(Note: Sorry, no photos)
The following conversation was recently overheard at the office. Co-workers Mimsy and Lily were discussing their teenaged sons. (Note: This conversation has been condensed considerably in order to highlight only the salient points and not bore you to tears with interminable digressions).
Mimsy: My son, Willy is such a slob, I hate even going into his room. His clothes and his stuff are everywhere and his floor around and under his bed is littered with used Kleenex.
(Uma and I, in the next cubicle are trying to work, as usual. We look at each other and stifle a giggle)
Lily: What’s with all the Kleenex?
Mimsy: I don’t know. He has allergies or something. He has to blow his nose a lot, he says.
(Uma and I laugh silently, but heartily)
Lily: Wow, has he had allergy tests?
Mimsy: No, he won’t go. And they’re usually not too bad. It must be something in his bedroom. We might have to take up the carpeting. I hate going in there and having to pick up all those crusty Kleenexs every week.
(Uma and I, weak with supressed laughter have slid out of our chairs and are somewhat awash with tears of mirth)
Lily: Well, I guess I’m lucky. My little Dickie is quite tidy. He even gets up early and washes his own top sheet several times a week!
Mimsy: Really? Does he do any other laundry? And why would he wash his top sheet so much?
Lily: He does a lot of art in his room and he says he keeps getting paint on the sheet.
(Uma and I, on the floor, are unable to catch our breaths and are turning unbecoming shades of red)
Uma: (gasping for air whilst trying to whisper discretely)…Oh my god…should we…tell them???
Me: (hyperventilating and wiping eyes) Nah…
The conversation in the next cubicle eventually turns to other matters, giving us a chance to recover. Then:
Uma: (Earnestly) Thank goodness my little Randy is only 12 and too young for that stuff.
Me: (Loudly) Bwah-ha-HA-HA-ha-ha-ha-ha (Note: I have three younger brothers)
Uma: (Shocked) WHAT ? No way!!! SHUT UP!!! He’s too young ………………………………………………….. isn’t he? ……………………… And he never washes his sheets and there are no crusty Kleenexs or sports socks under his bed ….. (she says pleadingly)
Me: How long does he stay in the shower?
Uma looks stunned.
So, off we went to consult some of the guys to see at what age boys begin developing allergies and/or a passion for long showers and/or begin doing art projects in their bedrooms.
The guys claimed not to be able to remember. We reckon maybe they were just shy.
Sooo, here’s an anonymous poll that will help Uma (and other women like her) understand their sons a little better. Feel free to add any comments/advice/amusing anecdotes to this post that you feel might further help Uma (and other women like her) avoid unnecessarily embarassing their sons with questions about their laundry, allergies, bathing habits, large baggy pants or clandestine reading material.
And, because this is an equal opportunity blog, after the men’s poll, I have posted the same poll for women, though I’m sure women don’t engage in such unwholesome activity.
I shall be interested to see how the results will compare, won’t you?
And…If you’re still in the mood to vote on stuff and haven’t voted yet in the Canadian Blog Awards, why not head on over here and scroll down to vote for XUP in the Best New Blog category? If elected, I promise to insist on World Peace.