Let’s Look at Buttocks

bunvariety

Buttocks are weird, aren’t they? They’re purveyors of the nastiest human secretions and yet are considered sexy.

 Are you a butt watcher?

There are so many different shapes and sizes, I’m always amazed that they all fit into such a relatively limited variety of pant sizes.

bootybuttGirl in blue jeans short shorts isolatednotbutt1funnymanvictoria20beckham-jtm-026968varietyassbutt

 

Of course some butts are squeezed so tightly into their pants I don’t know how the butt’s owner continues to breathe and remain conscious.

tootight1

 Looks like this isn’t the first time she’s burst out of these.

Even more amazing is how all these different buttocks fit on standard-sized things like bathtubs, toilets, or seats on public transportation or restaurants.

Sometimes when I see a very large person emerge from one of those tiny public washroom cubicles (especially on airplanes or trains) I wonder how they manage. It would think this could be a serious problem.

Some people like to expose their buttocks. Mostly it’s accidental and not very pleasant.

buttcrack

Sometimes it’s sexy.

female-plumber

And sometimes it’s just hilarious.

 ass-crack

Bubble butts, (or booty butts) were all the rage for a while, thanks to Jennifer Lopez.

jlo

People were getting butt implants and wearing fake buttocks so they could look more like JLo.

fakebutt

Now she’s become something of a persona non grata. I’m not sure exactly what happened there – overexposure maybe. Anyhow, the sale of silicone buttocks has dropped.

The new Booty Queen is Kim Kardashian, but not too many people are rushing out to acquire the KKar butt.

kim

I think it confuses women because this is the butt they’ve been dieting to lose all these years.

She’s got kind of a 1950s bombshell thing going on back here, dontcha think? Kind of refreshing to see flesh making something of a comeback.

Skill Testing Quiz

Here are some fun pictures of buttocks. Some belong to celebrities; some belong to real people; some belong to barnyard animals; one belongs to me.

1.1

2.2

3.31

4.4

5. 5

6. 6

7. 7

8. 8

9. 9

10. 10

11. 11

12. 121

And, finally, here’s a butt-related photo that’s just cute.

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34 responses to “Let’s Look at Buttocks

  1. You said ‘buttocks’! Hee! I love this post. It made me smile and think at the same time. I don’t know if this is sharing time or not, but I have an ample bottom, and it gets way more “positive” attention from strangers than I would like.

  2. I came of age during the mid sixties, an age I’m soon going to be if I live long enough, but minis and hot pants were coming in style in south Ontario at the same time. As a result of this I have always been a keen observer of butts and legs and find them way sexier than boobs. That being said I do think that for the most part these should remain covered unless in the company of special friends and special occasions.

  3. Well, I’m guessing you’re not number 4, 7, 8, 9 or 10. If you are any of the others, you have been blessed with a pretty good butt. Number 2 perhaps?

    One of the reasons I like watching baseball so much, is I love how the players’ butts look in the uniforms. There is something about the New York Yankees uniforms that really makes their butts look good. And grey flannel slacks make men’s butts look pretty good too. I never notice women’s butts unless they’re really obvious, and then I try not to notice.

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  5. Missy – Yes, this is the perfect time to share such things. If not here and now; when and where?

    Bandobras – Well, if it’s any consolation, I think the days of butt crack fashions (except for plumbers) are waning (yes, like the moon).

    Jo – Baseball uniforms ARE very flattering — football, soccer, basketball, hockey not so much. Rah-rah for baseball. And flannel and denim.

    Bob – Patience my son, patience. The game has just begun and you didn’t even play. Care to make a guess?

  6. Well, I think you’re a she. You don’t stike me as a leather skirt wearing type. Although… you could be. Hmmmm…. I’ll pick #1 or #2.

    (Love this post.)

  7. 1. Winona Ryder
    2. XUP
    3. Angelina Jolie, back when she had meaty arms.
    4. Brett Favre
    5. Adriana Lima
    6. Vince Vaughn
    7. Cows
    8. Carl Weathers
    9. Katie Price
    10. Cowboy from the village people
    11. Posh Spice
    12. XUP again
    13. Ben Stiller, Katherine Heigl, Ron Perlman.

  8. Bob – No need to cringe. I would be proud to call any of these my own (except the 2 cows… although I’m a bit envious of their udders)

    Nat – You didn’t know I’m a “she”? My picture is in my profile. Glad you love the post.

    Guillermo – WELL! #12 is a man, but nice butt. On a totally unrelated topic, did you know my grandmother was half Spanish?

    Brad – You never fail to crack me up. NEVER! I think you actually got 3 of them right. I don’t actually know who those last 4 are, though. However, so far you’re the lead contender for the skill-testing question prize. You’re first in line for a magical night at Casa del XUP.

    Heather – Really? you didn’t know? That one with the long heart-shaped butt is really weird, isn’t she? I bet people point and laugh all the time. She should wear low-rider jeans instead.

  9. Well this post oughta dial up your Google perv quotient.

    Do you think that one woman (second picture from top of post) is really shaped like that, or could it be some Photoshoppin’ going on?

    I also guess that you are #2

    Brad makes me laugh.

  10. Enjoyed the butts.
    How long did it take you to find all the pics you wanted? Or had you been collecting them for awhile, filing them away in your butt-post folder?
    I’m rubbish at hunting for pics for my blog, and never happy with what I find.
    Not that I’m looking for butt pics. There are special sites for those.
    Oh, and the answer to the quiz: your butt is the right one.

  11. You wrote about Butts and then used the word Crack in a response, that was pretty awesome.

    This is why i don’t do crack…I am not doing a drug named after my ass.

  12. Now this was a cool post! I have to say I’ve wondered about large butted people in the airplane stalls and such too. Not exactly something you can just walk up and ask someone casually though. 😉

  13. Alison -I’m pretty sure that chick is for real. I’ve actually seen butts like that. It’s phenomenal. And ya, that Brad, he’s hilarious. Have you read his blog?

    Andrew – Hey, welcome. I’m thinking you’re here via Zoom? The picture hunting was a quest done at odd moments at work and home over the last couple of days — some are actual personal photographs, too. I suspect I’m going to get hauled into the office for some of my search requests, but I think I can explain.

    Cedar – You shouldn’t exclude drugs because they have an ass-related name. You should exclude them because they f**k up your brain.

    DFlySqrl- Welcome to the blog and I’m glad you’re enjoying the butt post. Do you have a blog? There’s no link. I’d like to visit.

  14. This is the reason I love your blog. You can take something as ordinary as butts and find a way to talk about tastefully and humorously. Well done!

    (You’re #2, aren’t you? Nice butt.) 🙂

  15. my mom looked over at my screen and asked me what i was doing as i looked at this post…haha. butts are definitely the sexiest part of women.

  16. I had a gifted butt when I was young and discovered the power of the butt in an awkward manner. To this day, I still remember something I forgot to ask/say just after I have supposedly finished a conversation. As a 16 year old, I would start to walk off at work and then turn around for that last question to find the grown men/managers staring at my butt. I was so naive at first, I would run to the bathroom to see what was on my pants. After childbirth I never got that butt back even when I took all those dance classes. I am a butt watcher and love a particular type of butt on men. And I look at women’s butt’s too. When Julianne Hough wears mini gold-sequined shorts on “Dancing with the Stars” I feel like an old pervert. I can’t even imagine how men feel!

  17. Kimberly – There’s nothing ordinary about butts, but thanks. Glad you enjoyed the buttumentary

    Aziza – Am I going to get in trouble for corrupting a minor? I should have a disclaimer on this blog maybe.

    Geewits – HA! I finally found a chink in that calm, cool, collected facade of yours. Who knew a little butt perv was lurking in you? And I’ll bet they’re still staring at your gifted butt when you’re not looking. You should carry a little rear-view mirror so you can check. (It could also come in handy for some inconspicuous rear-viewing of your own).

  18. Mine’s really only good for sitting on, I’m afraid.

    This is Stella D, by the way, using a new identity. I know, I’m so James Bond. Come and see my new site fairstar.wordpress

  19. Fairstar – Had a look at the new blog – poor you! But good luck with the new blog and the job hunt. I’ll change your bookmark.

    Daffy – Well, they have some mighty fine udders….

    Ellie – Yes, Brad is something of an expert on many, many things as you no doubt realize if you’ve ever read his blog. I think about 3 of his guesses are right, including the cows.

    Jazz – That seems to be the general conscensus. I wonder why?

  20. XUP: Rearview mirror! Good one!

    Geewits: “I feel like an old pervert. I can’t even imagine how men feel!” I’d say you’ve pegged it, although feeling like an old pervert is a good thing, right?

  21. Bob – Thanks

    Bandobras – Huh? Would you like me to edit that comment so it makes sense?

    Jobthingy – I wonder why everyone thinks that’s me?

  22. I’m with Jo! A man’s butt in a baseball uniform? Oh. My. God. (I truly am a butt girl – a great butt on a guy is one of my favorite physical traits.)

    It’s probably some kinda butt envy SINCE I DON’T HAVE ONE.

    I love this post!!

  23. Hunter – Ah, you’ve gone from intrepid fashion blogger to poet! Nicely done.

    Lesley – Aw shucks, you say that about all my posts. I have butt envy too. I think we discussed something similar on your blog once, didn’t we?