The First Date

This coming weekend, my precious little baby girl is going on her first real date. Oh, there’ve been boys in the picture for ages and lots of group outings or couples’ outings, but someone’s parent always drove or they took the bus (back in the golden halcyon days of public transit).

This date is one-on-one though.

 And with the boy driving. (cue the ominous music).

The moment that my palpitating heart has pre-lived with dread on more that one 3:00 am session of insomnia. The moment when I’d send my child off in a car driven by a teenager.

I haven’t met this boy, but have quizzed her extensively:

  • He’s 17 and in grade 12 (she’s 16 and in grade 10). (+1 point)
  • He goes to a different school at the other end of the neighbourhood and lives close by. (+1 point)
  • She met him at work. (+ 1 point)
  • He has 2 part-time jobs. (+2 points)
  • He plays hockey. (+ 1 point)
  • He wants to be an architect. (I immediately pictured Art Vandeley). (+1 point for making me think of Seinfeld).

She showed me his picture on Facebook and he actually looks like a real human being — as opposed to the usual lineup of rat-faced, pencil-necked, dim-witted yobs I’d grown accustomed to her being dazzled by over the last couple of years. (+ 2 points)

He asked her out over a week ago (+1 point) and did it by text. (-3 points) She says he’s very shy. (-1 point).

I said, “Well, I hope he’s not painfully shy because he’s coming in to sit and chat for a while before you go out.”

“WWWHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTT?” she screeched (painfully). DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW EMBARASSING THAT IS?”[1]

“So is a prostrate exam, honey, but he’ll have to submit to that sooner or later, too.”

“WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?”

And so began a (so far) 10-day battle over why I’m insisting on meeting this shy, handsome teenager who intends to drive my daughter off into the night in his own car versus why I’m always trying to ruin her life to make sure she’s miserable, alone and unhappy until the day she dies.

Why do I have to meet him?

  • Because I want to make sure he’s not a total and complete idiot and if he is, yes, I will call the whole date off. (OH MY GOD MOTHER!!!)
  • Because I want to quiz him on his driving qualifications.
  • Because I want him to know there is someone attached to this girl he’s taking out who will feed him his own testicles if he harms one hair on her head and/or doesn’t drive like he’s taking his brittle-boned great-grandmother on her first ever outing in an automobile.

Is this totally unreasonable of me? Isn’t this what parents do who don’t want to spend the entire evening of the date peering out the window with their finger on the 911 speed-dial button?

Except my parents. On my very first real date my Dad just said, “Fine. Start going around with guys now. Just make sure I never see any of them. And we lock the doors at 11:00 in this house.”

___________________________________________________________

 [1] Good thing she never reads my blog, eh? heh, heh, heh.

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57 responses to “The First Date

  1. As a representative of “those that were young boys and once dated girls” I firmly oppose to such a embarrasment, but at the same time, I hope that kid knocks the door with some charming flowers for “mum and her daughter”. That would be a great first step… Remember son “Always go for mum’s heart first!”

    Or may be it’s I do not have any daughters…

    have a great day XUP!

  2. Checking out teenagers yes, I can understand. Grown adults…NOT.

    I once had to sit and chat with the parents before I took their daugther out on a date.

    I was 27…she was 26.

    For crying out Loud….Learn to let Go, Mom and Dad!

  3. Oh what memories this brings back. I remember how mortifying it was for my folks to insist on meeting any boy that came to pick me up for a date. (Not that I had that many.)

    What fun to do it to our own kids! 🙂

  4. Nat – A shotgun? I’d need to find a ride to the shotgun store.

    Meanie – They’re planning to go to a scary movie. Seems like a fine place for a shy boy who apparently does all his talking by text.

    Hannah – I sure hope so because so far she’s literally spent every single solitary day trying to talk me out of it. “But whhhhhyyyyyyyy… Why can’t you be a cool mom?’ etc., etc., etc.

    TTP – HAHAHAHAHAHA – Oh ya, that’s going to happen. I suspect my daughter will dump him right then and there if he does something that dorky.

    Friar – I’m more concerned about his driving than anything else. She can handle herself pretty well otherwise. The kid could only have had his G2 for a few months at best. And in these winter conditions and the way people are driving. I figure I’ll just be checking while she’s 16. By next year, she’ll be wiser, the drivers will be more experienced and I’ll be more relaxed.

    Sky Girl – I don’t think there’s anything wrong with knowing who your kids are hanging around with. Sooner or later she’ll be doing her thing without me knowing what’s going on, but for a little while, I’m going to keep an eye on her still. It’s a lot easier for them to get over a little embarrassment than a car accident or something else.

  5. Ha! What a great Mom!

    She could at least introduce you to him.

    My Mom really wanted to be introduced to my high school boyfriend, I told her he was a nice, smart guy, his dad was an ER Doc & his mom a psychologist. My Mom was so excited to meet him and then she was MORTIFIED to open the door and find out that he was a different race than me- the HORROR!

    I was so disappointed in her. She didn’t do anything to him, but I heard all the nonsense about it later.

    When I tell the story, some have told me that I should have warned her, but I really didn’t think there was anything to warn her about.

    After that incident, I barely let her know that I was dating anyone and she never met another beau until I KNEW I was going to marry my husband.

  6. Every boy who takes out a girl has to pass some arduous tests. He must get up the courage to face rejection and ask her out. He must also get up the courage to meet her parents.
    My older sister had a guy call on her once who drove into the driveway and honked the horn.
    My father forbid her to go out and when he finally came to the door informed him if he hadn’t the respect for her to call at the door he wasn’t permitted to date her.
    She was mortified as expected.
    Fast forward 20 yrs and she was insisting anyone dating her daughter had to come to the door and meet the parents. And telling her son he had to go meet the parents of anyone he dated.
    As for subjecting him to prostrate or prostate exams that seems a bit much.

  7. Reason #3 is the clincher…

    And I’m in 110 % agreement that you do meet him.

    I might also add that your daughter, while following all appropriate teenage protocols; is being a little over dramatic (and trust me, I’m a fag, I know from drama) Meeting the boy, for MORE than a minute at the front door is an ABSOLUTE MUST!

    As you say putting the fear of his testicles served on a platter is not just good form, it is a MUST.

    He probably understands that this unavoidable and has no issue with it… and is likely happy that he’s meeting Mom instead of Dad… teenage boys… silly huh?

    On the other side of the coin if this is not his first date then he probably has already been through the routine and will not only be dripping in charm, (shy or not) and have all the right answers… you might want to step it up a notch, throw in a few curve balls? Ask what his preferred birth control is, is orange juice ever a suitable mixer for gin, boxers or briefs.

  8. I think you’re doing the right thing. It’s important that he be intimated by the very idea of your daughter having a mother.

    I wasn’t allowed to date til I was 16 but I’d already left home by then, so I never went through this as a teenager.

    But this sounds like so much fun. Can I come over and meet him with you? We could interview him and take pictures and blog about him and everything!

  9. I suggest finding a “happy middle”, a compromise, with your daughter. And give her taxi money in case she is unhappy with the date or his driving. (Empower her to make good, sensible decisions rather then make bad rebellious decisions.)

    I would only insist on a quick introduction at the doorstep. Then in front of the boy I would remind her of the curfew, and that she is to call if she is going to be late, so he too knows the expectations… and that your daughter is cared for.
    After all, there are not questions you can ask that will tell you how he actually drives, acts, etc.

  10. Missy – Really, I think she would be sad if I didn’t care who she went around with and never questioned her about anything in her life. I think she just likes to act all tough and grown-up sometimes knowing I’m there as her safety net.

    Bandobras – I wonder if his parents are telling him he has to meet the parents? This is something that bugs my daughter a lot – that there’s a double standard at work here. That he has to meet me, but that she doesn’t have to meet his parents before they go out. And she’s right and I have no answers for her except that I’m only concerned about her safety. (PS: I’m not going to force him to have a prostrate exams – that’s just inevitable)

    Kitty – Thanks. Yes, she is in high drama mode. I think it’s a pre-requisite to being a teenaged girl. I thought it was teenage girls that gay men actually modeled themselves after? (ha ha) And ya, I told her she should be glad there wasn’t going to be a mom and a dad there to do the quizzing. Sheesh. I do have a list of test questions. My main concern actually is the driving thing. His G2 has got to be pretty fresh, so I hope he knows how to handle a car well.

    Zoom – Ha! That should be fun. I’ll see how my kid feels about that. Maybe once I put this new proposal to her, the old one won’t seem so bad? I may dress up like June Cleaver and rent a tall stern-looking father figure and a bratty younger brother for the kid who’ll race around spilling all sorts of embarrassing secrets.

    Dr. Monkey – That’s it? That’s all you got by way of words of wisdom? You used to be a teenaged boy, I thought you’d have some helpful hints. Boy! You’re almost as useful as a real doctor.

    Woodsy – Oh she’ll have taxi money. That’s a given. And the curfew thing – also a given. I really just want to get an idea as to what kind of kid he is. I plan to ask him if he took driver’s ed and how long he’s had his G2 and maybe if he’d like a shot of Scotch for the road. I think a lot can be determined with those few questions.

  11. You should kill the first guy who takes your daughter out; that way the word will get out (to paraphrase the inimitable Charles Barkley).

  12. In my opinion, it all comes down to simple courtesy.

    You, the parent, requested to meet the young man that would like to date your daughter. She is a minor and you are the legally responsible parent. I don’t think you need to justify your request. You asked to meet him, they should lighten up and respect your request. What are they afraid you are going to uncover?

    I think your reasoning is sound. You main concern is her safety and his driving. Although he could be putting on some act, a one on one conversation will give you a good sense as to the caliber of his character. I think it’s funny that people think maybe you are going to far. Why? You care about her safety and you don’t want her to have to experience anything unpleasant. You are doing what any caring, engaged parent would do.

    But don’t go strictly on first impressions. When I first met my now in-laws, I have a Mohawk haircut, torn up jeans, a black eye (the only one I’ve ever had, and I got it by my future wife rolling over bed and elbowing me in the eye). I looked like a CRAZY man. Yet, after talking to me, they realized that all the outside appearance stuff didn’t matter. What did matter was I was a somewhat normal person, I had respect for their daughter, and their daughter liked me and was happy.

    Tell your daughter to have a great time. This makes me glad my daughter is only 4 ½ and I don’t have to worry about this stuff for over a decade.

  13. Meeting him is in no way irrational or scary-mother-bear. But quizzing him on his driving? I’ve driven in cars with 17 year old boys before, and, yes, while they’re very stupid when they’re with their other 17 year old stupid friends, generally when a lady is involved (especially a lady that they want to keep alive in order to date again) they’re much safer. Plus, he’s going to want to impress her. So relax on the driving.

    Aside from that, having been forced to protect my love interests from my father for years now, I can sympathize with your daughter. But, parents are parents (it’s something I’ve been forced to accept) and you remind me a lot of my father. So just… try not to be mean. Or scary. Because she has to live her own life, and while you’re going to be the one there when she cries because all guys are heartlesss douchebags, she needs to learn that for herself.

    Unless he goes to Glebe. That’s just completely unreasonable. Never date a guy from Glebe. (Lisgar boys do it better.)

  14. I’m with Woodsy on the taxi money and curfew mention. You’re not out of line wanting to meet the boy. I’d want to as well. I’m now very firmly putting my fingers in my ears and saying ‘la,la,la’ at the thought of my girls dating. At least I have, what, seven years or so before I have to face this with Leah?

  15. I think a parent has a perfect right to meet a date. Who sends their kids out with strangers? I had a big brother and when I went on my first car date at 14 (with a 16-year-old) my Dad just asked my brother was the guy okay. I do believe he came in and met my parents. After our movie, Jaws we actually went to the pizza parlor where my parents hung out and sat with them. Dad wasn’t worried because he knew I was only interested in the date because of the car. It was a little yellow convertible sports car. I loved that car.

  16. If the boy is as sensible as you think/hope, he will be more than happy to please the parentals by having a chat for 10 minutes. A good first test, no?

  17. Dave – Is that an option? Do I do it before or after the date?

    Reeky – This won’t be the first teenaged boy I’ve met. I grew up with 3 younger brothers too and have 5 nephews and my daughter has always had a gaggle of friends – male and female hanging around the house, so I think I’ve got a pretty good gauge on if he’s okay or not okay even at first impression. It’s mainly, as you say, a matter of principle/courtesy; to talk to him and assure myself that he’s okay behind the wheel and that he knows this is a girl who is valued, so he’d better value her too.

    Davis – He might be trying hard to drive safely and he might even drive according to the book all the time; but there is nothing like experience for dealing with unexpected things on the road. A patch of ice, a distraction, another driver who’s out of control. Someone who’s learned defensive driving and who has a lot of driving experience can avoid these things. A newbie cannot. This is what worries me about young drivers. I will be as nice as pie, I promise. It’s good for her and for him to know that my daughter is an important person and worth caring about. (And no, he doesn’t go to Glebe or Lisgar)

    Squid – Thanks for visiting and commenting and complimenting! Please come again and say more nice things.

    Alison – Ya the taxi and curfew thing are standard. We’ve been doing that even when she’s been with a gang on the bus or driven by another parent. And don’t worry, usually you have a chance to get eased into this. Seven years ago the thought of her dating had me completely petrified. But she gets older, things change, she goes out on her own with friends and groups and at night – a little more each year until we arrive at this magic moment.

    Geewits – Oh thanks for calling it a “car date”. I was going to use that term, but no one I talked to before had ever heard of it. That’s what we used to call it, too. One-on-one, boy driving as opposed to all the other types of “dating” you do leading up to The Car Date. Anyway, so your parents actually came to your date and ate pizza with you? Ha! The date knew your parents would be there and he was okay with that?

    Loth – I think so, too. On paper, he seems like a sensible boy – 2 jobs and all. We shall see. I doubt he’ll be “more than happy” about it, but I don’t think he’ll think it’s as horrifying as my daughter seems to think it is.

  18. Of course it’s not unreasonable. You’re her mother, it’s your job to make her life as miserable as you possibly can so that she doesn’t decide to live with you until she’s 30.

  19. This totally brings me back to my high school years. My parents would drag the poor boy into the house and quiz him endlessly. I felt so bad watching my date squirm. I was mortified. Of course, now, I appreciate it.

    What’s the curfew?

  20. I moved out when I was 17, so I was spared parental perusal of the girls I brought around. Odds are, they wouldn’t have approved of many based on the reactions I got of the few they did manage to meet.

    It’s hard for me to visualize the other side of the coin – what it looked like for the parents of the girls.. but… I was a soldier, in military university and that meant I was educated, semi-disciplined, and had a job. I have to think that would score points with any parent 🙂

    I don’t have kids, but I have a LOT of nieces, and it’s widely known that Uncle Squid has a discerning and downright evil protective eye when it comes to the nieces.

  21. Jazz – All this sweating and worrying she’s doing ahead of time is making her far more miserable than the 5 minutes during which I’ll actually be talking to her date. She does my work for me!

    Woodsy – Well, he’d have to be a real idiot for me to call the date off. Like, if he accepted that Scotch for the road – yes, the date would be off. At least the part where he gets to drive her anywhere.

    Mo – The curfew is pretty loose, depending on what’s going on, when she leaves, what’s happening the next day. On a weekend usually 11:00 unless there’s something going on later than that. So far there’s only been one party that went on until 11:30. Other than that she’s usually in pretty early. She’s always up pretty early, too, so she doesn’t last too far into the night.

    Squid – A lot of the teenaged boys these days seem to like telling parents that they intend to go to police college after high school. Somehow it’s gotten around that this is the ultimate in trustworthiness for parents. I can see how soldiering would have the same cache.

  22. My dad neatly avoided all of that with me and my sister because we never dated during high school (I had just turned 16 when I graduated so that isn’t as weird as it sounds). Too bad — he’s pretty scary looking and it would have been funny to see him in action. 🙂

    Isn’t inspecting each new boy who wants to date your daughter until she turns 19 an official duty codified into the Parents Handbook?

  23. You see when you listen to your daughter she will provide you with all sorts of useful ideas. Since she feels this is sexist I think you should also insist that they go over to his house at the start of the date and meet his parents too.
    I’m sure if you suggest this she’ll fell much better about the whole thing.

  24. I got around that whole first-date-meeting-the-guy thing with DD’s boyfriend of eight months because I know his parents and had heard a lot about him for a long time beforehand. And he and DD corresponded on-line for YEARS (okay, maybe I’m exaggerating just a bit) before they actually met face to face, and they still do. I think they have only spoken on the phone about five times – it’s always texting or on-line. Makes me wonder how kids relate to one another in person nowadays when they have so much more experience in cyberspace.

  25. Nobody expects the XUP Inquisition… 😉

    Wouldn’t you worry about her if there *wasn’t* some drama surrounding this? 🙂

    I totally agree with you about meeting her date! And, if she were the one driving her car, and picking him up at his house, she should be expected to go meet his parents, too.

    If all goes well, she’ll meet them soon enough, I expect.

    Personally, I’d disguise my interrogation questions…but you can guarantee there’d be a google-search with his name all over it on my computer history. Ha! Just kidding. Maybe. 😉

    Good luck to all three of you! 🙂

  26. Louise – Well, I thought it was. The daughter tells me NO and that I’m the only freak who does this, but I’m sure that’s wrong. She always claims everything I do is not what all the other parents do and then later I find out all the other parents do exactly what I do. So I’m not listening to her anymore.

    Bandobras – Who knows? I think I should insist on meeting his parents as well and that we should all get together for a nice Sunday lunch before anyone goes on any dates. Har har har. That would be so much fun to tell her.

    Pinklea – Well, I’d never even heard of this boy until the last few weeks, so I don’t have that advantage. And though the text and Facebook and MSN all the time, they still seem to be able to yak their faces off when they’re together. In some ways I think they’re able to talk to each other about stuff they would be to shy to bring up face-to-face, so maybe overall they end up getting to know each other better than we did with our dates.

    CP – I google enough to find out exactly where he lives (just in case). And ya, this is an awful lot of drama for one date that hasn’t even happened yet. But being 16 seems to be all about drama. Everything is earth shattering. Every bit of good news deserves a scream or squeal or screech. Every disappointment deserves a full out blubber. Every injustice a wail and or weeks of wails. (file under: Things I Have to Look Forward to)

  27. >>A lot of the teenaged boys these days seem to like telling parents that they intend to go to police college after high school.

    The response to that is “then you’ll understand why I keep this Taser around, and what it can be used for” 🙂

  28. If you don’t meet him he will think she has no one that cares about what happens to her. And he will probably find you a MILF and that will TOTALLY embarrass your daughter.

    You need a Teddy Cam so we can all watch this. No really, I am not kidding.

  29. I would be worried about parents who don’t want to meet their kids dates. Of course, on my first date with my first real boyfriend we took the bus and met at the train station and I don’t think my parents cared but I was the 3rd child and thing were much more relaxed by then.

  30. Squid – Thanks. One taser. Check.

    Cedar – MILF? Moro Islamic Liberation Front? What do they have to do with this. And oh boy the Teddy Cam would be so much fun, but I just could do that to my trusting child. Bad enough I’m doing this post.

    Melanie – My daughter has met friends by bus before sort of like that. This one-on-one car date thing just seems so much more official, somehow. And for sure the 3rd child has it much easier than the 1st or only.

  31. Funny: I was just wondering the other day (I forget what prompted it) whether or not your daughter read your blog. I guess I got my answer!

    I was raised exactly the same way. (And I’m an only.) My parents met EVERYONE I spent time with…including friends. It may have annoyed me slightly at the time…but I do also remember feeling loved and knowing that ultimately I was always safe. Mom and Dad had my back.

    So, to sum up…Go you!

    (I also think Dave may be on to something. 😉 )

  32. Get him to give you a ride to the gun store.

    Seriously, though, I support your insistence to meet him and agree with the notion of giving her taxi money, just in case. You’re teaching her to make responsible decisions and to be prepared, right?

    Relax. You’re a great Mom doing the right thing, and she will eventually appreciate it.

  33. OK, so it seems that my son, the Erratic Genius (who is 16), is with you on this issue, XUP. He suggests that you toss your daughter’s date a dueling sword as he steps into the house, and then yell, “To the blood!” He claims that any young man of honour will respect you for it. I guess I just don’t get it… good thing I did not have daughters…

  34. Are you being unreasonable?!? I don’t know!
    As a parent I think no but as a cool hip person I think yes!

    Would it be possible to have him come in to get her and you be in another room and listen in?!? Even give her certain questions to ask him for you to hear;

    1) So, how long have you had your license?

    2) Did you do Drivers Ed through school or Young Canada?

    then when they are about to leave the house, pop out and say a quick goodbye!

    I will point out that you are more than ahead of the game with the fact that your daughter talked to you about it all…and not just, “I’m going out”. She has told you about him, showed his picture. I think that’s worth a couple more points!!

    Good luck! Can’t wait to hear how it goes!

  35. Picking up on Helen’s suggestion:

    3) Are you planning to have sex with me in the back seat?

    4) Have you ever killed someone with your car, just because you felt like it?

    Now you know what it means when someone who says that when you have a boy, you only have one pecker to worry about, but when you have a girl, you have ALL the peckers to worry about.

    Wait! I take back everything I’ve said. Get her into a nunnery by Friday! Oh, no ride to get there. Crap! You do have a dilemma.

  36. (Woops. I’m reading you and commenting with this damn teensy cell phone. There may be a whack unfinished comment dangling somewhere.)

    Sorry for laughing at this post as I’ll one day be sailing in the same boat. I say FORGET being the cool mom. Interrogate the shit out of the dude; if a guy is really interested in your precious gal, he’ll be willing to walk thru the XUP fire. And, I agree, he should know his nuts will be on the chopping block if he takes any wrong turns. (Ohmy, getting nauseous here over the thought of going through the same torment…good luck, chickie)

  37. You’re totally within your rights and it’s completely reasonable! Our girls are only in preschool and already my husband has said he fully intends to quiz and grill any boy who comes to this house expecting to take them out. That is good parenting, plain and simple.

  38. good lord. i cant even imagine myself in that situation. no really.. i still refer to Speedy as ‘the baby’…. at the age of 10 😐

    if you need to crack open a bottle of wine or 3 while peering out the window and having your finger on the 911 speed dial just give me a call

    oh wait. no that cant work. we would need some sort of transportation. something big that could hold alot of people. i wish the city would think of such a thing

  39. i don’t think you are being unreasonable at all i think that one day when she’s older and looks back, maybe she’ll be grateful that you cared enough TO drill this boy.

    our daughter has her “first” boyfriend you betta believe i grilled him like a crazy lady. (lucky for me, i’d already met him b/c he attended one of our halloween parties a few years back). and, they’ve known each other since 2nd grade.

    as i say to my daughter, if he cares enough about you he’ll endure any wrath i bestow upon him (and future hims).

  40. You know, kids, this has been a sincere, amusing, and, at times, instructional dialogue I seldom have the pleasure to read. I agree with nearly everything written here. I have little to add but this: When all is said and done, everything is going to be f-i-n-e. Relax. Have faith. Then have a flakey.

  41. They didn’t come to my date. I chose to go to the pizza parlor. They always hung out there on the weekends. My date was fine with stopping by there and he gave me a peck on the lips as he left the house that night and that was that. I think he figured out I just liked his MG convertible. Besides, I quickly moved on to a little green fiat.

  42. I never insisted on meeting the boyfriends, but The Dad did. He would then start casually talking about the shotgun and shovel he owned.

    Actually, the girls liked it. If the boys could survive the Dad Test, they stood a chance.

  43. Lesley – Good to hear. I’m sure somewhere deep down she appreciates it too. I like to know who she’s hanging around with and have met everyone she spends time with outside of school – not just to keep her safe, but also because I’m interested.

    Bob – Yes, Bob. She’s very responsible and I’m reasonably confident that she’s not going to do anythnig foolish. And, re” pecker comment – – I’m not even worried about the pecker aspect. My daughter has been taught well and she has a good head on her shoulders. The boy seems to be a respectable sort from everything I’ve heard so far. Really, the main thing is the driving issue.

    Woodsy – Really? Your son said it was good for me to qizz the date? Cool. The young man has already been informed that he’d getting grilled by my daughter and he seems to be okay with it. He told her it was making him extra nervous, but they had a laugh about it. Apparantly this is his first real date, too. Isn’t it romantic? I’m all giddy.

    Helen – Well, that would just be strange. Why would she ask him those questions just before going out the door and not any of the other many opportunities she’s had talking to him at work?

    OTC – Yes, I feel it’s part of my duty in the blogworld to give the mommy bloggers a little glimpse into their future in case they want to get out while they still can. (i.e.: cute babies and toddlers are a lot easier to adopt out than pubescents and teenagers)

    Kimberly – I think so. I know I always felt really odd about my parents never wanting to have anything to do with any of my friends or boyfriends while everyone else’s parents always insisted on meeting everyone.

    Jobthingy – Ha ha ha – isn’t it interesting how every conversation us transit types have these days involves transit? Stupid transit. (PS: this “situation” will sneak up on you before you know it)

    Leah – Future hims? You mean this isn’t it? She’s not going to go steady with him for the next 10 years and then get married and have 2 lovely grandchildren for me? Arrrggghhhh. I don’t plan to go crazy on him exactly, just have a little chat. Like I said somewhere way up above, it’s good for both the boy and my daughter to know that she’s valued.

    Tom – Glad to oblige. I haven’t had a flakey in about 20 years, I think. Do they still make them? Are we talking about the same thing?

    Geewits – Ah, I see. Fiat, eh? You’ve inspired a whole new post with your car dating.

    UP – Maybe it’s cooler for the guy to meet the Dad than it is for the guy to meet the mom? I told my daughter she should count herself lucky that she doesn’t have a dad to grill this guy and she said NO, that would be cool.

  44. If I had a daughter I would have kept her locked up until she was in her mid 30’s.
    I know there are men like me out there…..

  45. Lost – Are you kidding? My dad’s thing was nuts. I could have been murdered. He locked me out more times than I care to remember and never had a clue who I was with or where I was. I ran away from home at 17 and no one noticed for 3 days.

    Lebowski – That’s not a viable option. And I’m sure you would have been a perfect gentleman in your teens and if not, I believe she can handle herself. Sooner or later I’ll have to trust that she can anyway.

  46. We all have our little phobias in life and I think you may be leaning towards driving.
    The huge majority of teens actually get through their driving initiation unscathed and I’m sure this one will too.
    In flying they have found that first year pilots are actually as safe as the extreme veterans cause they ar still unsure ao temselves so don’t take chances. Its in the second and third year when they start to gain confidence they get into trouble and then as they continue they actually get enough experience to get out of the trouble and become really safe.
    Ergo you should let her go out driving with new drivers or with old experienced drivers but she’ll have to take a break of about 10 years between say 19 yr olds and late 20s. I expect she’ll be fine with this if it’s explained properly to her.

  47. If you tell her she can’t date the guy because he’s an idiot, or whatever, then isn’t she more likely to find ways to date the guy, just because?

    I remember my mom telling me “I’m only trying to protect you from making the mistakes I made” and I said “Thanks Mom, but think some mistakes really hit it home when I make them personally.”

    Daisy

  48. Daisy – I don’t think that’s going to happen. I trust her judgement enough to know she’s not going to be interested in a total idiot, so I’m confident I don’t have to cross that rickety bridge.