Do you ever feel superhuman when you eat a peanut butter sandwich? I always do. Think about it; here you are consuming, ingesting, enjoying and deriving valuable nutrients from something that kills lesser mortals.
It’s like being being able to leap tall buildings or being bullet-proof or turning big and green when angry.
“What have you got for lunch there today?”
“Toasted rye bread with tomatoes, lettuce, sweet onions and PEANUT BUTTER!”
“AAAARRGGGggggHHHHGGGGhhh.” The crowd scatters in all directions like Godzilla himself were after them. They huddle in corners gazing at me in awe as my sharp, glistening incisors conquer chunk after chunk of The Sandwich. I open my mouth wide as I masticate the deceptively creamy smoothness of the peanut, to give them all a better look at my fearlessness.
“Ha Ha Ha Ha HAAAAA!” I bellow, swallowing the last morsel of their enemy. Its stench is still strong on my fingers as I waggle them in the direction of the mortals. They flinch and cower.
Tonight, I suspect they will be at my door with pitchforks and home-made torches of fire to rid me from the midst of their village.
Meanwhile, I will continue to enjoy the peanut butter. Smoothy for me. The kind made just from peanuts. None of this Jif pseudo peanut butter bastardized with oils and sugars, salt and molasses.
I sometimes add it to sauces for a bit of a nutty/Thai flavour. I pour the sauce over rice noodles or stir-fried vegetables or sautéed tofu or all three at once.
I like it on celery. And I love West African peanut soup.
I like peanut butter spread thinly on whole grain toast for breakfast or a bit more thickly on a PLOT sandwich for lunch.
Many people think of peanut butter as a “sweet” which can only be eaten with other sweets like honey or jelly or banana. Or remember that Marshmallow Fluff stuff? In the olden days when more superhumans like me roamed the earth, kids used to bring Fluffernutter sandwiches for lunch – on Wonder Bread. What could be more nutritious than white bread and marshmallow? (Click the link for more great Fluff recipes).
I generally like my peanut butter with something not sweet; though the occasional PB&J can be just the thing.
There’s a heroine in some book series I read who is always eating peanut butter and pickle sandwiches. It sounds intriguing. I haven’t tried that one. I can’t remember if she uses dill or sweet & sour pickles. I’m sure there are a lot of other interesting and delicious peanut butter sandwich ideas out there…. (hint, hint)
Meanwhile, you should all be aware that I always carry a jar of peanut butter in my purse in case of emergencies. It’s much more effective (and deadly) than mace or pepper spray.
 An interesting bit of trivia is that it has been proven through scientific study that many Fluffernutter kids grow up to form coalition governments.
The Finals: If you voted last week, I humbly thank you. You have catapulted me into the Finals in the Canadian Blog Awards. We’ve come so very far together and I need you now more than ever. So, please go vote again this week so I can be named Supreme Ruler of the New Blog Universe. This is the last and final round. CLICK HERE. Tell your friends. I figure my biggest competition is coming from Zucket. She’s young and energetic, has a lot of young, energetic fans and a very hip, savvy, swingin’, happening blog.