As you know, I don’t have cable, so I’m not really up on most of the celebrity doings; bit I hear “things”.
This week for instance, most of the blogworld has been talking about Jon and Kate and their trainwreck of a life (with Kate as engine driver, Jon as cabin boy and the passel of kids screaming as the wheels grind them into the tracks).
Coincidentally, today marks the 75th anniversary of the birth of the Dionne quintuplets. Born near Callander Ontario Canada, they were the first quintuplets ever to survive infancy.
So, (and see if this sounds sort of familiar), they were made wards of the King at four months old. They were put on display in a special hospital called “Quintland”and marketed as an amazing tourist attraction.
The Province of Ontario and the parents made a killing off these kids with everything from product endorsements to Hollywood movies. The kids, of course, grew to be totally fucked-up adults and eventually settled a law-suit against the Canadian government. They’ve also written warnings to several parents of multiple birth children about the long-term effects of exploiting your kids for fame and fortune.
In other Celebrity Freakshow news:
- Susan Boyle. Okay she can sing. But she’s not flavour-of-the-month because of any exceptional talent. She’s a star because she’s a frumpy, middle-aged woman and the world is amazed that she actually has something going for her. We’re at the point now where we can’t believe anyone who isn’t Hollywood glam could possibly have any talent. The audience and judges of Britain’s Got Talent all sniggered when Susan Boyle first got on the stage because she looked so old and worthless. And then, holy crap – she didn’t suck. Now we’re all excited by this bizarre phenomenon. I hope Susan Boyle is smart enough to understand exactly what’s going on and exactly how short the attention span of her current legions of fans is.
- Kanye West on the other hand just won’t go away. Here’s a guy whose mother was a university professor of English and whose dad was one of the first black photo-journalists and a former member of the Black Panthers – and offspring Kanye doesn’t seem to have two. IQ points to rub together. He’s bragged how he doesn’t read books and doesn’t “respect” books, BUT (are you sitting down) he’s written a book: Thank You And You’re Welcome. Clicking the title will bring you to his blog where he very kindly has posted some sample pages of this 52-page blockbuster. Many of the pages are just blank; the others offer pithy blurbs on his philosophy of life, like:
Get use to getting used! To most people, the saying “to use someone,” carries a negative connotation. But, I don’t see it that way. To “mis”, “over”, or “ab” use someone is negative. To use is necessary. And if you can’t be used, then you’re useless.
- Mel Gibson. Braveheart. Dude — what the hell happened to you? You used to be so hot. You used to be so cool. Now you’re drunk and a racist. You ditched your wife and mother of your SEVEN kids and took up with some bimbo half your age, knocked her up and watched her dump your sorry ass. What do you pay in child support?
- Demi Moore. She’s freakishly attractive and firm for almost 50 and keeps claiming she’s had no surgical enhancements whatsoever. Okaaaay. Let’s accept that she’s externally ageless. Internally, she’s going fast though. First, she married Ashton Kutcher, which in itself shows some sort of early-onset dementia. Now the two of them are the undisputed royalty of Twitter addicts everywhere. They post each and every second of their lives, complete with pictures. Here’s the latest — Demi at the dentist without her front tooth.
And, oh ya – she recently won a lawsuit against Australian Pacific Magazines for publishing unauthorized photos of her.