Qs & As: The News

Sometimes I yell at the people interviewed on the TeeVee nooze.  Because they ask the darndest questions. They’re so puzzled and confused about whatever tragic, catastrophic disaster they’re being interviewed about. They need answers.

I don’t mind offering some.

 For instance, last night there was the lady in Toronto who couldn’t understand how the SPCA could, without her knowledge and approval, take her 16-year-old husky dog away and euthanized it. She was working real hard to squeeze out some tears for her beloved “Rocky” because he’d meant a lot to her over the years.

 Of course, I don’t know the entire story and maybe the SPCA was a bit overzealous, but the neighbour who called the SPCA and the SPCA itself say the dog had been left tied up in the blazing sun in the backyard without water and had passed out. Aside from dehydration, Rocky also had advanced dental disease and a bunch of other problems and the SPCA felt he needed to be put out of his misery.

So, I said to Rocky’s owner: “Really? You’re going to complain on television that they hauled your half-dead dog out of your sweltering backyard where you’d left him to die of thirst? Bitch?”

Then I was treated to some dramatic footage of the flooded cottages on Lake Winnipeg and the cottage owners demanding compensation from the government. I had to agree with those poor cottage owners. I know if I’d bought a cottage on FLOOD PLAIN next to a big lake, I’d want someone to pay me to make up for that mistake, too. Except that probably I wouldn’t buy property on a FLOOD PLAIN because I would suspect that I might be in for some FLOODING somewhere down the road.

And speaking of the clueless… The people in Kanata who were interviewed about the recent bear sightings in the suburb really made me laugh. “Where are these bears coming from?” they asked angrily. “Why isn’t anyone doing anything about it?”

 I replied, “You’re in a relatively new suburb, 14 miles outside the city and you’re surrounded by wilderness. Where do you think the bears are coming from? Maybe the bears are asking — “where all the people are coming from?”

 Damn those wild animals anyway. Can’t they see we need to build more McMansions and big box stores? Why can’t they just pack their bags and move away when they see the developers coming? Sheesh.

Finally, I was agog at the story about the church in Gloucester who gave $11,000 to the local Pioneer Gas station and told them to give away free gas until it ran out.

“This is real charity,” the people exclaimed. “Why can’t more people do stuff like this?”

 “That IS mighty kris-chun of them yup, yup” said I. “Because, I reckon, in these tough times, the one thing the poor really, really need is free fuel for their SUVs.”

CBC had some good footage of people idling their vehicles in lines while they waited for their free gas. They all looked positively gleeful.