Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Uma and I were commenting on all the bald men in the cafeteria yesterday at lunch. She said that if a guy started going bald, he should just shave it all off. Lots of the guys in our building seem to have done that. Uma thinks it looks hot.

baldjog

Me, I kind of like hair.

antonio_banderas

I guess I wouldn’t divorce my husband if he went bald or anything…if I had a husband and that were only thing he’d lost…and he still had all his money, for instance…

But with 85% of men experiencing significant hair loss by the time they turn 50, it’s very rare to see an older guy with a full head of hair. I’m always amazed when I do see an old guy with lots of hair. They’re usually Greek.

aristotleonassis

It’s testosterone that makes men lose their hair more than women. If a man was castrated before puberty, he’d never go bald.

R. UNIDO-MÚSICA

 Allessandro Moreschi, “The Last Castrato”

(note the full head of luxurious hair)

It’s odd that no one has come up with a less drastic cure for baldness, though. You’d think this would be something that research scientists would be all over. It would be a huge money maker. I did a lot of research on this once thinking if I could come up with a cure for baldness I’d be set for life.

There’s still time, because so far all they’ve come up with is:

  • Rogaine and Minoxidil type products. Nice try, but I don’t think anyone has ever grown back their hair using them;
  • Hair transplants that cost about a million dollars per hair;
  • Hair weaves, which are just silly; and,
  • Toupees (my personal favourite).

trump_donald

If none of these appeal, guys can always:

  • Dye what’s left of their hair a dark vibrant colour in hopes that it will overpower and render invisible the bald area;
  • Grow what’s left of their hair long and tie it in a ponytail so they look hip and cool and no one will notice they’re 60;
  • Always wear hats;
  • Employ strategic combing techniques; or
  • Cut what’s left of their hair short and let nature take its course.

sean-connery-good

Of course women lose their hair, too. I worry a lot about the possibility of losing my hair. Which is another reason I have to get on that cure for baldness thing.

Anyway, the real purpose of this post is to warm us up a little since it’s about minus 30 C (or about minus 20 in old timey degrees).

donofrio1

Here’s one for the other 25% of my readers: (nice hair, eh?)

heidiklum1

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29 responses to “Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

  1. My bald head actually doesn’t look bad – the shape is good and my ears lie flat too. But it is too startling for most folks to see a bald woman so I cover it up. I also cover it up because it is COLD. I miss my hair. Maybe if it were hot out, I wouldn’t mind so much. But when people see a bald woman, they think “chemo” and they are usually right, so I get the pity-mixed-with-fear looks. I’ll have to see how I feel when it starts growing back in April, whether I bare my head with only a centimeter of hair on it. I think if I even have a little hair, I won’t mind baring my head but time will tell. Hair is a surprisingly good insulator however and I think this week, even men who shave their heads on purpose will be wearing hats.

  2. Coyote – Whatever warms the cockles of the hearts of the readership. Sorry I forgot to post something for the non-human readers.

    Frair – Ha ha

    Jobthingy – Does he shave it or is it natural? And if he shaves it, does he keep it closely shaven so you don’t get razor burn?

    Julia – Some women, like some men, look really hot without hair. for instance, Demi Moore was bald for a while and very striking-looking. If you have a good head and your ears don’t stick out too much, why not. I think I’d look like ET because my ears DO stick out and my head is weird. But you’re right, this is a bad time to be without your insulating fur. But you can wear any hat you want and not worry about hat head. I’ve know people whose hair grows back completely different after chemo — sometimes they get curls when they never had curly hair before. Who knows?

  3. Oh dear. I was going to write this really intelligent and witty comment in response to this hilarious and excellently written post and then….picture….Vincent D’Onofrio…light-headed…room kinda swirly…..and then Oh. Mahhh. Gahhhh.

    DROOOOOOOLS.

  4. Your post completely reminds me of a song by Christine Lavin… BALD HEADED MEN. It’s seriously funny stuff. Here are the lyrics…

    I don’t like men who exaggerate
    about the places they’ve been
    about the money they’ve made

    I like a man who’s honest and true
    You can look him in the eye
    When he’s talking to you
    I like men who accept who they are
    Not everyone can look like a movie star
    If you can follow this thought
    to it’s logical end
    You can see why I like bald-headed men
    . . . ooh, I like bald-headed men

    Everyone knows that it’s testosterone
    that turns bushy-haired men into a chrome dome
    But testosterone is what makes a man a man
    The more that he’s got the more that he can
    Do the things that make the women go “Oy!”

    I’ll take the bald-headed man over a big-haired boy
    Big-haired boys make very good friends
    But they cannot compare to bald-headed men

    I’ve said it before
    I’ll say it again
    I like bald-headed men

    So why did you waste your money
    joining that hair club for guys?
    Oh, why would you cover your manly badge of honor
    with such a bad disguise?
    Oh, why would you throw away money on Rogaine and Minoxidil?
    When all they can guarantee are years and years of pharmacy bills
    . . . please don’t do it!

    I believe the hair replacement industry for men
    is like the cosmetic industry for women
    A giant black hole that will suck your money away
    for the rest of your life
    . . . please don’t do it!

    No matter how you fight it, time marches on
    Some new things appear, some old things are gone
    Let it move – – it’s a natural thing
    Like a leaf on a tree or a bird on a wing
    Try looking in your mirror from a whole different place
    You’re not losing hair, you’re gaining face
    Be confident! Be cool! It won’t be long when
    You are bound to be one of the bald-headed men

    Said it before
    I’ll say it again
    I love bald-headed men

    – – – – –

    I can’t find a video of Christine singing the song, but there is this rather painful tribute video… if you can ignore WATCHING it you can at least hear Christine singing…

    Otherwise you SHOULD run out now and buy a copy of “Christine Lavin: Live at the Cactus Cafe: What Was I Thinking?” The album is one of the best folk – comedy albums I’ve ever had the pleasure to hear or own.

  5. I like the bald look. I like the full head of hair. I like the let nature take its course thing.

    So long as it’s not a toupee or a comb over, I’m pretty much ok with it.

  6. You work with Uma Thurman? Tell her I fell in love with her when I saw her in the Baron Muchausen movie.

  7. Hi,
    Newbie here and recent fellow blogger.:)
    Actually Billy Zane-another hot and famous baldo-is Greek and started losing his hair earlier than normal in life. I think he looks better bald, as do a lot of other guys.

    Better than the whole ‘bald at the top with a long ponytail on the bottom’ look that some guys try to pull off! Echhh! 😛
    If you’re mostly bald, just shave off the rest!

  8. Being one that isn’t going to lose my hair, I don’t really think about it much except for a few years ago when I met my Uncle on my Mom’s side. I hadn’t ever seen him in the previous 40 years of my life so the only thing that I was worried about was his hair loss (Genetically its carried on your mother’s side).
    With regards to bald women I am not fond of it. I have been with a few but doesn’t do anything for me to be honest…. and a bald 20 year old makes me feel like the tortoise…. like I got there before the hare.

  9. Lesley – I know, eh? Swoonerific or what? I mean, he looks pretty good old and everything, but the young V D’O??? One could only say, “gadzooks”.

    Kitty – That’s hilarious and so perfect. I’ll definitely go look for this. Thanks

    Jazz – I agree. Really, it’s all about the person under the dome.

    Dr. Monkey – Did you miss my introduction to my workmates? See: Polllyanna Takes a Picnic and meet Uma.

    Hannah78 – Hi and welcome! Sean Connery looks pretty good with his fringe, too, doesn’t he? It all depends on the head and the ears, too… and the face and age of the guy. The ponytail works for Willy Nelson.

    Rusty – Ah Rusty, your pearls of wisdom (tortoise/hare)… very clever. Were these bald women you were with bald by choice or because of chemo or some other issue? And how can you be so sure you’ll never lose your hair? Have you been castrated? And I must say I’m very surprised you had no comment to make about Heidi Klum’s hair. Very surprised.

  10. No those bald women partook of something I understand is called “A BRAZILLIAN”

    And Heidi Klum DOES have nice hair. I copied the pic and enlarged it quite a bit and noticed that she has split ends right between her knockers, jugs, boobs, tits whatever you wanna call them.

  11. I’m all for hair. I have so much of it, walking side by side with a baldy just feels like passersby should be paying us in quarters to gaze upon us.

    My ex was losing his hair when we were together and drenched his head daily in Rogaine (which didn’t work a flip for him). Ugh, I’d walk into the bathroom after he doused his head and taste the Rogaine in the air. Recently, someone gave me a box of cheap diaper wipes…smelled just like Rogaine…terrible flashbacks.

    I’m waiting on the cure for gray hair.

  12. I too was all set to pretend to be mature and post a normal comment then I got to the 25% pic and I lost my thoughts, thanx. Let my try again….

    I’m a 47 yr old guy and still have my hair. The men on mom’s side of the family are almost all bald and my dad (before he died at 39) had a wicked receeding hairline. Both my brother and I thought we be bald or close to it by 30. (My 50 yr old brother has a full head of hair and it’s actually pretty thick.)

    About going bald. My plan was to let nature take it’s course. No attempts to save or replace. Cut it short and deal with it. Don’t know about shaving bald unless I had one of those lonely round patches in the front like Micahel Chiklis used have his hair in the TV show the Commiss. M. Chiklis has since shave his head bald-now on the Shield TV show)

    There is one other option for me if I go bald. Back when I was a punker, I saw a guy with a mohawk (I had one too) who had a “THIS END UP” sign tattooed on the side of his head. I always said that if I went bald I may get one like it.

  13. There are really only 2 absolute no nos.

    1/ forget the comb over/ strategic combing, you ain’t fooling anyone but yourself and look stupid because of it.

    2/ Never wear a dead squirrel on your head even if you are the donald.

  14. Helen – Excellent point. There does seem to be a direct correlation. I wonder which comes first?

    OTC – Nuthin’ wrong with grey hair. As long as you’ve got a good cut and keep the face and body under it looking healthy, you’re allowed to call it “silver”

    Rusty – No, I guess no one has ever called you political as far as I know. They all just call you Rusty.

    Reeky – You could tattoo a beautiful mosaic on your head in the shape of hair. That would be fun. It could be a tattoo-mosaic snapshot of your whole life.

    Bandobras – It’s working for La Donald

  15. I love baldies. The Man is a baldy sometimes. I really really really like. In fact. I love bald men. Complete and total hotness…

    (I know equal opportunity and all… but what the heck did she do to her boobs. They are perfect spheres… )

  16. LOL Reeky … like the tattoo idea … 😉

    Thanks for this XUP — gave me a good laugh! Bald works for me … or cutting it short … owning it. The combover=NO, the toupee=NO … lol. Being natural is definitely sexy, hair or no hair.

  17. Ooh, thanks! I really needed that today. It’s too damn cold.

    My husband is a baldie. I love it! He started losing his hair in his 20’s so he bravely shaved it off. It looks fantastic. He likes to tell everyone that he just has so much testosterone that he couldn’t even go three decades with hair on his head and ended up with three sons. I normally stand next to him at this point and do the Tim the Toolman Taylor manly grunt 😛

  18. I agree about shaving it when it gets funky on top, but a ponytail? Oh hell no. Old balding guys with ponytails make me gag. I don’t care about hair really except I don’t like long hair on guys. Or mullets.

  19. a) I love Vin Diesel. I have a sick obsession with bald men with muscles and little to no intelligence. I have no clue which trauma caused that.

    b) Dumbknuts has actually been losing his hair since his very early 20’s. So lots of testosterone? Hm… In any case, 10 years later he still refuses to completely shave. Only advantage? He always looked way older than me, even though he was 3 years younger.

    c) I cannot WAIT to tell my brother that he has no or little testosterone! All men in my family keep their hair their whole lives… Mr Republican will be so p-o to hear that he isn’t manly! Thanks for that ammunition… 🙂

  20. Nat- Actually if you look closely, they do have some “hang” to them so you can be pretty sure they’re real. Plus with the right upper body thrust they show to their best advantage. Not for nothing she’s a super model!

    Olivia – Interesting how we all like the natural look in our men, yet won’t allow it for ourselves, eh?

    Debra – Ya I reckon the fan club has been way too un-fanlike lately. There were some pretty hot recent photos, too, but this one? Wow!

    The Maven – Rrrrr – obviously you’re more than enough woman for a manly man like that. I’d be afraid. Wait until the boys get into the puberty years. There’s be so much testosterone in the house, you’ll start growing facial hair.

    DP – I’m an equal opportunity blogger. I think I agree. I wouldn’t rule someone out just because of their hair or lack of it — it’s the person under the hair that’s really important. And whether or not they are stinkin’ rich.

    Geewits – I guess it depends on how long. Maybe not shoulder length, but some length is nice. And I think they’ve even stopped wearing pony tails in Europe where it was cool until North Americans took it over

    Gila – Ooooo – I love sibling rivalry. We’ve got it in spades in our family, so it’s always fun to see we’re not freaks. But really, how much testosterone does a guy need? I’m sure most of them would be willing to give up a bit if it meant they could keep their hair.

    LGS – You’re welcome. If it gets too hot, feel free to ship some hotness over here. We’re in a serious deep freeze. Thank you.