To: Sick Transit From: Gloria Mundi

Dear Transit,

I’ve known from the start that ours was not a union based on love. You only tolerated me for my money – a pittance to you, but all I was able to give. For what I gave, I was allowed to dance to your tune.

I thought we had an understanding.

You were always unreliable, capricious. I was always there ready, waiting for you, greeting you cheerfully — a greeting often returned with distain.

Sometimes you passed right me by in the street without acknowledging my presence although I waved at you frantically.

Sometimes I waited in vain for you. Hours passed with no sign of you. It kept me humble.

There were times when you took me so roughly and carelessly, I feared for my life.

You kept me on my toes. Always wondering if you’d show up as promised. Always wondering what would be in store for me when you did show up.

Would you be cold and rude? Would you be hot and angry? Would you take me or leave me?

But it wasn’t all bad. There were times we shared a laugh. Times you smiled. Times when weeks went by and you were the perfect partner.

Through it all, you somehow managed to seduce me into an illusion of independence – something I craved. You laid the city out at my feet. You gave me carte blanche to explore it. I felt free.

You lured me deeper with your talk of ten-year plans. You made me believe we had a future together.

But it was all a ruse, wasn’t it? A clever manipulation to make me totally dependent on you.

I think, deep down, I knew it all along because there was always this flicker of resentment that licked around the edges of my heart. I did my best to squelch it.

And now you’ve abandoned me. Utterly. Completely. Without a word of explanation. You’ve broken our vows. Abused my trust. Exploited my vulnerability.

What did I do? Haven’t I always been there for you? Faithfully? Keeping up my end of our agreement?

What was once a squelchable flicker is now a core of white hot  resentment.  I’m sorry. I can’t help it. It eats at my gut. And yet, I am ashamed to admit that  if you were to return tomorrow, I believe I would still  swallow my pride and be there for you again — waiting.

Are you coming back?

The thought that you might never return fills me with both despair and relief. Despair because I’m not sure how I will cope without you.

And relief because maybe I will finally be able to move on. Maybe, just maybe there will be someone new to take your place.  I don’t ask for much — someone reliable, trustworthy and capable, who appreciates me and will treat me with respect. Who will not leave me suddenly to fend for myself at the worst possible time.

Worldy things are fleeting. Think on.

Love,

Gloria

___________________________________________________________

That’s it. I think I’ve got all the transit strike-related posts out of my system.

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20 responses to “To: Sick Transit From: Gloria Mundi

  1. Wow. Was that good for you? It was good for me. I felt the anger and the hurt. What a tumultuous relationship you and Transit had. In many ways I’m glad the two of you are done. In some ways I wish you could rekindle your romance, because when you were on, you really shined together. Such a shame. Such a damn shame…

  2. This sounds like the time last spring (and I use the term loosely cause we still had 4 feet of snow) when I broke up with winter.

    We are both better off without them.

  3. You and your love letters! You almost made me cry! Stop it pls!

    It was brilliant XUP! I loved it…. and you are winning a place into my weekly recommended list! Again!

    Have a great day!

  4. The Maven – No, it actually was never what I would call “good”. It was okay and horrible at times and now it’s just a big gaping void.

    Lost – Hey – thankzzzz!

    Jazz – I wallow in your pity.

    Alison – I hope you don’t have a copywright on love letters to non-humans? “Cuz then I’m gonna be in big trouble. I don’t think I could handle a law suit right now. Please, please don’t suit me. I’ll do anything. ANYTHING.

    Guillermo – Aw shucks. I wept copiously as I was writing it. And I’m very excited to be in your weekly list again. Hola, Guillermo readers!!

  5. Great letter!

    Environment Canada’s Weather Office estimated todays temperature at 8AM with windchill @ minus-39.

    My 45 min walk to work felt like hell froze over. Once at the office, I couldn’t stand even a metre from somebody because I emitted so much cold air that I made everyone in the office freeze.

  6. You know how much I hate to be the devil’s advocate but just why is it that smart, independent, educated women keep going back to creeps like this. There are so many vehicles out there, maybe not as flashy, who would like nothing better than to serve you loyally. To be there whenever you needed them and to be faithful to you and you alone. They would even allow three or moreways with your friends if that is what you wanted.
    But no you keep going back to that public slut who would pick up anyone standing on the street corner and then wonder why you feel hurt and betrayed.
    Maybe it’s a size thing but bigger isn’t always better.

  7. Kenyam 101 – You’re a brave soul! I’m waiting for the first strike-related fatality to see if that spurs anyone into action – not that I want anyone to suffer anymore than they already are, but it’s inevitable in this weather.

    Bandobras – It’s not about size. It’s about commitment. I have to pay dearly for such loyalty. So many demands, so much coddling, so high maintenance, so much money. I can’t deal with the neediness.

    Woodsy – I always suspected there were many others just like me. The rough stuff WAS exciting, but also frightening.

    Friar – Maybe I will!

  8. Oh no, XUP, I wasn’t hinting at a lawsuit, I was merely pointing out how each of us had been cruelly betrayed by a loved one and had had to write a ‘Dear John/winter/transit letter’.

  9. Brilliantly written! I can appreciate the reasons for using public transportation and if I lived anywhere near where I worked (and if where I worked was anywhere near anything else) I would take advantage of it. Probably. But I have to tell you, I love my vehicle and the freedom it gives me. I love being in control of my schedule and being able to get to wherever it is I want to go and having a large cargo area to hold all my things without having to wrestle them through turnstiles and crowded seats. Yes, my vehicle is very good to me.

  10. Violetsky – I know. I should be writing for Harlequin.

    Alison – Phew! How about we form a support group then?

    Jobthingy – I was really under no illusions that I was the only one. He got around, I knew that. I feel a lot closer to you because of it.

    Debra – Ya, like I said to Bandobras, your way requires so much of a commitment; so much giving; so much nurturing. I’m not good with the needy. I’ve had cars of my own in the past and did appreciate the freedom, but they were also always a big headache. As big as this strike, you ask? Hmmmmm

    Kimberly – Thanks.

    Cedar – Gloria’s pretty easy — willing to go with anyone who’d pick her up. She has only herself to blame for this mess she’s in.

    Geewits – Strap? You guys have straps to hold on to on your buses? Wow, very sophisticated. We just hang on to the heads of the people in seats next to where we’re standing and hope for the best.

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