Neil, Buzz, Al & Other Conspiracies

Are any of you old enough to remember that moon-landing back in 1969? It’s definitely one of those long-ago things that does NOT seem like it happened just yesterday. That one seems like a least two lifetimes ago.

If it really happened!

Ya, the big Moon Landing is one of the all-time favourites among conspiracy theorists. They’ve done elaborate research on the film footage and stills and reckoned the photographic technology just wasn’t there in 1969 to produce that calibre of film. Not to mention that the technology to land on the moon apparantly wasn’t quite within grasp yet either. But the Americans were afraid the Russians were going to beat them, so they faked the whole thing.

Other great conspiracies include the one that believes the US was behind 9/11. There was a documentary about it called Loose Change that proved why and how. America needed oil and needed a really good reason to invade some oil rich country.

The AIDS conspiracy. That the whole virus was created in a lab for some germ warfare thing or something and either accidentally or on-purpose was released into the wild.

Along with this one is the multi-national pharmaceutical conspiracy. That populations are deliberately infected with new illnesses so that pharma can generate drugs and vaccinations to “cure” them. Not that far-fetched. Because I’m pretty sure that globally healthy people would not be a good thing for these guys.

The Kennedy assasination conspiracy, of course, will never die. Princess Diana also, was murdered in a giant conspiracy plot. Maybe even Elvis. Now, Michael Jackson, too. Fabulously famous people never just die once; they die over and over and over and over.

The whole Roswell UFO thing. I won’t even pretend to be able to unravel that one.

Maybe someone near Atlanta can explain the thing about the stack of 500,000 plastic coffins beside a major road just outside of Atlanta? The theory is that these are owned by FEMA and that FEMA has also set up concentration camps all over the US in preparation for the imposition of martial law and the killing of millions of Americans. The current finanacial crisis will apparantly be the justification to impose a police state.

The Global Warming conspiracy. This was all cooked up by politiicans, you know in order to give them a nice big fat diversion on which to focus campaigns and draw attention away from real issues like poverty, crime, education, health care and all that nasty international stuff. It’s would be a kick-ass ploy if it were real. Whoever thought of it should be given the Whole Wide World PR Award or something. Because whenever the polls ask what people think is important, damn if the environment isn’t right up there.

Oh, and here’s one I’ve never heard before. Did you know that Canada, the US and Mexico are secretly plotting to form a North American Union (NAU)? Something similar to the European Union? We’ll have a common currency called the “amero”. It’s all part of a greater plot to take over the world or something. The NAU idea is very popular among academics and economists, (not the taking over the world part, just the union part). Those in charge in all three countries deny the whole thing.

Conpiracy theories are fun to read about. The best part is that there are actually all sorts of weird and convoluted conspiracies going on all the time. I think there are a lot of people in very powerful positions who do not have the best interests of the average citizen at heart. And that some of this stuff could be at least partly true. Remember, Just because we’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get us.

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35 responses to “Neil, Buzz, Al & Other Conspiracies

  1. Ya left out the Bilderberg Conference, the Trilateral Commission and almost everything about getting gooey caramel inside choklit bars…

  2. Mythbusters did a really good episode in which they successfully proved that several of the things conspiracists raise as being proof that the landing was a fake were in fact accurate for the conditions on the moon. Which isn’t to say that it wasn’t still faked, just that they did a really good job. 😉

    The insidious thing about conspiracy theories is that many of them use fairly complicated and convoluted logic that is plausible. I worked with a guy once who had this very complex story about how the Canadian government was conspiring against him. On the surface, you would think “Oh, he’s a nutjob” but if you listened to him closely, it was only slightly outlandish.

    The coffin thing is interesting — I hadn’t heard about that one.

  3. The Global Warming conspiracy isn’t a conspiracy — it’s a consensus!

    (Actually, I’d bet on the next several years being similar to this year — or colder.)

  4. Funny, how politicians constantly do stupid things, like leave sensitive documents out in press rooms, or get caught having illicit sex, or leak the next year’s budget…..

    Yet we think these SAME people are somehow capable of master-minding the most intricate conspiracies like 911 or the Moon Hoax.

    And….managing to keep everything SECRET for decades.

    Yeahhhhh…..right.

    One of my favorite video clips (which you can find on Youtube) is when an obnoxious reporter confronts Buzz Aldrin, and accuses him of being a “liar” and a “coward”, because we never went to the moon.

    Buzz (who was in his 70’s at the time) didn’t say anything. But simply went and punched the guy out.

    Suddenly, I have MORE respect for Buzz than I already did. 😉

  5. I used to have a lapel button that said, “Even paranoids have real enemies”. Maybe a little easier than the double negative twister?

    I don’t think there are many real conspiracies because you just can’t get that many people to keep a secret.

  6. Coyote – I’m not sure we’re allowed to talk about the gooey caramel conspiracy and Bilderberg and Trilateral aren’t all that interesting — just seem like schoolyard cliques on a bigger scale. Also, I didn’t have room for all the conspiracies in the world. There was no deeper and/or darker plot behind omitting them. I promise.

    Louise – The coffin thing is very freaky. There are endless internet forums dedicated to it. Lots of Americans seem to think they’re about to be killed off and buried; though personally, if I were going to kill millions of people it would be much more efficient to just dig a big pit and burn them, wouldn’t you think?

    Mike – So are you saying there is no global warming?

    Friar – I don’t think for a minute that bumbling politicians are behind any real or imagined conspiracies. The real conspiracies are hatched and executed by those with real power and oceans of money who want more power and more oceans of money and/or are protecting their money and power — people like multi-national zillionaire corporate types, foreign oil-rich royalty, and Oprah aided by the spooks of the world. Those guys could absolutely keep things secret for decades. There are some scary-assed people out there we never hear anything. How do I know this? I can’t tell.

    Julia – Like I said to Friar, I think with enough money and power a lot can be made to happen and hushed up indefinitely.

    Zoom – It’s actually the very first thing I thought when it first happened, but it’s apparently treasonous and/or completely insane to think that now so I try not to.

  7. Mike – So are you saying there is no global warming?

    The Earth has been warming since the end of 1700s — the end of the little ice age (LIA). However, it has been in cycles of warming, cooling, warming a bit higher, cooling not as far, warming higher…, and so on.

    Right now we are in a cooling period. Even some of the global warming alarmists are starting to try to explain away the fact that there has been no warming this decade.

    So far as CO2 being the cause and man being the culprit, I really don’t think so.

  8. I actually seem to collect a lot of conspiracy theorists on my site, mostly of the ‘climate change isn’t happening/caused by humans/dangerous’ sort.

    I have given the whole phenomenon a bit of thought. Mostly, it seems to be a situation where the cognitive shortcuts we use to deal with the limitations of our own knowledge end up serving us very badly.

  9. Some people actually claim the Loch Ness monster isn’t real, it’s just a huge conspiracy to sell lurid green stuffed toys and persuade people to visit Inverness to stare at an expanse of water for hours on end. What will they think of next?

  10. How come all the conspiracy stuff always revolves around the U.S.? Don’t other countries get invaded by Aliens?

  11. “I were going to kill millions of people it would be much more efficient to just dig a big pit and burn them”

    My dear, your ethnic roots are showing.

  12. The reality is that people are not as clever as we think they are. This “They” that’s mentioned in so many conspiracy theories is given way too much credit. The track record of so many failed government things and leaks and whatnot would make some big global hoax impossible. As far as Roswell though, one of the former astronauts actually said in an interview that there were aliens there and that they were very advanced and that if they had been enemies, we would all be dead. I read a transcript of his radio interview in some Florida newspaper online, but haven’t heard anything else about it. But that could have been fake, too. Who knows? And so what?

  13. Mike – I see. That’s not what David Suzuki says and I usually believe him, but I’ve heard your theory a lot, too.

    Milan – That was quite a discussion on your blog! Aside from the 3 belief systems you mention, I think much of what humans believe is based on faith. Religious beliefs certainly, but also belief in other gurus, doctors, the media, etc. And no amount of evidence or logic will shake faith.

    Loth – People are indeed crazy. No Lochness Monster, indeed. Some people also try to refute the existence of Yeti and of Bigfoot. These creatures are obviously immortal, which automatically makes them real.

    Cedar – “Cuz ya’ll are the most crazy-assed people on the freakin’ planet, that’s why. The rest of us are just sitting back all the time chillin’ and eating stuff and drinking things and listening to music while you all are out starting wars and shooting things and blowing up stuff and subverting people and just generally so frantic about stuff. It makes ya’ll paranoid.

    Lebowski – Well come on. You don’t have to have a special ethnicity to see that if you’re going to kill millions of people somehow, that it would take a really long time to give them all a proper Christian burial. Who has time for that?

    Geewits – So what indeed! I don’t rule out the idea that there could be other forms of life in the vast universe or even that they might have visited us and/or continue to visit us.Nothing is impossible as far as I’m concerned. Same with all these theories. Some are way out there, but some deserve at least a passing thought. Other people have mentioned that there couldn’t possibly be a “they” that’s clever enough to pull off all these conspiracies, but I’m not so sure. As I noted before, with enough money and enough at stake, all sorts of shit can happen. And no one would ever get a whiff of it. So, the conspiracies we bandy about on the internet are probably not real. The real conspiracies will never see the light of day, I reckon.

  14. Xup: We didn’t get enough hugs as children we can’t help it. And to think we take more anti-depressents than any other country…you think our asses would be all happy and loving and stuff.

  15. @Mike

    Don’t you realize?

    If it’s hotter than usual, it’s Global Warming due to our increased CO2 emissions.

    If it’s cooler than usual, it’s because Global Warming will cause local instabilities in the weather. Some parts might feel colder, but others will get hotter.

    Either way, you can’t lose with Global Warming. The House always wins.

    Never mind David Suzuki, though.

    What does OPRAH have to say about it?

  16. @XUP

    What’s David Suzuki’s expertise in Climate Change, by the way?

    His PhD was in the 1970’s. On Fruit-Fly genetics.

  17. I’ve heard about that NAU thing. I guess the new visa and border restrictions is all a coverup for that ‘let’s all play together and be as one’ idea.

    ‘Plastic coffins’? That’s not very environmentally sound.

  18. Pinklea – Welcome back! (And PS: there is no such thing as coincidence!!)

    Cedar – You’re a nation of contradictions. An enigma wrapped in a Xanax with a bourbon chaser followed by a little slap and tickle in the White House men’s room.

    Friar – I think Suzuki has done some supplementary reading since the fruit flies. He’s got 22 honourary degrees in environmental stuff and he sounds very convincing—except for those TV ads. Oprah on the other hand… if you don’t look directly at her she can’t influence you. It’s got to do with hypnotism and mirrors.

    Violetsky – They’re actually grave liners/vaults. They’re meant to last forever…which is why, I guess it’s okay to leave them by the side of the road all this time. 500,000 of the things…just by the side of the road…imagine.

  19. Um, what?
    Why are you suddenly writing about this on the 10th anniversary of Prince’s “Party like its 1999”?
    Are you aware that on this same day the volume of the Aswan resevoir decreased by 1999 gigalitres?
    And that caused a Saudi securities trader to cut his investment in Canadian waste management hedge funds by exactly 19.99%
    And brought about a run on the waste industry’s stocks?
    And this caused the municipal strike in Toronto.
    Which triggered a major domestic spat in Etobicoke.
    And the wife in this spat has a sister on my street.
    She got drunk after talking to her sister cuz she had been on the phone with her constantly for the past 6 months.
    And she drove her car past my house at 4 am this morning, blasting “When doves fly” on her mega stereo system.
    Which woke me up.
    And I cut my head when shaving due to the lack of sleep.
    So.
    Prince slashed my scalp.
    Where’s Fox News?

  20. That the whole virus was created in a lab for some germ warfare thing or something

    You’d think if they created AIDS for germ warfare, they’d have seen to it that it would be much quicker. Germ warfare that takes years to kill you isn’t much use. But what do I know, I’m not a conspiracy theorist.

  21. I was trying to remember who Friar and Mike remind me of and then it came to me. The tobacco industry flaks that for years said all the science is wrong, all those deaths are just a coincidence, trust us we know better. In fact they reached a consensus that smoking wasn’t bad for you.
    Lets just say that all the smog, deforestation, desertification, and general pollution is only half as bad as the alarmists claim, It might still be a good idea to slow it down and reverse it instead of pretending it isn’t a problem.
    Gee Mike made his living in, as George would say, the nucular industry. I bet its safe for little children and all the world as well.

  22. Lets just say that all the smog, deforestation, desertification, and general pollution is only half as bad as the alarmists claim, It might still be a good idea to slow it down and reverse it instead of pretending it isn’t a problem.

    I agree with that statement. What I don’t agree with is the idea that CO2 is a pollutant.

    Gee Mike made his living in, as George would say, the nucular (nuclear) industry. I bet its safe for little children and all the world as well.

    I highly recommend nuclear power, but then, what do I know? (The blue Cherekov glow is quite cool when you turn out the lights.)

  23. Woo hoo! The world would be way more fun (I’m guessing) if some of these things were true.

    Okay, not the germ warfare thing. Or 911. Or deliberately infecting people. Or people getting murdered/assassinated. So basically, just the Roswell/alien thing. The world would be way more fun if the government was hiding aliens and alien-related paraphernalia.

  24. I do think companies and countries take advantage of bad times but never bought into conspiracies. My son thinks Bush was behind 9/11. God, I hope not.

  25. Trashee – Wow, talk about ripple effect.

    Jazz – Ah, but that’s what they WANT you to think!! It would be too obvious if it killed right away. OR maybe they expected it to kill a lot faster than it did. In any case it was a major SNAFU all around.

    Bandobras/Mike – I’m going to let you guys duke this one out. On the one hand I know the media blows everything way out of proportion and likes to be alarmist about stuff and they’ll always present the point of view that sounds the most dramatic and that’s where most of my information on this subject comes from; on the other hand, I can see with my very own eyes that we are quickly messing up everything – air, potable water, soil, oceans, ourselves. I certainly don’t think we can afford to just say, “meh, nature will take care of itself” and just be pigs.

    Jobthingy – Really? How is that possible? Interesting though in light of the anniversary and anticipation of the conspiracy people coming out of the wood work again.

    LoLa – I shall expect to hear all about it on your blog.

    Lesley – It would be even more fun if the government actually WERE aliens, don’t you think? Because I think if aliens manage to get all the way to earth when we haven’t managed to even discover that there’s other life in the universe, then the aliens have to be much, much smarter than us and they wouldn’t allow themselves to be captured and held prisoner by the likes of Washington suits. No, no, they would have taken over their bodies long ago. But then again, they wouldn’t be doing all the retarded stuff they appear to be doing…UNLESS… this is their way of destroying the earth??? Hey, I think we’re onto a whole new conspiracy!!

    Linda – I think you’re right about certain groups taking advantage of situations — and maybe even creating “bad time” artificially in order to take advantage of them. People do that to each other all the time on a personal level; why can’t the same principle be true on a grander scale. right? And yes, it would be diabolical if the US government was behind 9/11

  26. Thanks for this post, by the way. It reminded me of the movie “Capricorn One” from 1978. Haven’t watched it in ages so I went and rented it. Awesome 70s conspiracy action at its best.

  27. I had an opinion but by the time I got through all these comments I forgot what it was. I actually forgot what the story was. And I’ve lost time! I think I might be an alien abductee.

  28. One problem with conspiracy theories is that they tend to get lumped together with all the rest of the crazy stuff and are therefore minimized by the reader saying oh, it’s just another one of those crazy conspiracy theories.

    In fact, those conspiracies are called just that because people don’t care to look behind the curtain for themselves, some are afraid of what they might learn while others are just too apathetic. Stop lumping these issues with alien abduction and thing to absurd to discuss in a rational manner.

    Once a shread of evidence is uncovered in a conspiracy it becomes a probability not a conspiracy theory which is baseless speculation and not to be confused with conspiracy probability or conspiracy fact after such evidence is beyond a reasonable doubt.

    Most of what was said in this article is indeed true, with the moon controversy being a toss up for me but really it holds little importance compared to the issues here on earth which is where people need to ground themselves I think and solve these issues first.

    Most of what was said in this article can be verified through government papers and whistle blowers working inside the conspiracy as well as the criminals own books and white papers. Libarary of congress is another great source.

    Or maybe you can conspire to be just one of those people who believes in absoluely nothing, a pure atheist of life which to me gives no meaning to life and everybody is here for a reason what ever that may be. It’s sad, when all they need is a reason to believe!

  29. Louise – You’re welcome

    Charlene – That would explain so much.

    WTE – Good point about not calling everything a “conspiracy theory” which discredits it right off the bat. But I never said I totally disbelieve all of this. In fact, if you will notice as you read through the comments that I say many times that I don’t rule out anything. I totally believe that there are people with lots of money and power who are doing all sorts of diabolical things behind the scenes. I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if it turned out that 9/11 was engineered or that the moon landing was faked or any of the other stuff, including the aliens (why shouldn’t there be other life in the universe aside from ours?) So, okay, I was having a little fun with this stuff. There are plenty of people taking it all very seriously, churning out evidence pro and con. I don’t have the expertise to decide who’s right and who’s wrong, so I just pose the question and see what people think. I am, if nothing else, open minded about almost every topic. I can be swayed, but not very often locked into an opinion. Thanks for visiting the blog and for the comment!