Waxing for Fun and Profit

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My lovely and talented (though somewhat hirsute) co-worker, Uma is off on a tropical vacation in a couple of weeks. So, naturally the first thing on her agenda (after making sure all her work is finished before she goes…bwah-ha-ha) is to get a full leg and bikini wax.

She has her appointment all set for next week. It’s going to cost $45.

So, being an avid reader of Dan Savage, I start thinking that instead of her spending that $45, there must be a way for a tall, leggy blond to earn some vacation  money by  getting waxed. There’s a kink for everything, right? Why not this?

So, off I went to the World Wide Web. If there’s something to be found on the internet, I can usually find it. I have a toolbox full of search tools; know how to build Boolean nests and have the perseverance of a bull dog.

But I couldn’t find a thing on men who are so hot to give someone a full leg and bikini wax that they’re willing to pay for it.

I did, however, find about a gazillion sites for men who like to have hot wax poured over their genitals and leather-clad women who are ready and willing to indulge them.

Apparently, men are more interested in getting wax than giving wax.

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True Fact: As I mentioned on Zoom’s leg shaving post yesterday, it was Gilette who first introduced the idea that women needed to be smooth and hairless in order to be considered attractive. In 1915, in what was called “a massive, sustained marketing assault” they promoted their new lady’s razor, the “Milady Décolletée”.  North American women have been ashamed of looking like grown-ups every since.

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34 responses to “Waxing for Fun and Profit

  1. Yeah, what is it with this obsession we women (especially in North America) have on being hairless? I’m so brainwashed that if I don’t shave my legs one day, it annoys me! I chose to get electrolysis done on my bikini line many years ago, so I don’t have to face hot wax. I do find the idea of hot wax spread on my body then ripped off on purpose kind-of creepy – yet, sticking a tiny needle into a hair follicle and zapping the root with a tiny blast of electricity is fine with me! Good thing we have options – including au naturel.

  2. So if Gillette called it the “Milady Décolletée”, does that mean they originally advocated that women only shave their chests? Or, their, umm, upper butts?

    Just asking…

  3. I have problems too with the hairless thing. Especially these days when it’s all the rage to look like a prepubescent girl. That’s quite creepy really.

  4. Sky Girl – I know! Isn’t it amazing how thoroughly we can be brainwashed by advertising?

    Ellie – Deb is always hilarious.

    Dr. Monkey – So just leaving it the way it grows isn’t “right”?

    Pinklea – Like I said to Sky Girl, it’s truly crazy. An entire culture that believes that women’s naturally occurring leg and armpit hair is hideous. I’m not immune myself, but hate it. I went furry for a while, but felt self-conscious about it the whole time.

    Coyote – Originally it was just armpits women had to shave – I think the idea behind the name was to convince women to shave so they could wear strapless gowns. It was 1915 so I guess they figured Milady Armpit would be too crass, so they went with something sexier.

    Jazz – Started with the pits, moved to the legs, then “bikini” now Brazilian. There are girls in my daughter’s school who are shaving everything including their arms because any visible hair is “gross”. Apparently young guys (30 and less??) think public hair on women is “gross”, too. In fact, many men are removing their pubes as well.

    Tom – I wondered who, if anyone, was going to pick up on that and comment. I don’t know if anyone is calling it that these days, but I think I might start calling it that. Oh wait, I already have.

  5. Guys are often obsessed with how they look naked around other guys, in situations like locker rooms. Other than back hair, which is gross (I had mine waxed before going to Dubai last year and am considering it before Jamaica), I don’t understand guys who think they look more virile and studly with NO body hair, especially in the nether regions. One guy I know says he keeps Junior hairless because it makes Junior look bigger. I think it just makes him look like someone who never really grew up, but still wants to hang around the big boys.

  6. I know a person who volunteers at a Domestic Violence Shelter in a South American Country and she waxes people out of her apartment to pay her bills! She is a bigger person than me.

  7. You’re a stinkin’ GENIUS. Too bad this brilliant idea didn’t pan out, but what I want to know is this: before Gillette had their little marketing blitz, did American women shave their armpits or legs?

  8. I personally think underarm hair on women is icky, but only shave my underarms about once a week, just because it feels cleaner as I do not wear sleeveless shirts. I only shave my legs in spring and summer to wear shorts. And as for that other area, I wear swim shorts on the few occasions when I have on swimwear in public. My best friend shaves all over every day. I’d rather get a sex-change operation than feel like I had to shave all over every day.

  9. Clarke gable apparently had an aversion to all body hair and was rightly thought to be a bit nuts because of that. Yet now we demand it of women and are starting to require it of men as well.
    I wonder if it’s all just to make some money.
    Obviously the way we are is flawed and only by constant attention and spending can we be acceptable human beings.
    Marketers 1 People 0

  10. Bob – You know waaaaaaay too much about men’s johnson grooming habits. But you’re right. Why do we all want to look like children? Remember how proud you were when that first chest/armpit/pubic hair appeared? Because it meant you were on your way to adulthood and all sorts of untold debauchery?

    Missy – Women in South America get waxed, too? Are they locals or expats or tourists? I know that this hairless thing was purely a North American phenomena until very recently. Oh, I guess the term “Brazilian” must have some relationship to South American, eh?

    Dguzman – Thank you for the stinkin’ genius compliment (although you should know that I shower daily, so perhaps “fragrant genius” would be more apt. And no, North American women did not remove any of their body hair before the Gillette brainwashing campaign. Many women in many other cultures (including civilized places all over Europe) still do not remove their body hair. And those that do, do so because they want to be more Hollywood.

    Geewits – Me too. I don’t have much body hair to begin with, so it’s never been a big problem even when I let it all just grow. I like to keep the pits trim because the hair is uncomfortable when running. It keeps things cooler, but it also gets caught in tank tops and sports bras when you’re moving your arms a lot. This is probably way more information that you ever hoped to have about me, but hey, you could have stopped reading.

    Bandobras – What’s mind boggling is how much of our beliefs and our standards of beauty, health, happiness, etc. are defined by advertising. We don’t even know that we only think armpit hair is disgusting because we’ve been conditioned to think that by advertisers. Personally, I think men and women who have no more body hair are a little creepy.

  11. Stupid marketing! This is why we all have sparkly white teeth now, too. We can’t have normal teeth with an off-white colour. Nooo… they have to be blindingly white. So white that if you were to smile into oncoming traffic you would blind those people and could possibly cause copious amounts of death and carnage.

    That being said, I love right after I shave (not wax – I don’t do pain very well). Although I’m still mad at Gillette for making it the norm so I feel I HAVE to do it. Damn them! You know who doesn’t care if my legs are hairy? Peanut butter cups or chips. They don’t care at all.

  12. Do I need to chime in with the “tortoise and the hare” analogy again?
    Gimme a neatly trimmed bush thank you.
    Oh and guys who shave their junk are insecure about the size of their weenies.
    It makes it look bigger – but oddly enough it doesn’t go any further in….. who’d have thunk it?

  13. The Maven – Yes. The goal here I think is to look as far removed from actual human beings as possible. Human beings are ugly, hirsute, yellow-teethed, frizzy-haired , oddly shaped creatures with flaws and scars and wrinkles and flabby bits. Androids, on the other hand are pleasing to the eye and perfect. With enough surgery we, too can look like androids. Can I hear a WOOT WOOT for androids. (PS: Androids don’t eat chips OR peanut butter cups. They only drink lukewarm water)

    Lebowski – How about men who keep their junk neatly trimmed? Is that a norm in your world these days?

    Woodsy – Ah, yes! I’d completely forgotten about this – inspired, I believe by Megan’s raw cootchie incident. Thank you. I’d be interested to know the demographic of men surveyed because from what I’m hearing, the younger guys prefer the pre-pubescent look on both males and females.

    Stella – It took me a long, long, long time to be able to work Morty into a blog post. I don’t know why. You seem to have no trouble with this at all.

  14. I remember feeling so grown-up the first time I shaved my legs. Yup, right up to the point that I shaved a neat scroll of skin from my shin. I still have the scar.

  15. Helen – Thank you. I think.

    Lebowski – Completely? I’m sorry, but that would freak me out.

    Alison – Ouch. My daughter has been bugging me since she was 9, I think to shave her legs — which have never had anything but the finest blond wisps of hair on them in the first place. Just because it would make her feel grown-up.

  16. Okay, yes, we have been ashamed of our hair. But did you see that nude of Madonna they are auctioning off? I am sorry, but when you have enough pelt down there to probably braid, I am thinking at least a trim, if not a wax.

  17. hmm. i shave. it doesnt bother me to but that would be prob because my hair really doesnt grow that quickly. i shave once a week. thats it. i dont have to do it more because there is nothing there.

    i also like the smooth skin. i couldnt go without it. it would drive me bonkers.

  18. Lesley – SHE did a blog on fisting? There goes next Wednesday’s post…damn

    JObthingy – Whatever turns your crank, baby

  19. personal subject? funny stuff.

    ahhh what the hell…

    the Queen doesn’t like me looking like a teenager

    and she’s got european ancestry so some trimming is required. but not so she looks like a teenie bopper. not.

  20. Reeky – I don’t blame the Queen. I wouldn’t want to be gettin’ down with someone who looks pre-pubescent either.

    Savanvleck – I can’t believe only 2 people picked up on that last statement. It’s true though — if you’ve ever had occasion to delve into the S&M world (virtually, of course), you’ll notice 99% of the submissives are men and 99% of the dominants are women. Kind of a reversal of society, isn’t it?

  21. i LOVE that you even thought it was an option, seriously that’s innovative. men are very silly creatures that i’ll never fully understand. nor do i want to, it’s prolly a scary place in there.