Harper Has A Man Crush

I swear on my cat’s murmuring heart that none of the following have been Photoshopped in any way. They are actual photos taken by Canadian Press photographer, Adrian Wyld

JAMAICA-PLANE/HOSTAGES

Jamaican Prime Minister Bruce Golding is the first living creature – man or beast – to have ever been able to paste such a besotted gaze onto the face of our Prime Minister. He looks positively human, doesn’t he? He even tried to copy Bruce’s outfit. How cute is that?

Canada Jamaica Airplane Hijacked

Uh-oh! It looks like Bruce thinks Harper is stinky. And Steve doesn’t know because it looks like he’s about to move in for a little smooch!!  This could mean a big circuit heart break for poor Steve.

Canada Jamaica Airplane Hijacked

Don’t let go, Steve!! Don’t let him get away.  I know rejection hurts, but you’re a never-say-die kind of guy.  He’ll learn to love you like we all did. Really he will.

Wow! If  Stephen Harper falls in love and becomes a Real Boy, think what this could mean for the country!

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29 responses to “Harper Has A Man Crush

  1. lol i love the matching outfits.. subtle that he chose one shade darker you know to make it ‘by accident’

    he has love in his eyes for sure

  2. Because he also has feelings! Don’t you see Ignatieff?

    That last pic… you can create a few captions with it “Kiss me, man! Don’t be shy!”, “I don’t know Stephen… I’m so shy…”

    Have a great day!

  3. But if Stevie finds his true love there in rastaland I have 2 questions.
    1/ What will happen to the doctor who built him?
    2/ How long should I wait before I try hitting on his domestic partner unit.

  4. Woodsy – Me too! I don’t think a fattie could loosen Stephen up any more than this, I’ve never seen him look so loose and warm and cuddly – even when he was trying really hard during the blue sweater-vest days. The other guy probably could do with some heavier drugs though.

    Jobthingy – Isn’t all just soooooo adorable?

    LGS – No neither of them would have fallen so hard for a foreign dignitary, I think. You know what they say, “the more robotic they are, the harder they fall”

    Guillermo – I’m as surprised as anyone that the Harperbot has built-in feelings. I hope there’s a wedding!!

    Bandobras – 1) I think the doctor will become world famous because it will be the first ever ‘bot with romantic inclinations, and 2) I wouldn’t bother. I think she’s a real human.

    Dr. Monkey – Don’t they? If you have some time on your hands, go check any previous photo of Harper you can find and you will see only blankness on his face and in his eyes. These are the first-ever photos of him actually looking human and human full of love, yet. I hope the photographer wins a Pulitzer or something for these.

    Ian – I know! He’s sooooo crushing on the dude. Can’t keep his eyes or his hands off him.

  5. I think you’re misreading the pictures entirely. He’s just executing program #445D3-4X3. It’s supposed to mimic human compassion but the settings are clearly a little off, leading to what you see here. He needs to be restored to factory specs.

  6. Wow! maybe – contrary to what my 5 year old says – Stevie ain’t a robot!
    Yet – didn’t that child robot in that movie… AI (?) uh, cry and love and stuff too? And who can forget Terminator 2?
    Harper the robot may be v.8.01 or something… the REALLY advanced machines!

  7. You know what they say, “Once you go Jamaican Prime Minister…” Sorry to use an overused cliche’, but sometimes it just fits.

  8. Pingback: Breaking news! Stevie may have emotions! | Trashy's World

  9. AS I see it it is the love of all Canadians for our leaders that has freed Harper’s CPU to react this way.
    From shaking hands as he sends his spawn off to school, to the sweater made of dyed cat fur, to a look that’s almost human the transformation continues.
    No telling what breakthrough there might be if he ever gets a majority.

  10. Louise – Aw, don’t say that. Now I’m sad. I had such high hopes.

    Trashee – I guess anything’s possible. But it HAS to be a good thing doesn’t it? That he’s feeling; and so deeply, too?

    Mayopie – I have my fingers crossed that this will work out. JPM seems awfully reluctant, but Steve’s middle name is perseverance, right or he wouldn’t still be clinging to that job of his.

    Bandobras – Spring is in the air! I’m thinking they’ll go to live in Jamaica because Bruce just has this new job and everyone seems to like him down there and Steve’s job is kind of iffy these days, so he’ll stay home and be a kept man.

  11. Glad I wasn’t the only one who was disturbed when these photos came out in the papers. What’s particularly funny is when you compare them with photos of ol’ Stevie boy with the Queen of England.

  12. As one who has been home from Jamaica for about 3 1/2 days, I can tell you that Brucie would have said “No problem, mon” if Stevie Robotboy had really asked him for a smooch or whatever. It would have been irie, as the Jamaicans say.

  13. Hannah – I haven’t done a comparison. Does he not look like he loves the Queen?

    Bob – Who knew you could go totally native in such a short time!

    Friar – Reacted to Bruce the same way or reacted as Bruce did to Steve?

    Geewits – Me too! But the interesting thing here is that is wasn’t just one off-guard moment. Every picture he’s in with Bruce he looks like he’s in love.

    Aggie – Isn’t it wonderful? We should throw them a shower or something. Showers are still “in” aren’t they?

    Jazz – Really? I think it’s lovely. He was much scarier before when he seemed unable to exhibit any human emotions, dontcha think?

    Chris – If you ever get to Ottawa you’ll be able to see them strolling hand in hand through parks and sipping cocktails at romantic little places on the Rideau

  14. But, your prime minister is at least cute. In this part of the world one needs to be 80 and have lots of wrinkles 2 reach anywhere near the chair

  15. Ellie – Not so young, but definitely love.

    Lost – OMG! CUTE?????? Are you insane? Blech, blech, blech. I’m scrubbing my tongue and my eyes with bleach at the thought of someone thinking Harper’s cute. EEEwwwwwww. Yuck. Yuck. Ewwwwww. Blech. Blech. Blech Shudder. Wince. BlahhhhhhccccchhhhhhHHH. Holy jumpin’!!! I may never recover.

  16. Lost – stop using that word in relation to you-know-who.

    Mrawzors – Exactly!

    Leah – I’m sure they had a nice candlelight dinner that night, followed by a long walk on the beach