used pee to disinfect wounds and prescribed it as a drink to relieve stomach and intestinal problems.

In India,  ancient ayurvedic medicine uses pee (or shivambu) therapy for all sort of ailments from cancer, diabetes, arthritis and heart diseases to herpes and psoriasis.

The Chinese also used boys’ urine as a remedy when the usual herbal medicines were scarce.

Urine has been used in the manufacture of gunpowder since it’s high in nitrogen and saltpeter. Gunpowder is 75% saltpeter finely ground, 15% charcoal and 10% sulfur (In case you want to make some now).

Pee’s high nitrogen content, along with its significant quantities of dissolved phosphates and potassium, also makes it an excellent fertilizer for your garden when diluted 8:1 with water. This solution can be poured directly onto the soil.

In Scotland, urine is used to prepare textiles (especially wools/tweeds) for dyeing and stretching.

Some people drink their own morning urine. They believe it boosts their immune system by reintroducing their own waste back into their systems. It apparently works much like immunization and seems to last for decades.

Urine contains zinc, vitamins B12, B6, riboflavin, pantothenic acid, inositol, folic acid, biotin, ascorbic acid, potassium, iron, calcium, iodine, manganese, magnesium, nitrogen, lysine, arginine, allantoin, bicarbonate, creatinine, cystine, dopamine, epinephrine, glucose, glutamic acid, glycine, lysine, methionine, orinthine, phenylalanine, phosphorus, tryptophan, tyrosine and water. It can sustain life for several days in times of deprivation.

Urine makes an excellent bleaching agent for fabrics and teeth, and is much more natural that whatever you’re using now.

Urine is also good for your skin. It helps soften skin and it’s therapeutic for rashes, eczema, fungus, poisonous bites and stings and athlete’s foot. And your tired, dry feet will be relieved with a good daily soak in a tub of urine. (Forget the peroxide, Geewits!)

But wait! That’s not all!!

Last year, science guys in Ohio figured out a way to use urine to power a fuel-cell that could run a car – getting up to 90 miles to the gallon!

A molecule of urea is composed of four hydrogen atoms and two nitrogen atoms. Applying an electric current using a special nickel electrode causes those hydrogen atoms to pop right off. The trick is that it requires about 97 percent less electricity to release the hydrogen from the urea molecules than from a water molecule–specifically 0.037 volt for urine versus 1.23 volts for water. Pee Power  

Science guys in Singapore have developed a small cell battery that is fueled by pee useful for powering disposable medical test kits – like kits used by diabetics.

Now, science guys at the UK’s Bristol Robotics Lab are using bacteria from a variety of compostable waste mixed with urine to create waste material rife with hydrogen ions, carbon dioxide, and electrons. The electrons are turned into electricity or are electricity or something.

The Bristol science guys are building (as we speak) a prototype urinal that will generate power. They’re thinking it could be used at music festivals, sporting and other outdoor events. The urine power would be used to provide all the electricity for the event!

I think this is pretty exciting. Livestock farms, for instance,  could easily generate their own and most of their neighbour’s electricity from their animals’ urnine. One cow can provide enough energy to supply hot water for 19 houses!

Don’t you feel silly now for flushing your liquid gold away all these years when you could be using it in so many beneficial and cost-saving ways? I know I do!

ZZzzzZZZzzzzZZZZzzzzz

When was the last time you woke up naturally in the morning, just because you’d had enough sleep? Not because the cat jumped on your face or because the kids needed breakfast or because your partner was awake rummaging around for clean underwear? Not because the phone rang or a roadwork crew started jackhammering at 7:00 am or because you had to pee and just couldn’t ignore it anymore? And not because the alarm woke you?

And whose bright idea was it to come up with a clock that suddenly starts clanging, ringing or playing music as a sensible method of waking people up? I totally get why they call it an “alarm” clock – especially when you accidentally turn up the volume on your clock-radio while dusting it.

It can’t be healthy to get jarred out of a sound sleep day after day after day, no matter what the method, can it? And yet, I reckon it’s almost impossible for any grown-up to sleep until they’ve actually had just enough sleep. You’d need a completely soundproof, lightproof room without anyone or anything wandering in to wake you up.

In fact, they say that if you’re not in complete darkness and complete silence you’re not even sleeping as deeply as you should in the first place.

The room you sleep in is vital to getting rest. Make sure it is dark, clean and has good ventilation. Try to keep the air fresh and the room temperature between 60 and 65 degrees for the best sleeping conditions.

Do you know that in totally scientific experiments, lab rats that were denied a chance to rest properly died within 2 to 3 weeks?

And even if you don’t die right away, here are some other things that happen to you when you don’t sleep enough or don’t sleep properly:

  • Poor attention and motivation span.
  • Memory lapses
  • Decreased initiative, judgement,decision-making and problem-solving ability
  • Increased irritability.
  • Impaired ability to think
  • Decreased ability to handle stress
  • Negative impacts on the immune system
  • Depression
  • Heart disease
  • Hypertension
  • Slower reaction times
  • Dramatic weight gain (Because the amount and quality of the sleep we get affects our hormone levels)

Oh, and tiredness. Adults are always tired.

All this time we’ve been envious of all the energy kids have thinking it was because they were young and we were old. And really it was just because the little bastards get 14 hours of uninterrupted sleep every night.

All of which also explains why hating bedtime and relishing bedtime is the one thing that most clearly sets most of us apart from children.