The 6 Most Annoying Things About 30-Somethings

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Since people had so much “fun” with yesterday’s post, I thought it would only be fair if I picked on another age group today: the 30-Somethings.

I used to be one. I work with a couple and I suspect I even read and enjoy blogs written by some. All the aforementioned people I actually know are, of course non-annoying exceptions to the general annoyingness of this age group. So, in the spirit of tit-for-tat, here are the 6 most annoying things about young folk:

  1. They revel in their own perfection. The world is their oyster.  They totally carpe every diem. They’re all that and a bag of Blackberries. They are at their prime physically. They have glossy hair and smooth skin. They don’t need to cross their legs when they sneeze.  Their education is behind them and they’re well into their perfect careers.  And their careers are so damned exciting! They’re blazing career trails no one before them has ever thought to blaze and/or blather on and on about. They’ve assembled a perfect little family; have a perfect house and a couple of perfect cars.  Of course they’re the first humans ever to have accomplished such things, too, so they are rightfully bursting with smug pride and gloating self-importance.
  2. They are obsessively acquisitive. If it weren’t for 30-Somethings the retail and service industries would go bankrupt. They’re earning money and have unlimited credit so they buy everything in sight. And it all has to be the best, the newest, the latest. Their homes are loaded with furniture, clothes, shoes, stuffed animals, electronics, appliances, nannies, gadgets, doo-dads, gee-gaws, and hair care products.
  3. They’re responsible for the mini-van. In the 21st century in North America, as soon as you turn 30, you are obliged to buy a mini-van. It’s some sort of secret status symbol that tells other 30-Somethings you’ve arrived. Your doors slide, you have a DVD player on board, your seats swivel and you can ferry at least 6 people around at will.  This is the ship which everyone for generations has been waiting for to come in.
  4. Babies. This age group is rife with babies and small children. They talk about them incessantly like they’re the first humans ever to have accomplished the miracle of reproduction. Their kids are the most amazing creatures ever to have walked the earth! They say things! They do things! Sometimes they say and do things at the same time. And, the things they do and say are the cutest things ever! “Guess what Dakota did today? She looked at me and said, “gaahhh“. Isn’t that adorable? Here’s the video.”
  5. They think anyone over 40 is hopelessly old and senile. They believe anyone with wrinkles or grey hair is well past it and should be put out to pasture. Oldies shouldn’t be out in public, in the workforce, and they sure shouldn’t be on TV or in movies. Ewww.  Oldies are yucky and just get in the way and hold things up and talk a lot of  gibberish.  30-Somethings do their best to pretend people over 40 don’t exist. They have mastered the art of looking through oldies like they’re invisible and they put their fingers in their ears and say “la-la-la” real loud if  oldies try to talk to them.
  6. They whine. Has there ever been a whinier generation?  Not only are they consistant whiners, they are also multi-forum whiners with the ability to whine in person, on the internet, by cell phone, by text and on TV simultaneously. They whine about their relationships; they whine about their parents; they whine about their kids; they whine about their jobs; and they whine non-stop about money. Nothing is moving fast enough for them. They’re not getting promoted within weeks of starting a new job. Their spouses/partners/lovers aren’t instantly fulfilling them. Their parents are refusing to support them anymore. Their kids aren’t growing up fast enough.  Their flatiron takes too long to heat up. Their money isn’t rolling in fast enough to keep up with their expenses. They need more stuff! They haven’t had a vacation in almost 2 months! They’re, like, super-stressed. O.M.G.!!

Despite it all, I enjoy having 30-Somethings around. They make me laugh and make me feel wise and superior. And that’s something no amount of money can buy.

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48 responses to “The 6 Most Annoying Things About 30-Somethings

  1. The forerunner of the mini-van, the station wagon, was not looked upon as a status symbol.

    As we know only too well, they too shall grow older and wonder what the heck happened.

  2. For the record, I sometimes have to cross my legs when I sneeze… the old pelvic floor isn’t what it used to be.

    In other news, I share way too much on the Internets.

  3. I resemble parts of this – so would like to at least try to defend myself… 😉
    I would like to say that overall, I think this list applies better to those in the ‘lower than 35’ age bracket…

    They revel in their own perfection.
    – I no longer have the perfect career, not that it was anyways… it was exciting at least. But I am working on things, and hell yeah it’s going too slow!!!
    – Sometime around 34, it went downhill physically for me. Back, shoulders, metabolism… I just started growing my hair back after 10 years of shaving it… and it’s not perfect !
    – Perfect house and cars – hardly. I have a 10 year old car (that I love and fix everything myself) and I too wonder how everyone seems to have a new car?!?! My house is sooo far from perfect – and my wife reminds me of that everyday.

    They are obsessively acquisitive
    – The kids get most of the good stuff. If I get a case of beer every once in awhile, I’m ok…
    – We finally broke down and bought the wii after wearing down our ancient PS2.

    They’re responsible for the mini-van
    – I hated that damn thing. But having started a little earlier, we had one in our 20’s…
    – The new 30’s are responsible for the SUV…and the crossover… whatever used to resemble a mini-van, but is no longer to be referred to as a mini-van. that’s marketing death to the car manufacturers!

    Babies
    – So I’ve filled my quota on this one, with 3 great girls, but I was done with that by the time I hit 30. Of course they were youngins throughout my early 30’s, so I’ll take the hit on that one.
    – Yes – other peoples kids can be very annoying…

    They think anyone over 40 is hopelessly old and senile
    – holy crap i hope not… I’m closing in on that fast!
    – I’m looking forward to grey/silver/white hair!!!

    They whine.
    – I suppose. But I do something about it if I do whine…
    – We used to be known as GenX, grunge etc. That was the wo-is-me, angry, self-loathing music genre and yeah I like it!
    – I haven’t had a real vacation in 2 years… kids…

    Another great post XUP.
    Now with your great wisdom, maybe you can prep me for my 40’s ?!?

  4. I think that #5 is stretching it a bit. I’m not in the 30-somethings, but in the 20-somethings and I feel like I’ve learned this year, that a 10-20 age difference between two people mean nothing. My mom is at the same level as me and we’re best friends. She is not old, wrinkly, has gray hair in my eyes. She looks just like me.

    I think that #1 and #2 (especially #2) applies to us 20-somethings. My dad is so surprised that one week A. and I are talking about buying a boat; to a vacation in Las Vegas; to a Avalanche; to buying a pair $90 pants… he thinks it’s crazy. But we can do it. We can afford it. We’re DINKS. So we can do it, as long as it fits within our means.

    You only live once. 🙂

  5. p.s. I agree with Ian, I think this 30-somethings apply more to the 35 and under range…. 35+ are too responsible 😛

    Have a good day

  6. hahahaha!
    i have to admit, when i had grace, i was the first woman to birth and raise a child. gawd, i’m surprised people still talk to me. but, without people like that, how would stores like Milkface, and half the other stores in the glebe/Westboro ever stay in business.

    some 40 year old women actually intimidate me with their smarty pants attitude and aggressive behaviour (at my workplace). i don’t find them old and senile. just scary.

  7. LOL! The post AND the comments made me laugh today. I am 39, so just on the cusp. Some of it’s true, not saying which “some”. Some of it’s not. I drive a red convertible tyvm! I do have perfect hair… albeit only on the bad weather days when the top is up. I do have cool stuff, but the kids usually have it first then I come out of my dino-trance and see how cool it is and get one for myself.

  8. Not that Ian and Aandj both took the time to whine that you weren’t reffering accurately to them. They are probably now repeating this on every form of media known to the world.
    They have rested your case for you. How typical of the 30ers.
    Thankfully I and my generation was never like that.

  9. Becky – I always thought the station wagon was a bit of a status thing. I was always jealous that our family didn’t have one and all my friends’ families did. There was nothing better than laying in the back with your best friend while the little kids had to sit in seats.

    Olivia – I think this is it. The middle-aged aren’t the least bit annoying and teenagers are just scary.

    Nat – Are you already 30-something? It’s that damn child-birthing that messes up your pelvic floor.

    Ian – Why are you protesting so much? Ha ha. And, ha ha again – you have a minivan!! And no vacation in 2 years? That’s inhuman.

    A&J – Hey, today you’re telling me you don’t think of the over 40 crowd as old and that you’re mom is young and cool and yesterday you said (and I quote) #4 – I can see that my mom is slowly getting this. Every time we drive by this building she says “this is were I used to live” or another place “Ooo I used to go to this restaurant and just hang out there with a bottle of coke for hours” Ugh.

    Meanie – Ya, maybe I should be a middle-aged annoying, scary smarty-pants post. I can totally see how we’re insufferable sometimes.

    Charlene – If you can laugh at this, then you’re already past the 30-something annoying stage.

    Bandobras – So far no one is stepping up to defend the 30-somethings, yet lots of people defended the oldies yesterday. I think I could get a government grant to study this further.

    Jobthingy – Phew!

    Kitty – Yes! I remember. I can’t wait to hear all about how you’re ringing in this new decade. And, also I think you’re kind of out of the stereotypical 30-something loop anyhow. I could never picture you in a mini-van

  10. … and I still stand by that. She may do that, but I still love her and think that she is very young at heart. Hell she sometimes like to party later than I do, but then remind me of that night that I went home early, while she stayed out 10 times in a month. You can’t win.

  11. No minivan… HAD! We ditched that when we moved to Germany. We now have the aforementioned SUV…

    Not protesting – just in denial 😉

  12. Ha! They’ll hit their 40s too. Yep. And they’ll crios their legs to sneeze and get grey hair and we’ll see how they deal with it!

    Oh, and even worse than the mini-van is the mini-van with a spoiler. How pathetic is that? No guys, that really doesn’t make your van look sporty. It just makes you look ridiculous.

  13. Another annoying thing about 30-somethings; They let their kids run amok in stores and spoil them rotten. So we get treated to tripping over their brats and listening to them have temper tantrums. Fun!

  14. OOH! I still qualify for this age bracket for about six more weeks! Though in my own defense, as a 30-something year old I am not, nor have I ever been, whiney. I don’t care too much about acquiring tons of things, I’d schlep to work on a horse before I bought a minivan, I have NO BABIES and I don’t think people over 40 are hopelessly old.

    OMG!!! I AM PERFECT!! Reveling, anyone????

  15. This one is brilliant XUP. and what about those 30 somethings who donot have a great career/babies/spouses/fancy vehicles?

  16. A&J – I never doubted for a moment that you love her.

    Ian – OH! An SUV – that’s sooooo much better….

    Jazz – Mini van with a spoiler – har har har.

    Hannah – They’re just expressing themselves.

    Lesley – Well, I DID say that none of this applied to the 30-somethings I know personally

    Lost – There are exceptions to every broad generalization.

    Kitty – You must be an old soul

  17. I agree with everything you say here, except I’m in my 30s (mid-late) and I would associate these annoying things more with 20-somethings.

  18. This makes me feel like I’m in the wrong age-group. I’m 33 and out of all of this all I have is a baby. I have a 20 year-old rusted out hatchback (that I love) and a lacking-in-hot water rental and no career to speak of at this time. I think the Mister and I are a little at odds with everyone else around us though. Our other 30-something friends all seem to have money and careers and houses and no kids (which is probably why they still have money) and think that shopping is a hobby. (Shopping is NOT a hobby – of course, a lot of the 60+ people I know think this too.) Maybe this is why a lot of our new friends are in their 40s and 50s? Also my hair started going grey in high school (thanks, crap genetics).

    I should add that I didn’t mean ALL I have is a baby. I love my daughter and am very grateful to have her. But I know, I know, I’m whining right?

  19. Do people in their 20’s that are fresh out of college starting their careers and telling you how old school you are and how you need to step up to the new ideas of this century.

  20. XUP – you are truly a very, very bad woman 🙂

    That was a great chuckle (you commenters as well!) for a sunny Wednesday.

    I join in waiting for us 40 somethings to be skewered

    Best!

  21. It’s much more fun when you pick on an age group I don’t belong too.

    🙂

    PS- I don’t drive a minivan but I can’t deny the rest.

  22. Hey! I have never ever had glossy hair and perfect skin! And I’m (counts on fingers) almost 42! Where did I go wrong??

  23. Dave – You’re just very mature for your age, that’s all. It’s all that good Portland beer that does it.

    Melanie – Like I told Lost, there are exceptions to all broad generalizations. You’ve either been doing everything right or everything wrong. If you’ve been spending your time and money on enriching your lives through education and travel and cool stuff like that then you’ve done it all right and to hell with the minivan. If you spent high school stoned and therefore were unable to get into any college or university and so are working at McDonald’s, then… ooopsie

    Cedar – I have less than zero interest in doing anyone in their 20s. They’re so boring and twitchy. They’re what we used to be when we were teenagers except not as sassy or interesting. But you seem to have some ideas on the topic so feel free to steal the format… or do a guest post or something.

    Elliot – Do you think I should do us middle-agers? I’ll take it under advisement. We’re probably the most annoying group of all. It could be a very long post.

    Sky Girl – Yay! Finally someone who fesses up to being a stereotype. Bless you.

    Loth – Well, I’d say your bigger problem is having 42 fingers. Nevermind the hair and skin issues.

  24. Well my 30’s were turmoil and all. “yeah I’m married to an engineer with a house and a pool and my minivan” but I was not happy. I left him (#2) when I was 34, struggled along in a cheesy apartment (where I ended up being just feet (meters?) away from gunfire), moved into a bizarre rental house, then a tiny apartment, then finally married the perfect man at 39 and bought the real “dream house” at the age of 40. I guess I sort of missed the whole being in your 30’s thing. I was pretty busy surviving.

  25. MisssyM – I don’t believe I have a choice anymore but to do the middle agers. It seems to be expected. Friday perhaps.

    Geewits – I never expected you to be a stereotype, so I’m not surprised.

    Robin – Sorry for being cryptic.

  26. I told the Mister about this post and he laughed and said that we are definitely not fitting in these days.

    I think it is in the nature of everyone who is older to think that those who are younger than them are stupid and know nothing and vice versa. My favourite story is how we were at a dinner party and this other couple rolled their eyes at us because we (used to) both worked from home in the same room and didn’t fight or get sick of each other – but (according to them) that was because we had only been married for 4 years and not 6 like them. “Just wait until you have been married for 6 years – everything changes them.” Um, yeah. Sure.

  27. I remember the Gen-Y/ Gen-X discussion on here:
    http://www.usatoday.com/money/workplace/2005-11-06-gen-y_x.htm

    I actually match some of your points, though I have no license, no car, therefore no minivan, and definitely no kids. But yes, I keep our economy alive.

    What annoyed me about my age group is the career-mindedness. Is that a word? In any case, it’s the trap I fell into as well. Business trips, overtime, a fancy title, all the money you can spend…

    Then again, I think women are more likely to eventually question this life model. Or have a husband who doesn’t and have kids.

  28. Melanie – Well, good for you for not fitting in if that’s what fitting in is all about. Are you still working from home in the same room?

    Missy – Lots of people are wondering that. I guess I will have no choice.

    Leah – Thanks and sorry for making you gag with my gag.

    Gila – Yes, I think we talked about this in a post just last week, right? The 30-somethings are so giddy about “career”. So gung ho and enthusiastic. And then so disappointed when there’s no quick pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

  29. Sadly, no. His grad school funding got cut off and had to get a jobby-job while trying to finish his PhD thesis, I got pregnant and then my job went up in smoke and we needed the extra room (it’s a 2 bedroom apartment) for the baby. It all works out in the end though. I put myself on a self-imposed maternity leave (ie. no money) which I am now trying to get off of while spending a minimal amount on childcare.

    We really do miss working in the same room.

  30. Timing is everything – just last night on the tube was a ‘best of just for laughs’

    This comedian says,(paraphrase!) yeah I’m 32 – just moved out of my parents place.

    Mainly because my mother is getting to old to cook & clean my stuff………

  31. I do think that there is a 27 – 34 year old tri-life crisis where a lot of people question and therefore some change their career paths!
    Agree that some whining can be had but is mostly done by generation x! The generation that thinks that they deserve everything for nothing!!!
    -those are fighting words aren’t they?!?!? 😉

    Great post!

  32. It is all very confusing:
    “Sandwiched between 80 million baby boomers and 78 million millennials, Generation X — roughly defined as anyone born between 1965 and 1980 — has just 46 million members, making it a dark-horse demographic”
    Source: http://www.time.com/time/arts/article/0,8599,1731528,00.html

    According to the book Boom, Bust & Echo the last real Gen-xers were born in the early 70s but the rest of us seem to get lumped in their too. When I think about it my brother and sister (ages 39 and 42) are GenX and I’m not.

  33. Hey! I didn’t have a chance to comment on this post yesterday, because I was busy celebrating my own transition into a new age-bracket!

    35! Woo hoo!

    Anyway, as with generalities, your list describes some, but not all. Fortunately, we (and most of our friends) are the exception and not the rule.

    But, for the record, we ARE exceptional AND we rule, thanks for noticing. 😉 Ha!

  34. Melanie – Oh well, if there are only 46 million of them, we don’t have to worry too much.

    CP – Right on, baby!! Welcome to the new age bracket. You’ll find it to be pretty much just like the last age bracket. And I did mention from the outset that everyone I knew was an exception to this post.

  35. Helen – Hmmm. That’s a big age range. People born in the early 1960s are also still considered boomers. Can they be both?

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  37. Wow. Someone is jealous of Generation X AND Generation Y! I am a 35-year-old (though I look 25) mom of twin toddler boys and I would say that I am INSULTED after reading this but your ignorance is entirely too immense. Allow me to elaborate…

    1. Perfection? HA!!!! I do not own a Blackberry or a mini-van and while I DO have a College Degree and nice hair and skin, I CHOSE to live a life of MODERATION and live within our means……II am a stay at home mom because I will be DAMNED if Im going to let someone else raise my kids. I can wait til they are in school to go back to work (which I DO miss, BTW). This means my Husband (who is Gen Y ans 9 years younger than me….) is the breadwinner and GOD FORBID does not have the most glamourous career. We get by. We are not selfish nor do we wish to “One-up” our neighbors. We have ONE crappy car that we OWN, thank you very much have a nice day, and a crappy house that we are SLOWLY making pretty. And I could give two shits if my neighbor’s lawn is mowed or greener than mine. No….Ill give three shits to that one.

    2. We HATE capitalism. We buy what we need……and on an occasion IF we can afford it splurge on something nice.

    3. We DO have kids. One year old toddlers. And as I had said before I am the mom, not some 21-year-old brat who would rather text her BFF all day. My kids are NOT going to be coddled brats nor neglected punks. We will NOT be their “friends” and overly permissive, nor shall we be over-bearing helicopter parents. Furthermore we will encourage their gifts, strengths and talents and NEVER force them to do an activity they hate or are bad at. Yeah…I went there…I said ‘bad at” because NO, like it or not….you CAN’T do ANYTHING you want to do in life because that would make you perfect and telling ANYONE that is setting them up for failure. And nobody…not me, not my husband and not even MY kids are perfect. We will love them as best as we know and let them be kids.

    4. I do NOT think 40 is old. Or 50 for that matter. I HATE American pop culture, most music made after 2000 and think that morality is going down the shitter. And I am a liberal. Go figure.

    I, finally , am not whining. I am stating MY view of life and my opinions. And I think you are largely wrong, angry and resentful. Its not fair to lump all people of a generation into one catergory. I personally think many college kids are spoiled, bratty, lazy and act like 12-year olds while expecting to get treated like an adult. But I KNOW better than to say they are ALL like this. Because it is not true. And I know that. Because I THINK.