Here’s a tip – never ever ever ever ever sign up for a long-term cell phone contract. Nothing more than a year. No matter what.
When I had a year-by-year contract, Telus was usually almost not horrid to me most of the time. And at the end of the year, they’d offer me some piddly discounts and marginally fabulous new features just for signing for another year.
Then I got complacent and signed a 3-year contract.
I’ve been their bitch ever since.
I’m half-way through the 3 years and the daughter’s phone is toast. One would think it could either be fixed or replaced with relative ease and minimal cost.
One would be soooooooooooooooo mistaken. So very, very mistaken.
I go to the Telus store.
Cocky dipshit wanker “customer service representative” didn’t even get his ass out of his chair when I walked in, nor for the entire 10 minutes I spent in the store.
First thing he does is look up my account. (Ah ha – a long term contract. I don’t even have to pretend to be nice).
He scoffed and sneered at the idea of fixing a cell phone. My so-called loyalty points consisted of $200 off a smart phone provided I sign a new 3-year contract and get the whole digital web package thing.
Or I could get $100 off any other phone without a package, provided I sign a new 3-year contract.
Not in this lifetime.
Or I could buy a refurbished phone for $80 with a 90-day warranty. Most of them are so old they have a rotary dial.
Or I could buy any phone in the store at full price ($300 – $500++)
“Those are not good options,” I say. He shrugs and goes back to his online porn or whatever it is he’s doing back there that prevents him from getting to his feet.
I try calling “customer service”. I kept saying the wrong thing (customer service) to their voice-activated option system apparently because I kept getting sent back to the main menu.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t quite get that. Let me take you back to our main menu.”
“Customer Service” is apparently not an option Telus offers.
When I finally managed to get someone who claimed to be human, they basically just offered me the same options as Desk Wanker, except there were a few more phones available at around the $100 mark.
Of course the phone would have to be sent by courier and I would have to be home to sign for the phone and the courier could come any day within 3-5 business days between 8:00 am and 5:00 pm.
Much as I would love to spend a week at home waiting for a courier, I declined their kind offer.
Then I called to see what it would cost to buy out the rest of my contract.
I finally dug up a very, very old cell ph0ne and had that re-activated. I don’t know how long it’s going to last, and people will point and laugh at my daughter and her retro technology, but oh well. Take better care of your phone next time, honey.
Is there anyone not totally pissed off with their cell phone company? Is anyone happy with their cell phone company? Does anyone want to take over my Telus contract?