Friday Gross-Out

Have you heard the latest pop news? American Idol, Kelly Clarkson pees in the shower!!!! OMG!!!  Not only that,  but she checks out her tissues after blowing her nose to see what’s come out!!!

Why she would discuss this in public and/or why this is newsworthy, I have no idea, but it’s been covered by all the major pop news media. So it must be important.

The other day someone at work told me about a tribe of people somewhere who make it a point to eat the contents of their nasal passages, (particularly when they have a cold) because they believe consuming these viral hotbeds will grant them immunity from future viruses. A completely specious notion, of course since your body will naturally develop immunity to a virus once you’ve been afflicted with it. Unfortunately cold viruses mutate all the time so you’ll never be immune.

I once had a friend who washed and re-used her dental floss. She had strands of it hanging up in her bathroom and offered me one once when I stayed over. She was very thrifty.

There’s a woman at work who I’ve encountered several times in the washroom doing her loud and often smelly business in the next stall. She pulls herself together and then jauntily leaves without washing her hands. Every time. She often offers home-baked goodies around the office.

In the summer it always grosses me out to watch women popping the zits on their boyfriends’ backs while they’re sitting at the beach or in a park. I’m sure these things need to be done, but save it for indoors, please.

Long nails and or people who chew their nails are gag-worthy. Especially when you know the kind of crud that lives under your fingernails – bacteria, viruses, fecal matter, pinworm eggs – little bits and pieces you pick up from everything and everyone you touch.

Farts open up a whole range of weird personal habits. It’s apparently a universal phenomena that people enjoy smelling their own farts. People will stick their heads under their bed covers to get a good whiff. People fart in the bath and enjoy making stinky bubbles. People enjoy farting silently in public and watching the reactions of those close by.

Of course I don’t expect any of you have any gross or weird personal habits, but I’m sure your friends, family members and/or co-workers have some you’d love to share?

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39 responses to “Friday Gross-Out

  1. I used to work in the Toronto office of small software company based in Silicon Valley. The company had a lot of remote employees, mostly coders, who lived various places throughout the US (and other parts of the world) nowhere near an actual office. Many of these people were perfectly normal people when I met them at company events where we all got together. But some…not so much. It was clear some of them had very little interaction with people and were a little rusty on the do’s and don’t’s of proper public behavior.

    The best example was one remote worker who attended some meetings of the development team in Atlanta. Lots of higher-ups in the company were at the meetings…the CTO, VP of Engineering, various managers and other coders. At several points during the meeting the remote guy apparently fell asleep and snored (rather loudly). But that wasn’t the worst part. At one point he actually removed his sandals, took out some nail clippers, and proceeded to trim his toenails in the middle of the meeting. Ewww.

    The not washing hands thing after going to the washroom TOTALLY grosses me out. Oh–I once heard typing from the bathroom stall beside me when I was at work. Some people just CANNOT put down their laptops when they should.

  2. Ech! My friend used to date a guy who refused to wash his hair..ever! She said his dandruff used to come out in large chunks. Barf! 😛

  3. That dental floss thing is not thrifty — it’s just freakin’ CHEAP!

    What gets me is the dude in the next washroom stall doing business on his cellphone while he’s doing his business. Give your head a shake and get a life, Buddy.

  4. I’ve heard of people that loves to remove their ear wax using the pen’s cup.

    And playing with if afterward, making little balls.

    And throwing it away aiming to some imaginary target.

    Puaj!

  5. Rachel thinks a well-timed fart is the very pinnacle of comedy. She greets every one (both her own and those of others) with uproarious laughter.

    Then again, she’s six.

  6. I’m sure I do plenty of weird stuff, but I’m not about to share it here.

    However, there was this real nutjob in an office where I used to work. I never did find out who she was, but the first time I “met” her in the loo, was truly bizarre.

    I go into the stall (the place was empty) and all of a sudden I hear pee. Yet I was completely certain I’d seen no feet (it was a small place, only 3 stalls). Suddenly feet stepped down from the toilet in the next stall. She flushes, she leaves.

    This happened regularly – at least from what several colleagues told me. I myself was in the loo only a couple more times when she was there. It was a bit unnerving actually – especially, how can I put this delicately – when she wasn’t in there to pee. She took hovering to a whole new level.

  7. Mary Lynn – Ah those tech geeks (Hi Elliott). I’ve worked with some of them myself and it’s never dull. Just don’t do lunch meetings with them.

    Hannah – Why would she even date someone like that?

    Bob – Ya, I remember Kitty’s rant on that one –heeelarious

    TTP – Eeeewwwwwwww. Don’t ever borrow their pen or lend them yours! I get grossed out when people chew on their pens or pencils, too, because you never know when you might need to pick up someone’s pen for something or when they “borrow” yours for a while. I love “puaj”… I’m trying to figure out how to pronounce it because I’m going to use it from now on.

    Alison – Farts never seem to lose their humour value. If you’ve ever read ancient literature – Greek, Roman, English – it doesn’t matter, sooner or later you’re going to come across a fart joke or reference. They’ve been funny since the dawn of man. I’ll bet even cave people guffawed at each other’s farts.

    Jazz – Wow – that’s crazy. Was she from some odd culture where they have holes in the floor instead of toilets? Maybe she grew up in some far off rural village where they squatted out in the dirt to do their business? That’s one of the wackiest things I’ve ever heard.

  8. XUP – um… there are lots of non-weird cultures where the restrooms are (porcelain) holes in the floor. Some cultures actually consider it more sanitary than the toilets we’re used to, as you never come into contact with the sanitary fixture.

    Jazz – it took me a while to figure out what you meant by “wasn’t in there to pee”. Ew! Not at the office, please!!!

    – RG>

  9. yeah, all of this stuff is discusting. our office team was off site at a one day business meeting. during the lunch hour we have servers come to our table. the gross thing is that our server had apparently just used the facilities and NOT washed her hands. this is a frequent occurance. i just can’t believe the number of people that do it. i have heard about that tribe that eat their mucus. just gross. funny you should post this – take a look at my post from yesterday for gross!

    http://momofboxer.blogspot.com/2009/03/bubbles-anyone.html

  10. As for farts and their comedic value I can direct your attention to the singe funniest scene in filmdom.
    The farting scene in Blazing saddles.
    If you can watch that and not start laughing report directly to the coroner, you’re dead.

  11. Lynn – Make sure you scrub your nails

    Grouchy –I meant “weird” as in “not what we’re used to”. It does actually seem more sanitary – no germy handles to flush, no seats to catch the herpes from…

    Raino – See, now this is one of these photos that I’m sure your kids won’t thank you for posting. But maybe they think it’s funny. Restaurants are really disgusting when you stop and think about it – all these people handling your food and you don’t know where they’ve been. Those mall kiosks where they take your money and make your food without washing in between? Ewwwww.

    Bandobras – Like I said, fart humour is eternal and universal. I’m not sure why.

  12. everyone has disgusting habits. gross is when people don’t know when to keep things private. zit popping on the beach got me.

    bathroom customs vary a LOT. went to costa rica long ago, had to use the restroom in a decent restaurant. it turned out to be a trough in the floor, which wasn’t a big deal. the big deal was that there was only a 3 1/2 foot tall wall between me urinating and the people eating. I could see them, they could see me (the top half). I so wanted to say, “Hey, there’s a fly in your soup”.

    traveled to france. again in a resturant and had to go. standing next to the urinals was a towel woman watching all the guys very closely. I am assuming she worked there. when in rome, right?

  13. When you fart, you’re not doing any real harm, or spreading germs. All you do is stink up the place.

    And what happens? You get yelled at.

    But if you’re caught in a surprise sneezing fit (before you grab a kleenex), your spreading jillions of droplets of mucus and God knows what all over the place.

    And what happens? People say “Bless you”.

    And what about sick kids? (Who are too small to know how to cover their mouths or blow their nose)

    Mommy takes them out in public…(or you get invited to their house) And they got that wet bubbly cough….you just KNOW you’re going to catch their Ebola. Thanks a LOT!

    And what do people do? They SMILE at the Mom, and say: “Awww…poor sick kid!”

    If you ask me…I’ll take fart gas over mucus ANY DAY.

  14. @Loth

    You have a point about farts.

    It’s like pukey coughing kids…their bodily fluids are totally disgusting, unless you’re Mommy or Daddy, and you don’t mind .

  15. Didn’t Madonna cop to peeing in the shower years ago? I can’t picture doing it myself, but then I can’t even pee in the ocean. Accidental air leakage aside, I also can’t fart outside of the bathroom, and I don’t “get” fart humour. Never have. (Yes, alright, I have bathroom issues.)

    And I don’t believe who says they’ve never, ever looked in a Kleenex to see what the hell kind of monstrosity they just blew out of their nose.

    I’ve already freely admitted my terrible nail-biting habit, though I have to say that I don’t bite visibly dirty nails (as for the invisible stuff, well, frankly the invisible is gross and disgusting no matter what you do — even the air that you breathe is thick with grossities — so I try to just not think about it). I kiss my cat on the lips and occasionally share a spoon of whatever I’m eating with him — I don’t think I’m overly concerned about germs. 😉 (Yes, I know, TMI.)

  16. I bet that gas smelling is primal like looking at your bowel movement. It’s probably some throwback to when we were primitive creatures and used this basic method to self-check for anything unusual. Just guessing. Being a Southern Belle I obviously don’t have any firsthand experience with these sorts of things.

  17. Jobthingy – Or people’s fingers when their nails are chewed right down to the nub

    Reeky – Yes, the Madames PeePee are all over Europe apparently. It certainly keeps the facilities clean and tidy and employs women (and some men) who I guess don’t have a lot of other skills. The Costa Rica facilities though — yuck… I mean can they hear and smell you too while they’re eating??

    Friar – Very good point indeed. We should start a new trend and say “bless you” when someone farts from now on. Although I get pretty grossed out when people sneeze. I usually just say “gesundheit”, but in a very stern, disgusted voice and sometimes add, “for pete’s sake”.

    Loth – HA! And it’s the quiet ones you have to watch out for. Thanks for putting it so succinctly.

    Grouchy – I don’t know, man. It’s just what I read somewhere. Farts should be easing your discomfort, not giving you discomfort. Or are you talking in a psychological sense? I wonder what happens when people like the Queen or Celine Dion fart?

    Bandobras – Clam sauce over pasta?? The analogy has gone way into left field now. Farts are to mucus are to kids and now clam sauce? Or are they pasta? I think I’m lost. And by jiminy, for once it doesn’t matter.

    Laura – It’s probably jet-lag. I assume you finally made it back home safe and sound? And we’ll be hearing you whine about the cold weather along with the rest of us again?

    Louise – Hey, as long as no one else has to use your shower I don’t care if you pee in it, but why the hell advertise it? Is this supposed to make them look down to earth or sexy or something? Yech… Interesting about your bathroom issues. I did a post on bathroom issues once and there were quite a few people who could never use public facilities and saved it all up until they got home at the end of the day.

    Geewits – You ladies of the south are so refined.

  18. I’m in raiiny Dallas for a few days visiting one of my best buddies. I hear it’s warmer at home in Charlotte. I’ll find out tomorrow! Can’t wait to see my dogs! If I’m able to manage another while being this revolted.

  19. Oh, Gawd, XUP, you are a hoot! Yes, people can be disgusting, can’t they? Donald Trump never shakes hands with people, because he says he never knows “where their hand has been”.

    What really disgusts me is people who take their dogs for a walk, pick up the poop in little plastic bags, and then continue walking with the little bag of steaming poop in their hands. Here in Kitsilano, I can’t walk a block without passing several people carrying little bags of steaming poop. Can’t they find the nearest garbage bin and deposit it? What do they do — take it home with them?

  20. i remember getting busted when i was little (6 or 7?) for enjoying “nature’s snack” (my boogers). it traumatized me. now when i catch my youngest doing it i recount my embarassment, hoping to scare her out of doing it, but she doesn’t seem to care. perhaps she is an incarnation of one of these tribe’s people you speak of????

  21. Laura – Boy, you sure get around. Have a safe trip home. Say hi to the pups

    Jo – I think sometimes they just get tired of carrying it and drop it on the sidewalk. I always see lot of plastic bags full of poop laying around, especially in spring when the snow melts. Maybe we need more garbage cans out around the parks and walkways?

    Manie – Oh, is that what “nature’s snack” means? When I see it on one of those wrappers, I always think it means nuts and seeds and raisins and stuff. (Last time I get one of those treats). Hope your little one is super immune to stuff by now.

  22. A voice in my head kept screaming…stop…stop reading, but I couldn’t…I had to read on…and then the comments and again that voice over and over yelling STOP PLEASE FOR GOD SAKES STOP…then I threw up in my mouth a little.

  23. Eww. Coincidentally I was going to write a story myself involving germs and boogers and grocery carts. It’s evolved into something so gross now though, I don’t think it’d be readable.
    And LOL @ Cedar!

  24. Cedar – I’m so sorry your delicate sensibilities were shaken up by this squalid exposure to the baser side of human nature. The title did give fair warning. I hope you won’t be tempted to try any of this at home.

    Charlene – Aw, go on. Throw a little disclaimer at the top and let it rip.

  25. The breaking of wind is a talent.
    I enjoy it now more then ever.
    Guess that’s what getting old is all about.

  26. Earwax – the best method is to unfold a paperclip and use the hook at either end to pull mounds of wax from your ear. The professionals will tell you that this is dangerous, but I like living on the edge.

    Farts – Reminds me of the time that I was daydreaming, forgetting that I was in the drive-thru at Taco Bell. I leisurely passed gas, and then realized I was 2 cars away from getting my food. I quickly rolled down the windows and turned up the fan in order to dissipate the gas. Unfortunately, I was not successful and the cashier gave me a strange look when I drove up.

    Fingernails – Rich, who sits on floor 5 in building 1 of UPS Corporate in Atlanta, regularly clips his nails while at the office. When I worked with him, I would IM him whenever I heard the tell-tale signs of personal grooming, and tell him I was displease with his public grooming.

  27. Wow, I can’t even continue reading through the comments because I feel more and more nauseous with each subsequent anecdote! Yargers!!

    OK, off to wash my hands a few thousand times. *shiver*

  28. Lebowski – I’m glad you’re able to find joy in simple pleasures in your advancing years.

    Brad Brown – As I live and breathe…thank you for sharing these tidbits of yourself and your life. They are, as always, much appreciated. Don’t be a stranger

    CynthiaK – Yes I have some pretty disgusting readers, don’t I? We could probably all benefit from some sort of etiquette lesson. Someone (not me) should do a post.

  29. Just heard something this a.m. on the radio on the way to work that was totally GROSS.

    NASA just sent up a shuttle to the space station. On board was a new piece of equipment. It’s a machine that takes urine and refines it into drinking water.

    So in order be an astronaut, you have to drink your pee.

    Gross?

  30. Reeky – I thought they’d been doing that all along? There’s a similar gizmo you can take along if you’re going to be wandering the wilderness for a while (just in case you run out of fresh water). The ultimate in recycling.

  31. I am SO IN on starting this “bless you” for farts trend. I mean seriously. That is AWESOME.

    Okay. Off the top of my head I’m not aware of any gross habits of those around me. Of course now I am going to watching everyone VERY CLOSELY. (GAAAAAG)

  32. this gave me the giggles in a big way, like a twelve year old boy kind of way 😉

    i agree in that i really do not care that kelly examines her tissues after blowing her nose.

    that co worker makes me want to puke, we had a fellow that did that and then would lick his dang fingers while eating lunch, like up and down licking.

    bowel fumes (aka farting) are the worst while being in an airplane. or talking while eating and grunting at the same time.

  33. Lesley – Ya, how cool is it that we both have fart related posts in the same week?

    Leah – I hate it when people lick their fingers any time. Ewwww