Dreams of an Everyday Housewife

Does anyone remember the song of the same title as this post? Here’s an excerpt: 

She picks up her apron in little girl-fashion as something comes into her mind
Slowly starts dancing rememb’ring her girlhood
And all of the boys she had waiting in line
Oh, such are the dreams of the everyday housewife
You see ev’rywhere any time of the day
An everyday housewife who gave up the good life for me

Glen Campbell recorded it. I always thought Glen Campbell was a tool, but he, and this song in particular, rocked my dad’s socks back in the day. He (my dad, not Glen Campbell)  used to love to sing this song to my mum. My parents had a very traditional marriage with clearly defined wifely and husbandly roles. Dad went to work, mum stayed home.

As I kid, I used to think, “Thank god I’m not a boy. Boys have to grow up to be men who have to go to work every day.” I hated the idea of trudging off to work every day.

On the other hand, I also hated it that my mother had to ask my dad for money for every little thing she or the kids needed or wanted. And he’d never just trust her and hand it over. No, there always had to be a big discussion about it and most of the time my mother wouldn’t get the money she asked for.

My mother was also not allowed to make any decisions about anything except Christmas, which he didn’t care about as long as she stuck to the “Christmas budget”. She was also allowed to decide what to cook for supper – though that one was based on what my dad liked.

So, after weighing the pros and cons, I’d pretty much decided by the time I was 8 that I was never getting married.

Of course marriage isn’t like that anymore. Is it?

Maybe not for most folks, but there’s a new woman’s movement (fad) afoot where women are giving up often lucrative careers to become “retro housewives”. Yes, it’s actually called the Retro Housewife Movement. There’s even an official Retro Housewife website.

A whole passel of recent how-to be a retro housewife type books have flooded  the market: decorating guides, homecare manuals; there’s Happy Housewives by Darla Shine (she also has a website), How to be the Perfect Housewife by Anthea Turner, The Housewives Handbook by Rachel Simhon, and Caitlin Flanagan’s controversial  To Hell with All That: Loving and Loathing Our Inner Housewife.[1]

Flanagan accuses early feminists for dismantling family values, and says that not all housewives of the ‘50s and ‘60s were as bored or miserable as Betty Friedan wanted us to believe. She points to our ongoing fascination with Martha Stewart, who built “an empire on the notion that ironing and polishing silver and sweeping a kitchen floor might offer an almost sacred communion with what is most essentially and attractively feminine.” 

Canadian writer, Carolyn Mctighe, spent 2009 living as a 1950’s housewife as discussed in her blog Vacuuming in Pearls  (I’m not sure how the blogging part fits in with the 1950s housewife thing) But anyway, she mostly seemed to like the experience. She’s writing a book about it also called Vacuuming in Pearls. Stay tuned for that one.

The Retro Housewife Movement seems to be particularly popular in the UK. The Daily Mail did a feature a while back on several women who are completely living the lives of 1950s, 1940s or even 1930s housewives called Time Warp Wives. It’s…. umm…. interesting.  

So, how crazy is all this? Well, I think a lot of women are fed up with having to do too much. They won the right to go to work, but no one ever really replaced them in the home, so they bear the lion’s share of that responsibility, too.

Then there’s this whole economic crisis thingy which has led some people to discover, oddly enough, that they can’t afford to have both spouses working anymore. They can’t afford daycare or nannies. They can’t afford to eat in restaurants or order take-out every day anymore. They can’t afford cleaners. They can’t afford their big house or two cars anymore.

And, a lot of people are just plain fed up with the way things are going and want to simplify their lives. Living in the past seems to be the answer for some of them. Sure, some of it’s a little creepy, especially when couples take the whole thing to extremes. But perhaps if people can find a way to incorporate the good stuff from the past into their current lives?

 While there’s lots of ways I couldn’t imagine living in the 1950s, there are a few things that would be nice, such as:

  • Not having to go out to work
  • Spending more time with my family
  • Having time to prepare good meals and cook more
  • Better TV and movies – each show and movie was an event not just one of a million others just like it
  • Not having gadgets – much as I love my gadgets I’d love to live in a world without DVDs, computers, cell phones, iPods, etc.
  • No malls
  • No sprawls
  • Less cars
  • Real communities
  • Teenagers went to sock hops and got pinned instead of going to raves and getting high

[1] Flanagan’s book is controversial because while she espouses living like a 1950s type housewife, her version of that is giving up her career, but hiring nannies and housekeepers to do all the drudge work at home.

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40 responses to “Dreams of an Everyday Housewife

  1. Are there still men in families where both parents work and the man does nothing in the home? Dad was like that. Came home and sat down. Mom worked full time and had to do everything with no clothes dryer, dishwasher or microwave. And Dad would not eat anything except real food (no instant mashed potatoes, for instance, although the early ones really were gross). I’m thankful every day that I do not have to work. And that I have a clothes dryer, dishwasher and microwave.

    So do these 50’s housewives buy clothes that are not permanent press and wash them, hang them on the line, and then iron them, as well as wash all dishes by hand? If not, they are just pretenders.

  2. Somehow I managed not to pick up old school gender roles as the norm even with a SAHM and Dad going to work. I suppose that’s because she was employed in his same profession before we came along and ended up running a business from home while raising us, and he cooked and cleaned as much as she did. I guess it was a great example!

    I ended up going to one of those hoity toity wimmin’s colleges (Betty and Gloria’s!), and I have a lot of respect for the feminists of yore. I admit I still like the brash women of the workplace, but you’re right, they go home and do most of the chores there too! I love that I don’t feel limited, that I have choices, and that my mother doesn’t even guilt trip me about not being married or having kids. Throw in making about four times what my (male) partner makes and I suppose it’s one version of what my dad always talked about: The American Dream. (Canadian too I guess?) He often said it sarcastically but there really is some dream out there.

    I believe whatever it takes to give kids of today confidence will make the world better. There really is something special about working hard and honestly and believing in yourself, usually from someone else believing in you first.

    And holy crap, if I had to stay at home I’d go nuts. Even if I pop out some kids I’m going to work… cooking and cleaning saps my will to live.

    The real question: will reading Twilight undo all this self-worth we are building in our kids? 😉

  3. I guess each woman to her own.But, if put in a house to housewife it with no prospect of a career or turns in life, personally I guess I will burn the house down

  4. I’m having yet another “one of those weeks” at work, at the Widget Factory. Wondering WTF I’m doing with my career and my life…

    And you know what? The thought of staying home and cooking and cleaning all day, doesn’t seem that bad, right now.

  5. my mom was stay at home. i also remember her being really busy with non-house related stuff (book clubs, meals on wheels etc etc). and she controls the money to this day. it is my dad who forked over his whole pay and she gave him an allowance for the week – of course he could have more if there was something special he wanted (rare). she controlled all that.
    i’m always toying with idea of staying at home – mostly because my job doesn’t fulfill me. i’m sure if i had a great job i’d prefer to be at work than at home. right now though the kids are fun to be around, i love to cook, do house projects – i think i could really get into being at home.

  6. Geewits – Yes, there are definitely guys who never cook, have no idea where the washer and dryer are and wouldn’t recognize their own kids if they ran into them on the street. Even in relationships where they guy does “pitch in” it’s not often 50:50. As for the 50s housewife trend, yes, I do believe these women completely furnish their homes and themselves with retro stuff. No dryer, dishwasher, microwave, etc. They wear retro clothing, they defer to their husbands in most of the decision-making, they do their own hair with Toni home perms, cook/bake everything from scratch. I’m not sure how they manage it in a 2010 world, but I guess as long as they’re in the house they’re in the 1950s.

    Amy – I rarely hear from people who love going out to work. So good for you and yes, good for our pioneer feminist sisters who made it possible for you to pursue a great career. But nothing is without a price. For all the women who are thankful that they aren’t stuck at home cooking, cleaning and raising brats, there are at least as many who wish they didn’t have to go out to work every day, but have to. One of the things the influx of women in the workplace and the 2-income family did was drive up the cost of living to a point where a family now needs to incomes. Don’t even talk to me about Twilight!

    Ramble – I think even in the 1950s a woman determined to have a career, could have one. There were plenty of women out working – perhaps not in executive positions, but in many of the same jobs dominated by women today – teaching, nursing, social work, administrative positions, retail, service industry, etc.

    Friar – I know! I don’t know what all this “I’d go crazy if I couldn’t go to work” thing is anyway. Lack of imagination maybe. Running a home would be a great job if only it paid.

    Meanie – You never know until you try, right? If I were a housewife I’d want to control the money, too. Part of running a household should be paying the bills. Why don’t you take one of those unpaid leave things for a year and see how it goes? Or do income averaging and take whatever the max off and see? At least that way you still have some income while you’re home. If you’re going to do it, might as well be while the kids are still young, right?

  7. Let’s see if I can write more coherently today….
    I love this post and this topic. It is a sensitive one and there is no right or wrong here, each family has to figure out what works best for them. But I really think that more families should consider the option of having one parent stay home, and not necessarily just the mom. I took two years at home in two separate mat leaves and my husband stayed home a further two and a half years. He did the groceries, the cooking, playgroups, nursery school board of director gig etc etc etc. The quality of life for our family was more relaxed than if we had both been at work full time. And when the costs of daycare as well as the costs of working (transportation, work clothes, coffees, lunches out) are considered, I don’t think the financial hit is as significant as most people think. I enjoyed being off the hamster wheel for a few years.

  8. Funny, I’ve started watching Mad Men recently. Takes place back then – late 50s, early 60s.

    Where does this idea come that things were so much better “then”. What’s with the rose coloured glasses?

    People are people, whatever the era. And honestly, if I had to ask Mr. Jazz for money and vacuum and cook (the horror – for both of us) and watch soaps… well, I’d go insane in short order.

  9. Surely the point of women’s lib was not that women had to go to work but that they could have the choice. The fact that a huge proportion of our generation decided this meant they could have more stuff if both worked is sad but it is the choice so many made.
    If the choice is missing , or financial needs impel the choice then there is not a great deal of progress to look at yet is there.
    Still there are I think fewer women now who see no choice in their life than sticking with a relationship they hate because there is no real option for them or their families.
    Now as for women who want to go back to the fifties are they prepared also to give up alimony and property as their parents would have if they do divorce.
    I want to go back to live off the land like in colonial times but I also realize that the image is a Disneyfied dream, not the reality of dirt. disease and danger it really was.

  10. I never had a doubt that I would have a career and work, with a family. My whole life was set up for me to succeed as a salaried professional. It never, ever occurred to me that I’d stay at home with kids. This was mostly because of the drive my parents had to get me through college, but partly because I saw first-hand that being a SAHM made my mother insane. Batshit, screaming, looney, lock-herself-in-the-bathroom nutcase and she blamed it all on being kicked out of the workforce.

    By her generation’s standards, it was just what was done: when her boss found out she was pregnant with me, she was fired her from a job she LOVED, then backward colleagues blacklisted her. She had a university degree and found that her only respite from despair was going to AAUW and NOW meetings in the 70s.

    I strongly feel that my mother and her generation paid for me to have the privilege to work and I thank them for their sacrifices. Ha, and I married a guy that cooks, does laundry, and is not emasculated by me giving him a stipend after I work out the month’s budget. 50s housewife, no thanks.

  11. My mother was a stay at home mom, but we lived on a farm so she was a farm wife and my father went outside the home to work, my mother totally got screwed in the deal.

  12. I was eight in 1950 and thus can clearly remember a fifties housewife – my mother – a thoroughbred hooked to a plough and thoroughly bored and miserable. I have an equally thoroughbred daughter who is a full time university professor with one daughter and one teen stepson, a woman who fills each unrelenting minute with about 100 seconds worth of work of all kinds. And who has not read for pleasure for seven years.
    Neither of them had/have comfortable lives.
    My own take on it is that I have always needed to earn money – household money contributed by the working spouse is spent under his (her? ha) rules. What good is leisure to go to the movies if you can’t pay for a ticket? I’ve always worked, much of the time part time, while raising two kids. I have ended up with no consistent career but lots of useful experience. And sane.

  13. I am a stay at home Mom. Working Mom’s vs. @ home Moms – what a sensitive topic! I do not think one way is right. I see pros and cons to both. Right now being at home works well for our family, but that can always change. The website Retro Housewife makes me cringe. I am anything but a dolled up wife making the home clean for “my man”. Who wants to go back to the 50’s? Look at the bras they had to wear…poor women. I am happy with my choices, but working odd part time jobs (dog walking, baking for a local caterer) maintaining our home, family and running our finances is anything but glamorous. Recently a woman asked me “Doesn’t it bother you, you are sending the message (by staying at home) to your daughters that they do not need ambition in life?” Nice, eh?

  14. I don’t get the whole retro housewife thing but I know my generation (born 70’s) is full of people like me who are very consciously feminists AND making the choice to be stay at home parents. We are concerned about the effect institutional daycare has on children and as our generation has always had the CHOICE of becoming parents or not. we take parenting pretty seriously.

    I think it is likely that some of these childless retro housewives (and they all seem to be childless) feel the same sense of dissatisfaction with our 2nd wave feminist upbringings and the often outrageous demands on women and are looking back nostalgically to a simpler time.

  15. my mom worked ft and my dad did until he took a VERY early retirement by the time i was about 9. ‘

    but even when he was home, he wasnt. he was out at the hotel. tinkering with his bike. he never cooked.

    mom came home from work, whipped something up, did the housewife chores and sure as hell didnt wear pearls doing it.

    i really dont think she would have changed it though.

  16. My mother would cut short every afternoon outing to get home in time to “make dinner for [your father]”. Drove me insane, that idea, mostly because she didn’t do it out of love of making him dinner, but because she felt she had to. Personally, I would have let him go hungry, and often did when she started working. He once went for 2 weeks without tea because he ran out of teabags while she was away visiting her sister. Probably had no idea how to get around a grocery store. On the other hand, he would eat anything you put in front of him and not complain.

    These Retro Housewives seems to be only play acting. It is not hard to decorate and dress in 50s style and not even that hard to do without the gadgets. The attitude and laws of that era would be much harder to live with. But then, they don’t have to.

  17. I was raised by a SAHM until we came back from a tour of duty on Okinawa. Then my mom had to find a job so that they could pay for college for five kids. My dad hated it, we kids each got a night to cook dinner, and they didn’t always turn out. We also had to help so my mom didn’t have to do all the housework on weekends. Believe me, my brothers can do laundry and iron.

    I worked because my husband expected it. There was no choice for me to stay home and raise kids. Maybe that’s why that marriage didn’t last. New husband helped, and we expected the kids to help too. The boys know how to do laundry.

    Now I have one son with a SAHM wife, and they are perfectly happy. Daughter has supported that family for three years while her husband was out of work, and he took care of the kids. The other son is being supported by his wife, who has a work from home job, and no kids.

    Guess whatever it takes to make it work.

  18. Boy was I glad to see this post. You actually mention me in your blog, regarding my year as a 1950’s housewife. I should tell you that despite many wonderful things I learned about myself over the course of the year, I couldn’t be more happy to be back in the modern world. Things were certainly not easy back then, not equal or even fair. Women were relegated to a subordinate lifestyle that was often not their choice, but one they found themselves accepting.

    My experience was much the same. There were days were I felt proud that I could make breakfast for the kids before school and sew a dress for my daughter’s sixth birthday, but there were also days were I felt lost within my house. I felt alone, depressed and bored. The only thing that kept me going was the knowledge that it would be over soon. My grandmother and many other women, didn’t have that luxury. Reflecting on her life, she’ll tell you that the 1950’s were her happiest…but I somehow doubt that. Time has a funny way of playing tricks on you.

    With regards to the blogging, that was a struggle. As a writer I needed to document my work, but I also didn’t want to compromise my project. In the end, I decided to write the few blogs that I did post in long hand and had my husband type them out for me.

    Thanks for starting this conversation.

    Best,
    Carolyn McTighe

  19. Finola – The stay-at-home-parent topic is a whole other discussion – I think we’ve touched on it once before, but it does come up a lot. It’s a tough decision for people to make..so many considerations to take into account. Back in the day none of those even arose. It was just taken for granted that the mother would stay home.

    Jazz- I don’t think anyone is saying everything was much better back then – just that it’s a shame that we had to lose a few of the things that really were better back then. Well, maybe the Retro Housewives think everything was better back then or maybe they’ve just re-invented “back then” in order to live more pleasant lives now??

    Dave – I think there are still plenty of marriages that stay together because neither partner can afford their lifestyle on their own. In that respect, and in the respect you mention that women really don’t have all that much choice now, things have not improved. As I said to Jazz, I think the retro housewives don’t (and can’t) actually live like 1950s people – just their romanticized version of it. And there’s nothing wrong with that, is there?

    Nylon – How unfortunate for your mother (and the rest of the family!) You’re right in that we have a lot to thank our sisters in past decades for.

    Friar – I told you. He’s a tool! That’s what he gets for patronizing housewives.

    Cedar – My mum was a farm wife, too. I don’t know if she felt she got screwed or not. I’ll have to ask her. She certainly didn’t get out much – but then she’s pretty introverted anyway.

    Mary – You seem to have found something of a middle ground between your mum and your daughter. If you had to do it over again, would you change anything?

    MM – You’ve got it made. I stayed home with my daughter the first 5 years and I would have stayed home longer if there had been some other source of income for our little family, but the savings and the occasional jobs only stretched so far. You’re lucky and I think you’re sending your children exactly the right message – family first!

    Loth – Ho! I didn’t realize there was an Anthea Turner rule of thumb available. Thanks.

    Mudmama – I think you’re right. And you, in a way are living a retro lifestyle, too. You’ve eschewed the 21st century status quo and chosen to live a simpler, family-centered life.

    Jobthingy – I keep wondering how my dad would have coped if my mum had died first. He no housekeeping skills whatsoever – like your dad. And no interest in learning, either.

    Violetsky – You’re right. I’ve said as much to a couple of commenters already. But hey – if they want to pretend to be retro housewives, let them. They’re not hurting anyone. Sure, they’re a little weird, but aren’t we all?

    Susan – That’s great that the kids – including the boys – had to help out. My brothers never had to do anything around the house because they were boys. They didn’t learn to look after themselves until they were adults and/or until their wives left them.

    Carolyn – Hey! Very cool of you to come and comment. And thanks for the perspective. Obviously most of my readers agree with you that they would NOT want to live as 1950s housewives. Still there things about the past we shouldn’t dismiss just because it wasn’t all rosy. The value of a parent being home with children – as some commenters have mentioned – as well as some of the other things I had in my list. Good luck with the book and let us know when it will be on the shelves!

  20. I would LOVE to be able to stay at home all day! Except instead of childrearing, I would prefer to foster sick, abused and abandoned animals. 🙂

  21. As a single mum, I don’t have the choice. It’s hard to be a housewife when you aren’t a wife. 🙂 But, on the whole, I’m happy. I like my job, I like being with my daughters and cooking and baking and puttering in the garden. I don’t hate housework, but I don’t like having to rush to get it all done in the short amount of time that I have in order to accomplish it. I’m rambling, I know. I wish I could work part time for full time salary, so I could be home when the girls come home from school at the end of the day. Not very realistic, I know, but so is playing at being a 50s housewife.

  22. XUP, believe me it didn’t start out with my brothers having to iron. Parents thought it was “woman’s” work, and they would have wives to do it. Guess I was a little ahead of my time, because I didn’t think it was fair for one, and then I pointed out that I wasn’t going to be the one ironing their clothes if they didn’t get married. At least one of my parents was thinking, and they started ironing.

  23. Pauline – Well, I think some people somehow manage to do that. There are all sorts of private shelters around. I don’t know how they sustain themselves though – beyond donations.

    Alison – I know. I wouldn’t mind doing housework either if it wasn’t somethign I had to squeeze in in between all the other shit I have to do. And I think I wouldn’t even mind working quite so much if I had someone at home who looked after the housekeeping, shopping, laundry, etc.

    Susan – We were outnumbered in our house by the boys, so they won the right to be macho while we did all the household chores. Ah well, joke’s on them when they had to spend 10 years eating boiled water and toast!

  24. I am a stay at home Mom and I wouldn’t have it any other way (right now). When I had my first child I was fortunate enough that I could make the choice to give up my career, a career that I had made my main focus for nine years before chidren, a career where I earned more money than my husband did at the time.

    Lucky for me, I have a supportive husband who is proud of my choice and who praises my decision, and values what I do in our family. Our children are ‘our’ children, our home ‘our’ home, our money ‘our’ money and we make decisions together. My husband doesn’t make major career decisions without discussing them with me and I don’t make major household decisions or decisions about the children without consulting him.

    Sure there are boring days, there are days that I wish would hurry up and end, but I seem to recall there were bad days when I worked in my career!

    I know what having a career is all about, I’ve done that. I am confidant that I can go back to work when I want to (or if life takes a turn where I have to God forbid), sure I realize it might be difficult to return to the workforce, and that I might never end up in a position I could’ve had, had I not chosen to stay home all these years. I also know what it’s like to stay home full time and raise my children and I have absolutely no regrets. I know that I can never go back to this job, because once my kids are finished being kids there will never be another opportunity to raise them again.

  25. Betsy Mae – Very nicely said! I’d choose raising my kids over work any day. Not everyone can be happy doing that, but if you are – go for it.

  26. We have the feminists of the 70s (and note, there have been other feminists in other time periods, even going back to the 1700s), to thank for really giving woman the power of career choice in their lives. However, what the 1970s feminist did that was utterly damaging is that they fiercely deprecated and devalued the woman’s role in the home. It’s as if they thought that biology and eons of evolution could be wiped away by simply donning a business suit.
    The feminist movement made several core assumptions that were not universally true.
    1. That all women at the time were ‘trapped’ in the traditional housewife role. The thing we need to realize is that many women went into this role joyfully. Remember, they were survivors of World War II. They had seen brothers, high school sweethearts and other loved ones killed in battle. Many thought that marriage and settling down might not even be a possibility. And after growing up in the “dirty 30s”, a streamlined kitchen with a modern fridge and all the other conveniences would have, indeed, made a housewife’s heart sing.
    2. Following the traditional role keeps a woman from growing up and having a meaningful life. Many of these women were the backbone of their communities. They were powerhouses in charities, church functions, and politics. They were actually around to discipline their children, and kept a close watch on the other children in the neighborhood. My mother’s talents were/are enormous. She sewed all of my clothes until I was in high school (including underwear), quilted, canned, gardened, baked from scratch, and actually knew all her neighbors, just to name a few.
    3. A meaningful life can only be found outside the home. As a career woman most of my life, I can tell you that this isn’t true. How many of us have office jobs that suck the life out of us? And what could be more meaningful than raising good, well-rounded human beings and building a solid home for them? I believe that sometimes feminists confuse meaning with difficulty. It is powerfully difficult to deal with kids day after day, to feed them, clothe them, listen to them, clean up after them. Those so-called menial tasks are hugely important…and yes, meaningful.
    4. That the feminist movement knew best for the next generation of young women. In this belief, where they silenced the views of women who might want to be homemakers, feminists stiffled women as much as the repressive Freudians and other patriarchal institutions.
    5. And lastly, that men hold women down. Personally, I have found that many housewives run the finances in the home. My husband gets an allowance, and he is truly happy with the arrangement…as he loathes paying bills. My father was the same way. Ironically enough, I think that my husband respects and honors me even more now that I am back home. It seems like we have more quality time together because we are not frantically, and wearily, cramming household tasks on top of our already exhausting work day. I think this notion of men suppressing women has much more to do with individuals, and should not be a wide-sweeping label for the genders.
    Just some thoughts. I am certainly not telling anyone what they should do. However, as an artist, home business owner, and yes, proud housewife, I can tell you that I’ve never been happier.
    Much of my art deals indirectly with this topic, from paintings of retro hats, to hard-edged views of the American Dream. It can be found at my website, Loud Colors online gallery.
    A book that I am finding of some great interest is “Radical Homemakers” by Shannon Hayes, that examines the political, economic, and sociological aspects of working in the home.

  27. Just for accuracy’s sake, Flanagan, not only struggles with, but actually reassesses, the nanny and housekeeper thing. I think she honestly looks at every angle of the modern woman’s need to “do it all”, and figures out her own priorities at the end.

  28. Cory – I agree with pretty much everything you say. I think there was a great deal of value in what the feminists of the 1960s and 1970s accomplished — we don’t want to dismiss that (freedom from domestic violence, freedom from workplace harassment, some measure of pay equity, a wider range of career opportunties, freedom from being ostracized as a single parent, divorcee, single woman, etc., etc.) However, we did sort of throw out the baby with the bathwater. As you say, all this freedom and equality devalued something that a lot of women were perfectly happy doing. Thanks for visiting and for the comment.

  29. Thank you for such a stimulating blog discussion! I’m so glad that we, as women, are asking ourselves what we REALLY want, rather than letting society, or feminist academia, dictate what we SHOULD want. I’ll definitely be visiting again…great blog site!

  30. Cory – Thanks. We have a lot of interesting discussions here. You might like some of the topics covered more recently, too. I’ll be interested in your input!

  31. I had a discussion about this awhile back online and offline. The whole feminist movement – of course women should have equal rights etc, but I look at it from a political point of view. Feminism has extremely close ties with communism. I grew up in USSR – the concept of a housewife didn’t exist there at all. My great-grandmother worked full time. Everyone worked – while in reality people had a choice, economically they didn’t. I am shocked by the similarities of the society I grew up in (communism) to today’s society – most families would love to have one parent stay at home – but they can’t afford to. People have choice, but economically many don’t, especially in large cities.

    I am not talking about other negative effects of communism – higher self entitlement of many single high earning career women – they think they are all that = all this equals many single unhappy people. The family values have been eroded. It’s a touchy subject many people don’t like to talk about.

    Women should of course, be able to choose – but ask any working mother what she would choose – and in majority of cases you will hear – stay home and do some work on the side.

  32. “I am not talking about other negative effects of communism”

    meant to say

    I am not talking about other negative effects of feminism

  33. Slateblue – That’s a very interesting point. I wish you’d found me when this post was first published so the other readers could have read your comment, too. Perhaps we’ll have to visit this topic again some time. I would definitely like to stay home and just do a little work on the side. I managed to arrange it so I could do that when my daughter was young, and I think everyone could if they lowered their expectations of what they should have.

  34. Pingback: If you wanna make God laugh tell him your plans « Sfield12's Blog