Da Kink

In an effort to lighten things up a little around here, I think it’s important that we spend a bit of time talking about fetishes.

 Not this kind.

 But this kind.

“Fetishes” –  as in the quirky (sometimes really weird) particular sexual focus that some people have. Or maybe everyone has a fetish of some sort?

Psychologists say most fetishes are harmless as long as they’re not impairing your function in every day life and/or hurting anyone (unless someone wants to be hurt, of course).

In order for something to be a fetish it has to stick with your for at least six months —  although fetishes can disappear any time after that and still have been a legitimate fetish.

Every Sunday night, my high-school boyfriend’s parents went out for the evening so we’d get the house to ourselves. We’d order a pizza and some cokes and then watch TV until we were finished eating. Then we’d make out until his parents got home.

For most of my teen years and into my early 20s , I couldn’t really get in the mood unless I’d had pizza and coke first. Conversely, whenever I had pizza and coke ….watch out!

Eventually that wore off. Or maybe it’s because I stopped drinking coke?

Psychologists also say that fetishes develop as the result of some sort of strong emotional conditioning or imprinting experience – usually at a young age. I guess they’re right.

See if you can figure out how some of these fetishes might have developed.

Woolies –  Sort of a variation on Furries,  I reckon. Woolies have to dress head to toe in wool to get in the mood. (I wonder if Knitnut can shed any further light on this one?)

Necrophilia –  Of course that’s a hot one right now with the whole Twilight craze. Every teenage girl and sad lonely middle-aged woman wants to do the nasty with the undead.

Infantilism – And ya, they actually have to soil their diapers to really enjoy it. Sexy, eh?

Omorashi  – A Japanese fetish subculture (Ah, those wacky Japanese). It has something to do with losing bladder control or something…I don’t know…geeze…look it up.

Somewhere along the line I think I developed a bit of a hand fetish. I really notice hands. A good-looking hand can be very erotic. Of course, I suppose good-looking/sexy is as subjective when it comes to hands as it is for everything else. I just know one when I see one.

The word “fetish” came from the French fétiche, which in turn came from the Portuguese feitiço meaning “charm”. People’s psyches can turn anything into a fetish. These are the top 10 fetishes according to people who keep track of things like this.

  1. Feet
  2. High-heels and knee-high boots
  3. Piercing
  4. Silk, satin, leather or latex
  5. Hands
  6. Hair
  7. Role playing: doctor, nurse etc.
  8. Flat, tight tummies
  9. Balloons
  10. Fingernail art

 Ummm…balloons???

Oh well. So……? What’s your fetish? Maybe you’ve had one that disappeared? Maybe you’ve recently developed a new one? Enquiring minds want to know!

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38 responses to “Da Kink

  1. I spent some time thinking about this, the whole time thinking, nope, nope nope. Then I remembered a spell in the early eighties where I always wanted to get in a hot tub first. We’d crash strange apartment complexes and get in the hot tub. I kept a bathing suit in my car. I don’t know if it was a whole 6 months or not, though.

  2. Okay…

    I have a neck fetish. There’s just something about the arch of a man’s neck; the one that supports his head; er… the head at the top of his body, lol. Talk about digging a hole… geez.

    I love to run my fingers lightly up and down the back of a man’s neck, gently fondling his wisps of hair; if he has any.

  3. PS. Just to clarify… I don’t mind men with little or no hair, either; bald men are quite attractive. For the purpose of this post and this fetish though, it’s the nape of the neck that I’m talkin’ bout 🙂

  4. I can’t think of anything really fetish like in my life. However, I dated a guy for a short time that had a real foot fetish. Honestly, it was a little creepy and was definitely why I just couldn’t continue the relationship, even though he was a nice guy otherwise. Though, he did have great taste in shoes. 🙂

  5. I got nothing. What some term as “Vanilla sex” is just fine for me.
    I do have and carry 2 of the first type of fetish however.

  6. I wouldn’t go so far as to call it a fetish, but I have a thing about butts. Forget soulful eyes and pretty hands, a lovely tight male butt where the sides sort of curve in… oh my….

  7. Nice try, asking us!But I ain’t touching this one with a ten-foot pole!

    Regardless if I had a fetish or not, there are some aspects of my personal life I will NOT openly share on the internet!

  8. I can’t have a fetish about my lovemaking.
    The act itself takes far too much concentration to be thinking about anything else.
    A fetish would likely make me lose count somewhere along the way and then I’d have to start all over again.

  9. My understanding is that someone with a ‘fetish’ is only capable of achieving sexual satisfaction in the presence of that thing.

    Of course, the term is used far more indiscriminately in ordinary conversation.

  10. I’m not sure I have/had one… But now I know I have to stop eating my nails and invite you for Pizza and Coke.

    Gotcha!

    Have a good day my friend!

  11. Someone told me about Omorashi recently: a crucial aspect of it is that it always involves a woman of position and dignity losing bladder-control in a highly embarassing situation. There has to be a breach of decorum; a loss of face.

    I think this kind of Pavlovian conditioning does happen in the normal development of sexuality and that if some abnormal element happens to be a focal-point during formative sexual experience, yeah it can stick as a necessary element, but I think that adults should ‘put away childish things’ if they can – it’s the fashion to say ‘anything goes’, but I think most people do find them creepy and off-putting. It seems to reduce the partner to a pair of breasts/pair of feet/wooly swaddle/someone to dominate or to submit to.

    I dunno. Me, I would find that sort of thing totally off-putting.

  12. There was a guy who could only get off with a paper bag over his head with a bird inside – how the hell did THAT fetish get started!?

    The woolies seems to want to have their faces covered so my best guess would be that some people who don’t like their partner to see their sex-face (shame issue, fairly common) have pulled a jumper up over their face during a formative encounter.

  13. My theory is: pick the weirdest, most twisted behaviour you dare imagine in the deepest, darkest recesses of your mind.

    And it will be nothing new.

    People not only will have done this activity on camera, for money.

    But there will be chatrooms, Yahoo groups, workshops and blogs devoted solely to this subject.

  14. Okay – just opened this up while at my NEW job. Gah! Photos and all – GAH! But then I couldn’t look away without reading (of course). I don’t have a fetish and I’m way to tired to try and develop one.

  15. Geewits – Ha ha. That sounds like fun. Once after a party, we all went pool hopping. That was the only time I ever did any crashing in other people’s water.

    Davina – I know a lot of women who like the bald look. I’d much rather a guy has some hair, personally. And the neck never did a thing for me. I’m not sure I ever actually noticed a guy’s neck. Hmmm

    LGS – Aw come on! Squirrels are full of quirky kinks!

    Kimberly – A foot fetish doesn’t seem so bad – especially if he buys you lots of shoes. Do you still have his number by any chance? Ha ha

    Lebowsi – The first type?? You mean the woolie suits?? Har har

    Jazz – That sounds like a fetish to me. Too much stinky stuff going on in that area for me to equate it with sexy.

    Friar – Was that reference to a 10-foot pole some sort of veiled hint?

    Dave1949 – You know…starting all over again is considered de rigeur in some circles

    Milan – I don’t know if that’s true. I think the fetish is definitely very important to achieving sexual satisfaction, but maybe not absolutely imperative. Most people are able to achieve sexual satifaction in more than one way, despite what their clear preference might be. Though I suppose there are some extreme cases.

    Mr G – Ha ha. Seems like a long way to go for pizza and coke …which I couldn’t even bear to drink anymore. And as to your other comment — if they find a partner who enjoys it as much as they do, where’s the harm?

    Pauline – No I haven’t seen it. One of my fetishes is not to have cable TV. Or maybe that’s just a quirk…or a sign of cheapskatedness??

    G – Stop obfuscating the issue with theory. The question was: “what’s your fetish”!!!

    Friar – The internet is an amazing cesspool of information

    Davina – Exactly!

    Julie – Maybe when the kids are grown and out of the house?

  16. I have seen it defined in several ways, but I am pretty sure Dan Savage endorsed the ‘mandatory’ definition a few years ago. An example of such a definition is: “A sexual fixation on a concept, object, or body part. A person with a fetish feels a compulsive need to use the object in order to obtain sexual gratification, and cannot achieve pleasure without it.”

  17. WOOL!!! I always wore wool as a kid and then in my teens I stopped. Then at 19 I started first job as a miner one mile underground. It was drafty cold place and I wore those one piece wool underwear with the draft at the back. I was loving it, so soft and toasty. I bought a pair for me and my girlfriend for…well you know… but it was “too itchy”. Damn those were high quality Stanfeilds too, hers were too tight of course (didn’t itch imo) and so perfect for the climate in Elliot Lake.

    Yeah I had a fetish but no one to play with. :*(

    But I don’t get those pics of the “wool people”, I thought the “fetish” you were talking about was like fetish in the second picture you referred too. They just look plain weird, like something out of a Douglas Adams novel.

  18. I like women to wear those stockings with the seam with high heals. If she was dressed in one of those 1940’s type dresses that are tight at the waist and a hat with a little netting over the front…even better. That is just plain sexy to me.

  19. @XUP: Preferences; no fetish. Might have had a thing for cutoff denims when I was a kid – suppose that’s quite specific and therefore weird. Maybe I saw Daisy Duke or something.

  20. Lebowski – I think I’m going to have to challenge you to another 24-hours.

    Milan – Okay…but that’s going to significantly reduce the confessions around here.

    Maurice – I can’t stand wool. Sure, people make some lovely things with it, but it makes me itchy to wear it — crazy itchy. I don’t care what kind it is.

    Cedarflame – Probably you should go and see the Vegas retro wedding pictures Jennifer posted on her It Ain’t Meat Babe blog.

    G – Didn’t kids in jolly old wear them ever? Or now? They’ve been popular around here since forever.

  21. perhaps a ten foot pole fetish?

    balloons? what’s the turn on? blowing them up?m popping them? rubbing them on your hair to create static electricity? making them do that terrible squeeking noise?

    this is going to be me up tonight.

  22. Hey–

    I do have a lot of fetishes. Having worked in sex education and drug policy for a while, I’ve been to countless workshops on kink/BDSM etc.

    I love the whole dom/sub thing. People think that it crosses over into your relationship but it doesn’t, as long as you are both okay with keeping it in the bedroom. You take total control of your partner and it’s really enjoyable. Of course, you need to have safe words so that everyone has a good time.

    I could list quite a few other fetishes — but my definition of fetish seems to be different. They are things that turn me on greatly beyond that of just regular sex or erotica. Redheads, for example, drive me wild and they always have. And I agree with the butt comment — the female body is a wonderland and their butts are no exception.

    So I don’t know if these are ‘fetishes’ by your definition but they turn me on and always will! The hard part is finding partners that have the same fetishes, or finding a submissive partner.

    -JM

  23. I checked out Jennifer’s It ain’t meat Blog and for a vegan type chick she is very hot in her black dress and veil and the red toenails and fingernails were just frosting on the cake. I am sure the nail polish was totally gluten free.

  24. Smothermother – Who knows? I don’t think I really want to know anyway, do you?

    LGS – Hee hee

    Trashy – There are a lot of bald men with smart phones. That’s all I have to say about that.

    Lebowski – Hmmm

    JunkieMonkey – Thank you for such a comprehensive response. Have you ever spent time on the east coast? Nova Scotia in particular is full of redheads. One of the first things I noticed about the place – the preponderance of red-haired people.

    Cedar – I’m glad to enjoyed Jennifer’s blog. I hope you left her a comment? She would be thrilled.

    Woodsy – You’re so naughty from afar.

  25. i have a hand fetish TOO! i like good hands. i do like to experiment, i like new things, i am not completely vanilla. i do like things on my face, HANDS for example 🙂

    there are more but i’m not gonna tell the internet.