The table next to us quickly filled up with young guys in their late teens/early twenties. We were half-way through our lunch; they, still bleary-eyed with sleep were just ordering breakfast.
“So, what did you guys do last night?” says Guy #1
Guy #2 answers, “Not much. Hit a couple of clubs.”
Guy #1 comes back with, “Anything good?”
Guy #3 responds, “Nah, everything was full of, like, cougars.”
Guy #4 pipes in, “It sucked, man. Nuthin’ but old women.”
Guy #5 clarifies, “Ya, there wasn’t one chick, like, under 30.”
“No way!” exclaims a shocked Guy #1.
They carry on talking about the horror, freak-show of women over 30 out dancing, trying to pick up young guys.
Celebrities like Demi Moore, Naomi Watts, Joan Collins, Susan Sarandon have made the cougar concept popular, though still ridiculable. It was actually a Canadian dating site (Cougardate.com) that first coined the term, though.
The general definition of a cougar is a woman over 40 who sexually pursues younger men. The men, called “cubs” are typically at least 8 years younger, though some cougars say the men have to be under 25.
I don’t get the attraction. At all. On either side. Cougars say they like the young guys because they’re more adventurous and energetic and come with less baggage. [I think this translates into “I can’t bring myself to have sex with a fat, bald, wrinkly old man”]
Cubs say they like older women because they’re experienced, know what they want and don’t play games. [I think this translates into “old broads are easy lays”]
Some cougars just slap on a lot of make-up, push-up bras and slutty clothes and go out to clubs trolling for boys. Other cougars spend all their non-trolling hours in the gym or spa getting firmed-up, de-wrinkled and youthified and/or at the cosmetic surgeon getting nipped and tucked.
I envy that these 40 and 50-year-old women still have the energy and stamina to keep up with a 20-year-old. I’m no couch potato or anything, but I like to spend a good portion of my bedtime, sleeping.
Is it just sex these women are after? What would a 45-year-old have to talk about with a 22-year-old, for instance? You have absolutely no frames of reference in common. Their heads are full of hopes, dreams and unrealistic plans for their future. They think the 1980s are retro. Your head is full of memories, experiences, hurts, concerns, regrets and retirement plans. You were on your second marriage and had 3 kids by the end of the 1980s.
Every 6-months or so we get a new crop of 20-something students at our workplace We interact with them — mainly about work stuff. Sometimes we have inter-generational non-work-related conversations. While some are more tolerable than others, I haven’t come across any yet that I’d want to have intimate or personal conversations with on a day-to-day basis.
As for physical attraction? That I really don’t get. Yes, some of them are firm and maybe even buff. And most of them still have hair, but so what? Their faces are bland. Their characters are still half-formed. Not much of anything shows in their eyes. All that baggage cougars find so irksome in older men – all that baggage cougars try to erase from their own faces — is often what makes them (or any person) interesting.
How much fun is a blank slate? A book without words? A picture without colour or hue or tone or shading?
And how do you even date someone who’s around the same age as your kids? That’s just Jerry Springer creepy. When one of the guys at work makes some slavering remark about one of the 20-year-old female students and he has a daughter at home that same age, I always say, “Ewwww! What’s wrong with you? She’s your daughter’s age!”
Then he says, “Ya. So? She’s not my daughter.”
Then I say, “Ya, but she’s somebody’s daughter and somebody else your age could be saying and thinking things like that about your daughter.”
Sometimes that shuts them up. Sometimes it just makes them look really confused. Sometimes they don’t care. These are not the type of older men I was referring to above who are so interesting because of their “character.”
What do you think? Are you interested in dating much younger people? (Or would you be if you weren’t in your current relationship)? Do you find much younger people attractive? Or, if you’re a young person, would you or are you interested in much older people? Have any of you ever dated far outside of your age group? Any by “far” I would think anything over 15 years.
 The definition sometimes stretches to women over 35. Woman younger than that who pursue much younger men are called “Pumas” – cougars-in-training
 I believe this is some form of “scared straight” type of punishment meted out by universities for students who are not “pulling their socks up”. Half a year in a government office tends to really motivate them into doing well at school so they can get real jobs when they graduate.
 Young people can be somewhat interesting if they’re family or friends of family. And most young people can be interesting in small doses. But the idea of having an intimate relationship with one just seems boring.