I have an alarming number of friends who don’t drink any alcohol. Not that there’s anything wrong with not drinking alcohol; it’s just odd how many people I know all of a sudden who don’t.
From about the age of 15 to 30 all my friends and acquaintances did nothing but drink their faces off at every opportunity. After 30, my social circle wised up and started drinking more moderately. Now some of them don’t drink at all.
Some are alcoholics so they had to stop. Some just don’t like it anymore. One friend says she won’t drink because she becomes belligerent and scrappy when she drinks. I find this hard to believe because she’s normally sweet as pie, but I’ll take her word for it.
I do know people who become really belligerent and scrappy when they drink. They’re very tiresome at parties because they’ll start arguing about the bean dip and punch the first guy who presents a likely target. But then these people are usually pretty belligerent and scrappy to begin with.
Most people seem to just become exaggerated versions of themselves when they drink, I think. I don’t think I’ve ever known anyone who has a complete personality change when they drink, have you?
One guy I knew in university – blond, surfer type…madly in love with himself – he used get naked at every single party he was ever at. Two or three drinks and off came the togs. Actually, I suspect after a while he just didn’t even bother with the drinking part and just whipped it all out as soon as he got to the party.
And we all know women who get extremely ..um…er…frisky after a couple of drinks and everyone in trousers better put out or get out. They’re the ones who get themselves in trouble at the office Christmas party. It’s a cliché, but I was at a work Christmas party once where a normally under-the-radar type woman literally threw herself at our director. There he was enjoying an after dinner drink, chatting with some management types and she comes along and plops herself on his lap and winds her arms around his neck. That was some night.
And, I think we’ve all been at parties where there’s one miserable sod who has a couple of drinks and ends up in a corner weeping — telling you you’re a beautiful, beautiful person and that you’re the only real person they’ve ever known – even if you’ve just met. I don’t know why, but I usually end up getting cornered by this person at parties.
I try to stay well away from them and from the pathetic saddo who drinks weird stuff like Southern Comfort and coke finishes off the night by lolling on a sofa peeing himself and playing air guitar long after the music has stopped.
And, of course, every party has at least one assholes who will expand in assholishness as the night goes on. And he or she will start losing control of his or her voice and limbs and get really loud and will start breaking stuff and spilling stuff.
And then there are those who have no understanding of their own bodies and/or the effects of alcohol on them and so will be barfing – hopefully in or around a toilet. You’d think they’d have clued in by the time they’re 40, but amazingly, quite a few haven’t.
And almost everyone ends up saying the most astonishing things while under the influence. Some people tell you things they’ve bottled up for years. Things that should never be aired. Things they would kill to take back the next morning. It’s best to leave town if someone who’s a little high on Crown Royal has told you where he’s hidden the skeletons.
I think perhaps many of us have been in one or more of these positions over the years and maybe that’s why so many of us have quit drinking altogether. I will confess to having been in at least three of these positions myself at some point waaaaaaaay back in my much, much younger and more foolish days. And I one or two things I’m not particularly proud of.
But I learned. Water under the bridge.
These days, a little wine or a little beer — preferably with food — is my limit. Make no mistake, I really, really enjoy a nice glass of wine with a meal or a beer on a warm day, but a couple is usually enough. I have no desire or need to get anywhere close to drunk anymore. I don’t even know why I ever did.
Was it ever actually fun? Do any of you still enjoy getting good and drunk every so often?
ATTENTION!!! ATTENTION!!! The indominable Lynn has announced the details of this year’s Blog Out Loud Ottawa (BOLO). It will be held on Wednesday, July 7 at Irene’s Pub on Bank Street from 7:00 – 10:00 pm. Anyone who wants to read should register soon; but you don’t have to read to come out and enjoy an evening of food, drink and blogging hilarity. Check the BOLO website frequently for updates and details. Yay Lynn!!