Mostly I eat disgustingly healthy stuff. No processed food, prepared foods or fast food. No candy, cakes, cookies, chocolate bars or soda. I don’t chew gum or eat ice cream. I make my own lunches to bring to work and spend time in the evening preparing a real supper.
And I’m okay with all that. I’m not a big fan of all that sugary, fake stuff. I do have one secret crap food weakness though, and that is potato chips.
Crunchy, salty, delicate orbs of oily potato goodness.
Who can resist?
That’s why I don’t keep them in the house; because I can’t resist. I hear them calling from the pantry cupboard. I can taste them; feel them crumble between my teeth; melt on my tongue. They don’t stay in the cupboard for long.
There are some there right now – left over from the teenagers junk food fest the other day. I haven’t been able to think of anything else, only chips. I can’t haven’t fully enjoyed any of the food I’ve eaten today because the chips are there, in the background, tantalizing my taste bud imagination. The chips seduce from behind the cupboard door, quietly, confidently. They know it’s only a matter of time.
I must stay away from the cupboard.
They’re Lay’s Classic. Shiny yellow, red and white bag. The King of Chips. Every one perfection. No brown rims of leftover peel. No green aliens. No overcooked freaks. Just the right amount of bubbly ones to make them special — a treat. No weird flavours or ripples. No pretense to healthiness.
I don’t care about kettle-cooked chips, baked chips, hardbite chips, Pringles – pretenders to the chip throne. I don’t want onion flavours or vinegar or ketchup, barbequed, ranch or chicken flavoured chips. Just plain salty potato-flavoured chips.
Remember when they made orange and grape flavoured chips? What were they thinking?
Other countries also have some interesting potato chip flavours I don’t care about:
- Argentina has Steak with Onions and Sweet Peppers; Patagonia Lamb or Grilled Provolone Cheese.
- New Zealand, I’m told, has Honey Soy Chicken, Mature Cheddar & Caramelized Onion, Roast Chicken, Sage & Onion and Smoked Salmon & Capers
- The UK (who are pretty innovative when it comes to potatoes) boast the most flavours including:Black Olive & Garlic, Black Pepper & Ginger, Horseradish & Sour Cream, Marmite Yeast Extract, Pickled Onion and a long-time Coronation Street favorite – Prawn Cocktail.
- The Japanese (and who knew they even had chips?) love Caesar Salad chips, Caramel Butter, Tofu in a Spicy Pork Sauce and Tandori Chicken flavoured.
I couldn’t find any comprehensive information on US favourites. I’m sure they’re interesting, though. Most American stuff is.
The top three best selling flavours in Canada are: Regular, Salt & Vinegar and Sour Cream & Onion. We’re plain, regular folk. We like our potato products with normal, potato flavourings, apparently.
Plain, boring old salty potato crispiness….
Well…. I have to go…um…er… do something now….