Most Lazy-Assed Person in Ottawa

door opener

You know those automatic door openers next to mall doors and the doors of some shops? Sometimes they’re just red buttons, sometimes they’re big metal buttons with a stick figure in a wheelchair in the middle of them, like the one pictured above.

It’s always been my impression, wrongly or rightly,  that these automatic door devices are for people in wheelchairs or maybe people with baby buggies or shopping carts, right? And maybe little kids because they like to push the button and watch the door magically open.

But able-bodied people just strolling by? Put it down to my teutonic sense of following rules, but I don’t think these able-bodied, unencumbered people ought to be pushing the automatic door button. If for no other reason than the more the button is pushed, the more likely it is to become inoperable, causing great inconvenience to people who really need it.

So yesterday I’m at the library ready to leave when the woman ahead of me (perfectly mobile — I saw her walk and use her limbs — one book in hand – no cart, no stroller) pushes the automatic door button.

And then she stands in the doorway and waits for the door to slowly open all the way. Just stands there.

Yes, indeedy. Doesn’t help by pushing the door a bit like most people would. No. just stands there, big ass quivering expectantly.

I’m hungry and kind in a hurry to get home, and the door opens really slowly,  so now my inner rude person comes out and I involuntarily, but quite audibly say, “You’ve got to be kidding me, lady! The door has hinges and so do your arms!!!”

She bristles and stiffens, but pretends not to hear and makes a point of planting her feet even more firmly in the doorway.

People behind me giggle.