Some things I’ve never done

Warning: This is NOT a meme – just an honest sharing of information.

 Okay, there are obviously an infinite number of things I’ve never done, but these are some that I reckon most, or at least a lot of people have done and/or will do by the time they’re my age. I think actually there’s a game called “I Never”

 where one person says something they’ve never done and everyone who’s done it has to gives that person some money or something and you end up winning by never having done stuff almost everyone else has done making you the biggest dweeb in the room. But rich. So…  

  1. I’ve never been arrested, picked up or even cautioned by the police. This may not seem too unusual to some people, but there were times when it took a lot of clever dodging and weaving.
  2. I’ve never had surgery of any kind. I’ve had a couple of “procedures,” but nothing that ever warranted a hospital stay.
  3. I’ve never broken, sprained or fractured anything. (of my own)
  4. I’ve never had an x-ray other than a dental x-ray.
  5. I’ve never been married.
  6. I’ve never been on a carnival ride other than a ferris wheel and that was enough.
  7. I’ve never had anything pierced or tattooed.
  8. I’ve never been west of Ontario. (Shameful, I know).
  9. I haven’t had the flu in over 12 years and only get a cold once every few years. (I may be due; it’s been a while).
  10. I’ve never had cable TV.

And, just to prove that this really isn’t a meme, here’s an eleventh thing I’ve never done: I’ve never had sex in a car.

Advertisements

36 responses to “Some things I’ve never done

  1. Given that I am MUCH younger than you are… Ummm… I haven’t done:
    1, 2 (except to have a baby), 5.

    There rest I may cop to if you get me drunk enough.

  2. We used to play it as a drinking game. Someone would say, I’ve never kissed someone of the same sex,” and everyone who HAS done that, has to drink. Yeah . . . good way to end seriously loaded in a short period of time.

    Anyway, from your list, I share numbers 3 and 4. That’s it. Should I give you money, or do you want to drink. 😉

  3. We share #5. That’s it. Doesn’t that seem odd, given how many other things we have in common?

    (And yes, I’m including the ‘sex in a car’ thing.)

  4. I was going to say that the only one we have in common was #7 but I do have pierced ears. For some reason I was thinking “weird piercings” not regular old ear piercing which is a piercing. We’re sort of close on #9 in that as far as I know I’ve never had the flu. When I’ve told people that I’m not sure because I have had some bad colds they have insisted that if I had had the flu I would know it. I’ve done all that other stuff and for some of them, I can tell you that all you have missed is the actual experience. But I really do like telling my funny jail stories.

  5. Nat – Ha! I didn’t even go to the hospital to have my baby. You young folks have no stamina.

    Kimberly – I’ll take the alcohol. If you gave me money I’d just waste it on alcohol anyway.

    Bandobras – Don’t think I wasn’t doing some serious knocking on wood whilst writing those…not that I’m superstitious or anything, but it’s never good to tempt fate, right?

    Debra – Wanton hussy!! These are just a handful of things one of us hasn’t done –think of all the things we HAVE done that we probably have in common. (except for sex in a car — I think it’s because my misspent youth was spent out in the country where we had miles of land and dozens of outbuildings to get comfortable in and also, most of the guys drove pick-up trucks)

    Geewits – You’ve never had the flu? That’s good. Even as a child? And ya, you would know it if you’d had it. It’s not a bad cold — which is what many people call flu — it’s an “I couldn’t get out of bed if the house was on fire” kind of sick, where even the though of a drink of water makes you heave from both ends. I think I’ve only been that sick maybe twice that I remember. Not fun.

    Deb/Anonymous – All? As in all the stuff on my list or all ALL?

  6. I can only claim not to have been guilty of the first item. I’ve broken things, had a couple of surgeries, been married (twice) and had piercings my momma would weep to know about. However, I’m painfully law-abiding and have never so much as had a speeding ticket.

    So how do you get through life so… untouched (unmarred?) by it? Do you, metaphorically speaking, leave the plastic on your lampshades?

  7. Jazz – I think once you get to a certain age, you’re automatically a dweeb no matter how cool you still think you are. It’s mind-bending, really.

    Guillermo – Yes I was, but as I told someone earlier, I grew up in the country where we had acres of land and plenty of barns, sheds and storage buildings in which to be much more comfortable. And also, all the boys drove pick-up trucks — very, very uncomfortable

    Ellie – It was just never something I wanted to have done. It seemed really creepy to me and I’ve battled my daughter on it for years. I finally gave in this summer and let her get her ears pierced. It was very traumatic for me.

    Susan – I’m knocking wood here, but I guess I’ve been relatively lucky. I did get attacked by a dog when I was 4 and had to have bits of my face reconstructed — does that make up for no broken bones?

    Jobthingy – Miraculously I’ve clung to live all these years without cable. My no sex in car explanation can be found above to Guillermo and I could never decide on anything to have a tattoo of. I’m still thinking because I would like to get one some day…maybe…

  8. Re: I’ve never been arrested, picked up or even cautioned by the police. This may not seem too unusual to some people, but there were times when it took a lot of clever dodging and weaving.

    Does having a police officer knock on your car window count, when you are parked on a deserted country road?

    Oh, I guess I just answered whether I’ve had sex in a car or not.

  9. I have never had sex, never kissed nor hav I ever held hands with a guy [shaking hands doesn’t count,na]
    Am 27

  10. I too have done everything on your list.
    Not that I am proud of it but it has sure made my life interesting!

  11. I’m with you on 1-4. I know it’s not a meme – but I like it and may steal it for inspiration at a later date. Oh, and as for that last one? Oddly up until the ripe old age of 34 I could say the same thing ;->

    Oh, and Hi! about time I stopped by here given that we share many common blogs in our circle of blog friends eh?

  12. Yawn! Been there, done that.

    Re: “I’ve never broken, sprained or fractured anything. (of my own) “: Oh, XUP, you do tempt fate. True story here (yeah, I’m that old guy with a story for everything): When I was 16, my year-younger friend, who was a top-notch hockey player, had just returned home from a junior training camp, having been told to go home, play a year with the Juvenile team, and come back the next year. He commented how all through his hockey years, he had never broken a bone or taken a stitch in his life. Exactly a week later, during Juvenile tryouts, his own smartassed brother checked him into the boards, causing several fractures in his ankle, and dislocating it. All the doctor at home could do was set it in a cast to avoid further damage, and ship him to Sick Kids in Toronto for surgery (an eight-hour drive in the back of his parents’ station wagon). Doctors there put everything into place, added pins, stitched him halfway to his knee, and put him in a cast from his toes to his groin. He had to borrow my elephant pants to fit over his cast, and his mom had to rip the seams out of all of his jeans. His pro hockey dreams were dashed. Now, 34 years later, he still walks with a slight limp.

    Scared now?

    Okay, I’ll own up: I share 5 and 7 with you. Does #1 include speeding tickets and minor fender-benders, including one in which I was charged with failing to yield the right of way?

    Still hoping to break the shackles at my desk tomorrow, long enough to join the Bloggers Lunch for a half-hour or so, before the men with the butterfly nets come to haul me back.

  13. Um. Yes. Having your face ripped off by a dog when you were a child bought you a lifetime of good karma. Or at least it ought to, anyways.

  14. 1/ Arrested, charged, convicted.
    2/ Surgery on both hands when 9 yrs old. The casts ruined the whole summer.
    3/ Sprained: both ankles multiple times, right knee and right shoulder
    Broken: all fingers except my thumbs, jaw, kneecap, and six ribs all at once
    Just for good measure I have also dislocated several fingers a couple of toes and my
    shoulder twice.
    4/ Oh please I actually glow in the dark now.
    5/ Once long long ago in a galaxy far far away.
    6/ Not too many and virtually none after getting terrified at Expo 67.
    7/ I’m with you here, every time I’ve introduced new holes in my body it hurt so I don’t
    do it for fun.
    8/ All the way to the west coast,
    9/ I’m seldom ill, though I did take lots of sick days when I was working. Unlike you
    government wonks though we didn’t get paid for them.
    10/ Cable and now even satellite tv. Do you know you can watch the same 1/2 hour
    show 4 times in one day.
    11/ Vauxhall, 2 different pontiac wagons, Falcon, 2 Volkswagens, Fairlane, Datsun, Corsica, Chevy pickup.

  15. wow, did them all. really.

    only one needs clarification is #1. Never been arrested. Detained, oh yeah, one time friends and I were “detained” (cops swooped in an arrested us even clubbing one friend in his knee, threw us in their cars, whisked us to the station, interrogated us individually, then even after hours of us all saying we had no knowledge of what they were attempting to charge us with, HOURS, suddenly they realized we were not the people they were looking for, apologized, let us go.

    2-10 yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes

    bonus one, sex in a car, yes, and ONLY once in my life.

  16. 1. I’m married to a retired cop, so I’ve definitely been picked up.
    2. I’ve had dental surgery. Does that count.
    3. I broke my left forearm playing Dodge Ball in the 5th grade. (Loser)
    4. See Number 3.
    5. Married. Never been divorced.
    6. Hate carnival rides. I don’t trust that they won’t come crashing down on me.
    7. I have ear piercings and two tattoos.
    8. I’ve never been to Ontario (unless you count Ontario, California, and no one should). I have been to Victoria, though. It’s worth the trip.
    9. I get massively sick once year.
    10. I’ve never NOT had cable TV. Well, that’s no true. We got it when I was about 8, when my brother and I fought over the channel dial and broke it.

  17. UP – Hmmm – Ya I think that should count. Were you mortified?

    Anonymous – Good for you. Men are nasty, filthy animals. Take up knitting. It’s much more productive

    Lebowski – Hey, the original Lebowski is back. Sorry to hear about your flu.

    LGS – I think I could handle a very tiny tattoo somewhere on my ankle.. once I figure out what to get and whenever you’re ready, let me know.

    Bob – The best part of this whole story is the elephant pants. Please wear them tomorrow??

    Susan – Well, it wasn’t “ripped off” completely. Just bits here and there.

    Bandobras – RE: #11 – You’re single you say? Have you ever heard of hotels?

    Reeky – I think this group is ready for a whole blog post on sex in cars. Thanks for visiting. I’m going to go see your blog. You sound like someone fun.

    A&J – Absolutely. I was doing it the entire time I was writing the post – mentally and actually.

    Mo – okay #1 doesn’t count. #2 doesn’t count either. Everything else counts. #8 is about travelling across country. So, since you live in the west, have you been east? And, finally – Never NOT had cable?? Man, you’re so young. Some of us remember when there was no such thing as cable. Some of us remember when there was no such thing as colour TV.

    Dave – Okee-doh-kee. I wanted to do a post on American versions of poutine and direct them to your blog so we could all point and laugh, but I just did a food post, so it will have to wait. Let’s play WordTwist instead, okay?

    Loth – Nothing depressing about that is there? Look at me. I’m the most boring person in the universe.

  18. OMG – of course I’m late to the party when I get to be a part of an actual category! WOOT! I seriously feel like a minor celebrity. I will now bask in my 15 minutes of fame. Ahhhhhh.
    It is true though: The tiny writing in your blog does always amuse me so. Almost as much as the big writing does!!

    NEVER had cable TV? My lord. I think we might want to study you in a lab. I am dying to know, however, what of someone else’s you’ve sprained or broken. Do tell!

  19. Hunter – OK???

    Lesley – I can always count on you to pick up the subtleties. It’s actually a long and sordid list. I’m kind of a broken limb catalyst. Not that I beat anyone with crow bars or anything, I’ve just been around when people break bones quite a bit. sister – collarbone on 2 separate occasions; daughter – arm (don’t worry, they investigated..it wasn’t me); nephew – both legs at the same time; friend – one leg while trying to teach me to ski (let THAT be a lesson to him); other friend – ankle (drunk and dancing – her, not me…I’d quit dancing hours before); other friend – kneecap..winter/ice..one minute we we walking and talking the next she was down. I didn’t touch her)

    DP – We don’t get into trouble because, a) we have a much, much shorter list of things that are illegal b) we’re surefooted as mountain goats so we rarely fall and when we do we’re protected by layers and layers of eiderdown so we don’t hurt ourselves, c) it’s too cold for germs to survive for long. d) most of us aren’t married because the gays have totally ruined that sacred institution for so now we just engage in indiscrimate and frequent sex with anyone who’s parka unzips quickly. As for #11 — see b and d.

  20. 1. The first time I was picked up by the police I was sixteen. A cop car jumped the sidewalk in front of me, the cop gets out, tells me to get against the car, grabs my collar and pulls me into the backseat because I vaguely matched the description of a very recent home invader (white male, breathing, ability to walk).

    When I was eighteen I was charged with vandalizing a car. Which I did.

    The worst experience with the police was probably the night in 1995 I “accidentally” got in the middle of a manhunt after a 7-11 robber drew his gun on a cop, when a cop grabbed me and tossed me against a wall in an alley near Bell Street while two of his buddies covered him with their guns drawn.

    If a cop in Ontario, any cop, asks for your name and address you have to give it, everything else is supposed to be off limits unless there’s a legal reason. So what they’ll do is tell you they’re asking why you’re doing what you’re doing because “there’s been a rash of car thefts” or “there’s been some break-ins” which may or may not be bullshit.

    I’ve been “cautioned” a couple dozen times by the police (OPP, SQ, RCMP). The last one was last spring when I was out for a 3am walk. I don’t particularly enjoy being harassed by the police, and I don’t respond well to it. So on this last occasion I kept asking them about the “rash of stolen cars” in my little village they were using as a pretence to stop me while I was walking. It escalated pretty quickly to the passenger-side cop getting out of the car with his hand on his holster. Good times.

    2. Knee and throat.

    3. Chipped two vertebrae; sprained each ankle and wrist more than a dozen times; separated shoulder…

    4. see #3

    5. me neither

    6. no rollarcoasters, no ferris wheels

    7. no piercings or tattoos, but only due to cost

    8. lived in Vancouver for six months

    9. no colds or flu’s since I stopped working in an office.

    10. got cable for the first time three years ago. Still not sure if it’s worth having.

    11. I’ve had sex in a car… not worth it.

  21. i’ve played that game before. to have done something does not prove much. the time between not having done something and having done something, you don’t change. you may feel cooler but you aren’t any different. the only difference is that you think you have gained more wisdom or knowledge from the experience, but it really doesn’t matter.

    ferris wheels are scarier than other rides because you’re just sitting there all high up. With flippy and swirly roller coasters at least any fear of heights you have is outweighed by your fear of falling off an upside down car going really fast.

    who even wants to have sex in a car? the only i can think of is feeling like you’re “being bad” which is sometimes fun. it only proves that you are too lame to find somewhere to go or too horny to wait until later. lol…

  22. Becky- A sheltered life like mine!

    Gabriel – #1 Holy crap!

    Aziza – Hey – long time, no hear… You kids today have no sense of adventure. Back in the olden days parents wouldn’t let your boyfriend/girlfriend sleep over and “places to go” were few and far between, unless you lived in the sticks like I did!