Our Big Fat Warm Sunny Weekend


I don’t know about where you all live, but here in the eastern Ontario area people have been talking about nothing but the fabulous weekend we’re supposed to have.

 All week “they” have  been promising a sunny Friday with temperatures at 21 (70 F), followed by a hot, hot Saturday with temperatures around 29 (84 F)with a humidex over 30 and Sunday was going to be 27ish (80ish F) – sunny with cloudy periods.

You can imagine the excitement. Plans were concocted. Preparations were made. Life was looking pretty good.

While in other parts of the world responsible families have an Emergency Preparedness Home Emergency Kit  in case of prolonged storms, power failures, tornadoes, hurricanes, floods, earthquakes, and other acts of environmental revenge, in this part of the world, we all have a Warm Sunny Weekend Preparedness Kit. (WSWPK) and Warm Sunny Weekend Preparedness Plan.

The kit includes:

  • A cooler, cases of beer, several bags of ice, bottle openers, bottles of wine, a corkscrew, bottles of vodka, bottles of tequila and gin, cash to buy more beverages, a flashlight in case it gets dark and you can’t find the corkscrew, a change of clothing in case you spill some drinks, toilet paper, salty snacks and olives.

 The plan involves:

  • Booking Monday off work (for recovery);
  • Sending the kids to grandma’s for the weekend. We can’t enjoy a perfect weekend with kids underfoot;
  • Running to Wal-Mart and buy some shorts and tank tops because nothing we wore last summer is going to fit us right now. Guaranteed; and,
  • Since we want to spend the whole weekend out on the deck basking in the sun and drinking, we’re certainly not cooking. So we:
    • Call around and invite groups of friends over for each night of the weekend;
    • Tell them it’s a barbeque party and tell them to bring food;
    • Make sure to invite the guy who thinks he knows more about barbequing than anyone alive so that he can do all the cooking;
    • Make sure to invite at least one over-achiever because they’ll insist on cleaning up and doing dishes before they go home.

Of course, we rarely get to put the plan into action.

Take this weekend for example.

It’s Friday morning and the sky is cloudy and the temperature is ZERO (32 F)! Saturday is now forecast for 60% chance of RAIN and maybe 27 degrees. And Sunday is forecast for showers (which are totally different from rain, apparently) and 12 (53 F) freakin’ degrees.

Could they have been more wrong? How do these people keep their jobs? Why do meteorologists even exist?  We might as well use psychics.

It’s not like weather is something new  whose mysterious depths are completely unknowable. Old timey farmers had their fingers firmly on the pulse of mother nature and knew exactly how the weather was going to play out.  We have technology!  We’ve had weather forever. It’s out there all day and all night every single day. Why is it so difficult to figure out what’s going to be happening out there for the next few days?

If you don’t know what you’re doing then say so. Don’t get us all excited all week about a gorgeous weekend and then yank the rug out from under us at the last minute. It’s cruel.

We hate you. sad-face1


39 responses to “Our Big Fat Warm Sunny Weekend

  1. Blame it on global warming. 😉

    That’s the cause of every bad thing that happens with the weather…, and of course the climate predictions for the rest of the century are much more accurate than the ten day weather outlook.

    How could it not be? 😉

    I won’t brag about our weekend weather as it won’t be long before I’ll be complaining about how darn hot it is, unless we can escape to some place cooler.

    I really hope you have many nice weekends before it starts to get cold again!

  2. In a magical place called Tennessee it’s sunny and 80 degress with low humidity. Come see this magical place where winters ends in March some time. You’d love it.

  3. Could they have been more wrong? How do these people keep their jobs? Why do meteorologists even exist? We might as well use psychics.

    First off I think I can see the problem. Why use space scientists who study meteors to try and determine the weather.
    Psychics might be better scientists but they just study how your psychic works. I think we should start using weatherologists to do what they were trained for.

    Secondly, in this economic climate you should be happy they get to keep their jobs. The norm is to give them multimillion dollar golden parachutes and then Tony Clement runs around demanding everyone else to renegotiate their benefits in order to pay for the screw-ups.

  4. I’m going back after the Devil’s Snare/mutant raspberry this weekend. Whether I’m in shorts/tanktop or mukluks/sou’wester makes no nevermind. That plant is going down.

    And I’m out of propane 😦 so no barbecuing for me…

  5. Mike – Yes, that IS interesting. How do they know how things are going to play out for the next 90 years, but not for the next couple of days?

    Dr. Monkey – Don’t people marry their siblings down there, (as long as they’re of opposite sexes)? And tote guns and eat rodent entrails? The lack of sunshine gives us odd stereotypical ideas about southern folk…. I’m seriously considering moving somewhere magical like Tennessee, actually.

    Trashee – Well, your second opinion is dead wrong. We just forced ourselves to sit on a patio and have lunch. It took a lot of will power and imagination, but we did it.

    LGS – OKAY! The damn rain keeps extinguishing the grill out, though. What should I do?

    Meanie – I’m soooo sorry. I wish I could at least say they might be wrong, but when crappy weather is forecast, they always seem to be right. They just never seem to be right about good weather.

    Bandobras – Ya, I can see how the meteor study thing could totally screw up weather forecasting. I never thought of that. Also, I love all statements that start with “in this economic climate”. Thanks for contributing one to this blog.

    Alison – You obviously haven’t got a WSWPK or WSWPP. You should attend to that. You never know. It could happen – even here.

    Loth – Yay!!! Dedicated blog posts. I’m absolutely certain that you know EXACTLY how we feel. And I’m sure you totally understand what I said to Trashee about us having our lunch at on a pub patio today despite the fact that it was only 11 degrees (51) because, dammit, it was above freezing and there was some sun and because, dammit, they freakin’ promised us a nice Friday and we’d been soooooo looking forward to Friday lunch and a drink on a patio.

  6. I take offense to your comment to Dr. Monkey about us southerners marrying our siblings. We do date first and almost never keep it in the immediate family. We’re not animals. Plus, everyone gets to keep their own last name and the in-laws already get along. Not to mention the amount we save by holding weddings and family reunions on the same day.

    Sunny and 82 here (Atlanta.) I think the cuz/wife and I are going to roast up a pig, crank up some Clint Black and have a picnic on our rebel flag.

  7. I only hate them because they’re still forecasting temperatures in the 20s at all. I get unhappy when it climbs above 15 degrees, and I’m not a patio/BBQ/cottage/hang-out-outside-just-because kind of gal. My WSWPK consists of industrial-strength fans (wish I had an A/C) and pictures of snow.

    Whatever happened to Spring? It used to be so much longer, back in the day.

  8. So long as its above 10C I will be sitting out front of a cafe all weekend hanging out with a bunch of guys with broken noses and criminal records drinking espresso and cognac.

  9. With all this high fallutin’ satelite imagery and weather science, they dont’ seem to be any better at predicting the weather than they were back in the 70’s.

    Oh well. Saturday, warm and cloudy with risk of showers…that’s good for FISHIN’.

    But Sunday. Ugh. 12C?

  10. I’m sorry your weather took a different turn than expected. Here people always want rain because it is so dry and when they predict rain and we don’t get it, the weatherfolks make a big point of showing us on their fancy charts that the rain was in fact heading here, but took a different turn. So your nice weather decided at the last moment to go somewhere else. Like our rain always does.

  11. Hey, they just moved the thunderstorm warning to overnight instead of tomorrow. And all my daffs, which were tight buds this morning, are either blooming or big, yellow almost blooms.
    Have a little optimism. Break out the beer. AAAh.

  12. Mayopie – You married your cousin? That must be difficult. Are the two of you ostracized for marrying outside the immediate family? How do you create a harmonious life coming from two such different cultures? Do people spit on you on street corners? You’re very brave.

    Louise – Why did you ever leave the Maritimes? Sounds like the weather there would be perfect for you.

    Alison – Please read the blog post. All is explained in paragraph #4.

    Lebowski – Hey! That’s exactly what I’m going to be doing, too!! Maybe I’ll see you there.

    Friar – Exactly. We can send a man to the moon, but we can’t figure out within 20 degrees of accuracy what the temperature is going to be later on in the day. Sheesh.

    Geewits – AH -HA!! Now I know where your rain is going and where our nice weather is going.

    Mary G- Tuesday? Oh no…I’m not falling for that one again. I’m sure sooner or later the weather will be warm enough for shorts so I reckon as long as they keep forecasting it they’ll be right eventually. But warm weather in the middle of the work week is really pointless.

  13. its 544pm right now and i am looking at the weather and tomorrow will be 25°C with 0% POP and sunny.. get the WSWPK back out hun.. its SO on!!!!

    i am going to a BBQ tonight in fact.. but *I* am not the overacheiver nor am i the BBQ queen.. i am the one that sits pretty and drinks beer.

  14. So far as southerners marrying relatives, I’m not from the south, but a lot of my ancestors migrated over several generations through the south. One of them, Moses Shinn, married Mary Shinn, his first cousin.

    That makes my sister and I fifth cousins and my kids are my fifth cousins, once removed. And, of course, I’m my own fifth cousin.

    The marrying of relatives was more common in isolated communities where few people moved into the area. When there aren’t any other options…

    Moses and Sam lived in a relatively remote valley of West Virginia before the Civil War when it was still part of the great southern state of Virginia.

  15. My apologies. I did read the post, but lack of sunlight on my pasty white skin has caused vitamin D deficiency, and we all know that causes short-term memory loss.

    Now what was I saying?

  16. Stupid jetstream…
    Not like I was going to be able to appreciate it – Dance weekend for us, so I’ll be inside all weekend listening to the same 6 songs over and over and over…waiting for my girls to get on stage!
    I love how your survival kit was 90% alcohol!

  17. My roommate’s weather application on her desktop got the weather wrong EVER. SINGLE. DAY. OF. THE. YEAR. To the point where it would be raining outside and her forecast said bright and sunny. Then we realized it was set to Halifax, UK. So, you know.

    Predicting the weather really is like predicting the future, isn’t it? I don’t blame the weather man for unpredictable weather. After all, forecasting the weather takes more skill than I possess, so I feel bad about judging them.

  18. Thanks for converting the temps for us. I love the end of this post. It’s hot as fire here. We had to carry Judge back from his walk. Punk was not affected, of course. He would live through being run over by a car.

  19. yes. one of the big mysteries of life. why are there meteriologists, and how the heck do they manage to not do their jobs AND still keep their jobs. perhaps mr. harper could shed some light on this one.

  20. Interview Request

    Hello Dear and Respected,
    I hope you are fine and carrying on the great work you have been doing for the Internet surfers. I am Ghazala Khan from The Pakistani Spectator (TPS), We at TPS throw a candid look on everything happening in and for Pakistan in the world. We are trying to contribute our humble share in the webosphere. Our aim is to foster peace, progress and harmony with passion.

    We at TPS are carrying out a new series of interviews with the notable passionate bloggers, writers, and webmasters. In that regard, we would like to interview you, if you don’t mind. Please send us your approval for your interview at my email address “ghazala.khi at gmail.com”, so that I could send you the Interview questions. We would be extremely grateful.


    Ghazala Khan
    The Pakistani Spectator

  21. Jobthingy – Ya, Saturday sure was nice — until the TORNADO that is…

    Mike – Charming. Actually I understand it’s not illegal in most places to marry your first cousin

    Alison – Do we know each other?

    Ian – Feel free to crack open the survival kit. I think you’re going to need it for weekends like this.

    Mrawzors – I don’t understand how any weather forcast for Halifax UK or Halifax NS could be bright and sunny. That’s not even plausible.

    Lola – I feel sorry for you people who live in heat all the time. Where do you go on vacations for instances? We, in the frozen north get relief by going to nice hot places like…oh…Mexico… but that would just be crazy when you live in hot all the time anyway, right?

    Friar – More evidence that maybe they never actually sent anyone to the moon!!

    Raino – Harper…ha ha ha…good one.

    Ghazala – Does this interview include a round trip ticket to Pakistan because if it’s all the same to you, maybe we could meet halfway, like say.. Paris. Send me a plane ticket, book me a week at Le Bristol and let me know where to send my expense claims. This could be fun!

    MisssyM – Did you get to stay at Le Bristol, too?

  22. It was 93 degrees here Saturday and my son had a little league game. Mama was NOT happy. Maybe I’ll come visit you so I can cool off a bit.

  23. I was planning on gardening Sunday but it poured all day. Wind is predicted for today and they are almost never wrong about that. I hate being out in the wind but my yard is in dire shape.

  24. MisssyM – Ah bon!!

    Lola – Hasta la vista, baby!

    Charlene – Couldn’t you have gotten him into hockey instead ?

    Linda – They’re never wrong about the bad weather –just the good weather. Also, I think the wild, untamed looks is very “in” for gardens these days.

  25. Wow, they actually include the weather forecasts in the Non-fiction section of your Newscast? They’re in the Fiction section of ours, usually filed under the tags whimsy, dreams, or just-for-fun.


    We typically get days and days of 70s and then a blizzard, followed by a day or two of 50s and 60s, before it gets back up into the 70s for a few days, which is followed by more “spring snow.”

    I would complain, but it gives me some good fodder for the blog.

    I do hope you get to use your Emergency Pack soon!!

  26. CP – The beauty of the Emergency Kit is that you can dip into it any time. It’s so much fun to replenish!

    Nicole – It came, it went, it came back, it went again.

  27. We’re camped in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park and we’ve been dealing with rain since last Friday when we left home. Supposed to have heavy stuff tomorrow.

    Darned weather! (Sure is green here, though)