Forever Young

You’ve no doubt seen the Pepsi TV ads where some late 30s/early 40s person is stopped by a faceless narrator and asked: “I see you’re drinking Diet Pepsi. Is there anything else youthful you’d like to experience?” The person thinks for a second and comes up with something from their youth that they’d like to do again.

One woman wants to experience make-out sessions again. One guy wants to have the fun of sleep-overs with his friends again. One guy misses recess. One guy misses his 1980s hair. Someone else wants their old car back.

Then they show the old guy/gal at their current age doing the stuff they think they miss about their youth. Of course it’s not quite as much fun as they remembered it — making out with your husband at a gown-up dinner party  doesn’t seem to be as much fun as making out with some cute senior at the dance apparantly. Getting a wedgie at recess as a grown man doesn’t have the same thrill attached to it either, according to Pepsi.


The moral of the story is that the only thing youthful left for us to do is to drink Diet Pepsi.

Is reality really that sad?

I miss stuff from my youth like high school dances and high school and university parties. Parties just aren’t the same when you’re an adult — moderate drinking, helping the hostess wash up, quiet music, lots of talk about work, everyone comes and goes with the same person they’ve been coming and going to parties with for the last 20 years.  Yawn.

I also miss all the energy I had when I was young, not to mention the awesome metabolism.

But other than that I think I’m pretty happy to be done with those years. All that never-ending school work. Living with my parents. Not living with my parents and living in a series of student hovels instead. All that random, meaningless sex…

Some grown-ups like to re-visit their youth every once in a while, by going out to a club and letting the 20-somethings laugh at them; or playing much-loved childhood games with each other; or going wild every so often by drinking too much; or taking a spin on a merry-go-round or even a tilt-a-whirl.

I thought and thought to see if there was anything I do these days to try and make me feel more like a recalcitrant teen or an exuberant child, but I couldn’t think of a thing.

So, either I’ve grown into a hopelessly boring old fart, or, I’ve grown into a recalcitrant, exuberant adult which who never stopped doing recklessly inane things.


27 responses to “Forever Young

  1. 20-somethings are so exuberant and full of energy, because Life hasn’t happened to them yet. Plus it helps to have that energy and metabolism.

    But maybe it’s a GOOD thing that we no longer act like 20-something jackasses. (Especially males)

    Because looking back, I did a lot of STUPID things that came close to winning me a Darwin Award.

    Thank God I outgrew that. You can only push your luck so many times, before it catches up with you. .

    The fact that I’m still here…means I’m doing SOMETHING right.

  2. Thanks to TiVO, I haven’t seen the commercials. That being said, playing with play-doh, dress-up clothes, and coloring books keeps me young these days. 🙂 And, they’re just as much fun as I remember! 🙂

  3. What? Your random sex was meaningless?
    Mine was always a deep life affirming moment of love.
    Every time and no matter who it was with.
    No wonder you don’t want to be 20 again.

  4. I haven’t seen the ad, but it sounds funny. I relive my childhood every year as well as re-visit my teens when I’m at the beach. I have toy warriors (little plastic guys like army men) and I build them a fort in the sand and set up battles. That’s the childhood part, as for the teen part, we throw frisbee on the beach. That’s a lot tougher to do at this age, but still just as fun. As for all my youthful debauchery, I’m SO done with that. The only thing I really miss is going to crazy Halloween parties so I guess I’ll re-visit that when I do Halloween on Bourbon Street this year. Playing dress up never gets old.

  5. Cedar – If I were remotely interested in pursuing a relationship of any kind I might be tempted to do a Seattle road trip, you shameless flatterer.

    Friar – That’s a good point. We did skate very close to the edge during the teen years. It really is a miracle that people survive that decade really. I suspect some sort of an ultra-galactic force field.

    Jobthingy – Oh ya – diet anything is nasty. Pepsi is nasty. Coke is nasty. It’s all nasty … unless you add a shot of something.

    CP – I was actually happy when mine got older so I wouldn’t have to do that play-dough, colouring stuff. I never liked it as a kid and I sure didn’t like it much as a mum.

    Bandobras – What kind of delusional narcotics are you on?

    Geewits – They’re a series of ads and they’re kind of amusing the first couple of times you see them. After that they just get annoying like most ads. And, oh ya – how could I have forgotten Halloween? I used to dress up all the time before we moved to Ottawa. Maybe next year….

  6. Who has the energy anymore????

    When you ARE at a party, do you find yourself glancing at your watch every five minutes, starting about 10 o’clock, hoping that someone will soon go home, so you don’t have to be the first party pooper? And it never fails: As soon as the first person or couple says good night, the whole place empties out within about 15 minutes, bringing you to about 11:20pm.

  7. What I kind-of miss is that constant “everything-is-new-and-exciting-so-let’s-try-it” feeling. Every now and then I still get a whiff of it and then I usually do experience something fun and different, but it’s not as often as I’d like. I do get it a lot with Porsche Guy, though, since we’ve only been together for 7 or 8 years (not enough time to be bored with each other yet!).

  8. Skygirl – Holy crap, girl. You’re not old!! You just feel old right now because you’re exhausted and the years of childrearing seem to stretch on endlessly before you. But it will all be over before you know it and they’ll be off doing their own thing and you’ll have your freedom back and then you’ll feel all spry and young again.

    Cedar – Ya, a roadtrip implies I’d have to drive and that would be a disaster. If I don’t kill myself and several other motorists, I’ll be a basket-case before the end of the second day. I’m a good navigator though so maybe I can talk someone else into driving.

    Alison – Whoa, mamma! You are SO hardcore. The Wisers makes you an adult, but dumping it into Diet Coke makes you very youthful.

    Bob – Ha ha ha – So true. Whatever happened to the days when your guests would just quietly pass out in various corners of your place and then leave some time the next afternoon after eating leftover pizza off your carpet and finishing the dregs of whatever drinks don’t have cigarette butts in them??

    Pinklea – Ya, it’s more like the “been-there-done-that” feeling these days. But that’s my own fault. There are a million things out there I have done and/or been to. I just have to get out and go to/do them. Work is really interfering with my life.

  9. You said:

    I think a lot of us are a little bit of both. As Newsguy Bob points out – who has the energy to “party like it’s 1999” anymore? Three kids and a pretty demanding job drain you by about 9 pm each night. I’m always in bed by 10 pm. Does that make me boring? Well, maybe on that front.

    But – I just got my first tattoo last summer. I roll around on the floor with my youngest kids while they bounce on my back. I have a blog. I try to stay up on the latest stuff. I shave my head and wear a goatee. I laugh A LOT!
    Do these make me as wild and crazy as I was in my 20’s?


    But they certainly do make me FEEL young.

    p.s. – the ad where the guy’s hair is Flock-of-Seagullish…? That was me in ’84!

  10. I admit, being young is pretty awesome – we can drink on Wednesdays and still have enough energy to go to lecture and (hopefully) understand Heidegger. Funnily enough, though, I’ve noticed some serious nostalgia in University: there has been a huge rival of ’90s fads, including (but not limited to) Gameboy games (on the computer and sped up by about 1000%, naturally) and television (think Dragonball Z, Digimon, Pokemon, etc).

    I guess everyone just wants to be a kid again. Maybe it’s just the definition of “kid” that changes.

  11. There’s good and bad points about every age group! The more I think of years a go the more I think true of the saying, “If I knew then, what I know now!”

  12. I’ll let you know on Monday how my regression goes.

    We are celebrating my wife’s 40th B-day all weekend. In-laws are taking the kids Friday-Sunday. Having a blowout party Saturday, complete with sleepover plans for the inner circle of friends.

    All bets are off as to what goes down. I don’t know if we are going to try to recapture our youth or reinvent our present selves.

    The only plan is, it’s all adults, no responsibilities, AND it’s like Vegas…. what happens this weekend at our house, stays there.

  13. Trashee – Ah yes, the tattoos. I know so many people my age seem to be getting tattoos. I guess we’re a the point now where we don’t have to worry anymore what they’re going to look like once we get fat and droopy as we age
    Julia – Bike riding does make you feel a bit like a kid – that or it makes you feel Dutch. It’s a little of both for me.

    Davis – Being old is pretty awesome, too. We no longer give a fuck about Heidegger and no one can make us. It’s very cool though that you’re fully enjoying your youth. And PS: the 1990s are NOT retro.

    Helen – Very true. I sure wouldn’t want to do any of it over again and it’s probably a very good thing that we didn’t know what was to come back when we were young an idealistic and thought we were going to grow up to be all that and a bag of chips.

    Reeky – . Your party sounds awesome. People sleeping over means all bets are off. Is there going to be some spousal swapping going on or just more than the usual amount of substance abuse? I can’t wait to hear the details.

  14. Ah, the good old days. As you know, I’m feeling like an old fart these days. I’m exhausted all the time between work and life. I used to laugh. A lot. Hard enough to almost wet my pants. (But not for no reason! I’m not ready for the looney bin. Yet.) And I would dance in my living room. I’d blast the music and just let go. It was very freeing. Now I just feel self-conscious that the Fed-Ex guy is going to walk up to the front door and laugh his ass off at me. I guess the whole key is having a “Who Cares?” attitude and doing what you want.

  15. Were wedgies ever thrilling?

    The only thing I could miss from back then is holing up in my room with a book and reading for 6 hours straight.

    Not much in University I’d want to relive. Even less in high school (that was hell and then some). All things considered I’d not want to go back to anytime before 30.

    Except maybe for the metabolism. Yep, that I could live with. That and being able to stay up all night and not have to pay for it during the whole next week.

    Other than that, I’m good.

  16. Mo – Ya, it definitely sounds like you need to lighten up. Life gets really, really serious sometimes and that’s when you need to take a step back and get some perspective (and then get naked and laugh your ass off)

    Jazz – I don’t know about the wedgies. Guys seemed to really enjoy giving them to each other so there must have been some sort of homo-erotic thrill associated with them. (I often spend Sundays sitting around reading for hours on end. Isn’t that what Sundays are for?)

  17. I sure hope Trashee’s a dude.

    “Retro” is just a pretentious 21st-century word for nostalgia, and it’s always been around. When we were teenagers in the 1970s (and yes, the world was in colour then, not just black and white), the nostalgia was for the 1950s. We watched Happy Days and Sha-Na-Na on TV, went to the movies to see Grease and American Graffiti, and had Greaser Day once a year at our high school. Our musical one year was Bye-Bye Birdie.

  18. you couldn’t be boring if you tried… you are honestly hilarious. And I never did those “youthful” things in my youth to being with, not to mention that at 26, I might still be in my youth… I think age is probably a state of mind, and immaturity is probably over-rated…

  19. Bob – yes. Trashee’s a dude — a very clever and fun dude. You should read his blog. It’s very news and/or Ottawa oriented. I think you’d like it. Greaser Day – ha ha. I’m going to pretend I don’t know what you’re talking about.

    Noha – You’re so right. There are many ways to enjoy youth and the youthful spirit at any age without being immature and reckless and debauched.

  20. I love the scene you set for parties folks our age attend now. Hilarious! I never realized I/we were so boring until I read it.

    Nothing like a trip down memory lane to remind me of just how much I love my life now. Gone are the awkward days. Bring on the confident, self-assured, girl of today.