2009: A Retrospective

Natural Phenomena

Annual average temperatures in the northern hemisphere were far, far lower than any other year in recorded history, while annual average temperatures in the southern hemisphere were far, far higher. This can’t be good.


Due, no doubt, to the global economic crisis, shops, businesses, governments and even stock exchanges closed their doors in 2009. My fridge is looking kind of bare.

In a related story, a huge percentage of the earth’s population has not worked in 2009.


Crime statistics have been way down in 2009. Canada recorded only 4 murders for the year, while other violent and non-violent crimes were down over 80% internationally.


Television was a bleak wasteland of program repeats that were really bad the first time around.


Many humans spent 2009 feeling bloated and/or hungover.

Others reported an annual average increase in sexual activity for 2009.  Personally, not to brag or anything, but…twice a day every day!


We still don’t have jet-packs.