What Americans Should Know About Immigrating to Canada … just in case …

Like many Americans today, our good friend from Bohunk, Mississippi, Brad Brown is extremely concerned about the future of his country and what will become of bleeding-heart liberals like him should Sarah Palin become Queen.

So, like many Americans before him, his thoughts have turned to escaping to Canada at the first hint of trouble. To that end, and because he’s a nice, though rather misguided, guy, Brad Brown has written what he believes to be the definitive document on How to Immigrate to Canada.

Unfortunately, Bohunk Mississippi’s educational system leaves much to be desired, so most of his “facts”, while delightfully humorous, are are messed up.

Canada IS a friendly and welcoming nation and we’d be tickled pink to have you all come and live here if the gun-totin’ rednecks yahoos take over your country. We particularly like people with funny accents.

And, yes we do have free healthcare AND same-sex couples can get married anywhere in the country legally and are entitled to all the rights and benefits of any other married or common-law couples AND medical marijuana is legal and sold by the government AND most of our fundamentalist nuts are confined to institutions, while those allowed to live in society are treated with the same respect given to all other mentally challenged people.

HOWEVER, Brad Brown seems to think Canada has some sort of immigration “procedure”. This is not true. Oh, there’s a pretty website and application forms and some other documents, but they were all just produced as make-work projects for executives at the Department of Immigration. You can send in an application, but they have no one to process them and they have nothing in place to enforce any of the crazy regulations they talk about on the website.

So, all you really have to do is pack your bags and come on over. There are no walls or barriers at our borders unlike the borders from Mexico to the United States. Canadian Customs and Immigration officers are just public servants like the rest of us who show up and do their 7.5 hours every day, but don’t have any real interest or investment in their positions. As long as you don’t look really obviously dangerous, (e.g.: pointing a large, loaded gun at the Customs officer) they’ll wave you through and you’re ready to begin your new life as a Canadian.

You’ll want to find your place in our cultural mosaic as soon as possible so here are a few pointers:

  • Forget everything you’ve ever heard or seen about Canadians in American TV shows and movies. For instance, don’t wear plaid and don’t say “aboot”.
  • You can say “eh” once in a while, but only to Americans because it makes them giggle.
  • Don’t ever drink American beer. No Canadian would ever do that willingly – unless maybe there was absolutely no other kind of beer or alcoholic beverage of any kind around, but even then real Canadians will look at you suspiciously.
  • Don’t laugh at the money and exclaim how pretty the colours are. Remember the one dollar coin is called a Loonie, because it has a picture of a loon on it; and the two dollar coin is called a Toonie, because it’s worth two loonies. Act like you don’t even notice that the five dollar bill is blue or the ten dollar bill purple. The twenty is green, so that’s easy. You don’t have to worry about any denominations higher than that because you’ll never see them.
  • Although you all learned in school that the US is the biggest and best country in the world, Canada’s land mass is actually about 200 times greater than yours. So, we don’t all know each other and you can’t visit the whole country in one weekend. You can’t even visit one province in one weekend.
  • We have four seasons; it’s not always winter. So bring a variety of clothing.
  • While most of us live in the woods or on wheat farms, we also have 3 real cities (Toronto, Montreal and Vancouver) so you’ll still be able to go there and get your hair done on Saturdays and go to movies and nightclubs and eat at fine restaurants. However, we rarely deep-fry anything, so that might take some adjusting.
  • Don’t worry, we don’t all speak French and most of us don’t like Celine Dion any more than you do.
  • You need to learn to say “sorry” a lot: for instance when bumping into someone accidentally or even when someone bumps into you – even if they do it on purpose – apologize sheepishly. Also, say thank-you constantly. For instance, if you go to exchange some crappy piece of merchandise that you paid through the nose for and the belligerent “customer service” service person finally and grudgingly agrees to replace the item, (but only after you’ve wept and pleaded). You take the item and say thank you like he’s done you a big favour.
  • Always complain about the weather. Every day. If the weather is perfect, say, “ya, but it’s gonna snow later on tonight, eh?”
  • Act really, really offended if someone asks you if you’re American.
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58 responses to “What Americans Should Know About Immigrating to Canada … just in case …

  1. Thanks for the tips. I’ll be sure to act according to your wise words when and if I make my move across the border.

  2. One time I saw two people bump into each other–I was sitting a few feet away and saw them collide–and I mumbled “Excuse me” under my breath. Yup, I take this whole Canadians-apologize-a-lot thing to a whole new level.

  3. I thought the gun-toting yahoos had been in White House for the last 8 years, and they were going for another four?

    I would like to add “Take off…” to list of things we don’t say.

    We had a couple visiting us from New York City (we kept apologizing for Ottawa — really it doesn’t compare.) I’d warned them about apologizing all the time. They didn’t believe me that you apologize if someone bumps into you. He didn’t believe me, then it happened. So when I visited them, he looked me in the eye and he said. “New Yorkers don’t apologize. Ever. So you don’t either while you’re here.”

  4. Thanks! but I think we’ll just visit now and again.

    We do really like Canada and are looking forward to our next visit. It’s been too long.

    With family, friends, and a home paid off in the States, I don’t think we’ll be moving — at least not right now.

    Besides, our guy is going to win! — unless “they” steal it again.

  5. I would have to second the “Never drink American beer” commandment. To be totally dishonest with you, everything I learned about Canada I learned by watching “21 Jump Street.”

  6. Thanks for this very informative guide. I am already painfully polite so I guess I am on my way to being a Canadian. Plus I actually like ice hockey…that’s got to be worth a gazillion immigration points,eh?

  7. John Cleese was on one of the late night talk shows several years ago, during the Clinton years and was asked the difference between England and America. The answer applies pretty much to Canada as well
    The 3 main differences.

    1/ If we hold a world championship we invite other countries to play.

    2/ We speak english.

    3/ If you meet our head of state you only have to go down on one knee.

  8. lol, I never really thought about it before, but we say sorry like that when we bump into each other in the UK too.

  9. Great tips XUP! I have printed it and will always have a copy of it in my nap sack!

    Been to Canada and loved it…twas the summer though.
    Sorry I missed the winter …or… am I?

  10. Dr. Monkey – I hope you won’t have to, but if you do, rest assured Canada is insanely in love with monkeys

    Mary Lynn – Oh ya! I’ve done that, too – secretly apologizing for 3rd parties. I was sitting on a bus the other day and some woman who apparantly had just learned to walk, fell into me, smacking me with her back and then stepping on my foot as she tried to get herself back together. And I said sorry. She did, too, of course.

    Nat – There are worse things a person could say about a nationality than “they apologize all the time.” It means we’re still connected as human beings in my book. I’d hate it if people kept bumping into each other and pretending it never happened or that the other person didn’t exist/register.

    Mike – Keep the faith! Let me know if you’re headed toward Ottawa — we’ll have some popcorn and wine… your wife can make the popcorn and I’ll bring the wine.

    Brad – I think between us we have every immigration eventuality covered.

    Violetsky – Yes, I’ve caught myself doing that. I think that might be taking things too far, though. I really need to draw the line at talking with inanimate objects.

    Linsey – Oh boy! I think you guys would make excellent Canadians. Let me know when you get across the border and I’ll meet you somewhere for lunch.

    Lebowski – Really? That’s the ONLY reason? Come on, there must be something else you like about Canada?

    LGS – You definitely get points for being polite and points for being a hockey fan, but you lose points for calling it “ice” hockey. Hockey is hockey. Those other UK types of hockey like, floor hockey and field hockey and street hockey are defined with adjectives. Hockey is not.

    Bandobras – I think that joke lost something once Clinton was no longer in the White House. You might want to revise point #3

    Sorry – That’s probably where we got it from. We still cling pretty closely to our colonial masters. We watch Coronation Street. Women go weak in the knees for a British accent. We drink a lot of tea and beer. Bagpipes are required for formal occasions. We spell stuff with ‘ou”.

    CP – Actually they are teaching it in schools now without the “ou”. My daughter spells things “color”, “neighbor” and points and laughs at me when I still spell things with the “u”. Also the “re” spellings in “theatre”, “centre”, etc.. are going out of style. So I think you’ll be okay.

    Hunter – No all our seasons are fun in different ways. You just have to be willing to embrace whatever Ma Nature throws at you

  11. ::too busy to leave a proper comment as i’m feverishly taking down notes for my immigration to canada::

    I will say, though, I should fit right in as I apologize for other’s mishaps all the time. (laughing at mary lynn’s comment) Ex-mates will tell you that I never say “I’m sorry”…they’re full of it; that’s often the last thing they hear as we make our final part, “I’m sorry I ever met you!”

    Sorry; I took this comment in a totally different direction. Ah, but see…I am apologetic; therefore, I am Canadian.

  12. Although you all learned in school that the US is the biggest and best country in the world…

    Actually, this isn’t an American phenomenon. Patriotism is taught everywhere. And unfortunately, ignorance about each other is on both sides of the borders. While Americans know squat about Canada, what Canadians DO know about the US are mostly rumor-based and exaggerated truths.

    Oh and by the way, another big misconception that Canucks have of the states is that we’re a “melting pot” and not the “cultural mosiac” that Canada is. That’s is so false it’s not even funny. We are called a “tossed salad” because when you immigrate here, you can be who you are, read newspapers in your own language, eat your own food, have your own parades, buy food from your own markets, celebrate your own culture — yet still call yourself an American.

    At the end of the day, there’s no difference between Canada and the states in regards to multiculturalism. Surely, there are some parts of the US that are hick-towns where there aren’t many ethnic groups, but the hick-towns do *NOT* represent the entire US and its people.

    It would be great one day when our neighbors to the North stop judging Americans by their extremists. Yes, it’s the extremists that say we’re better than you. Not mainstream Americans. Here’s some trivia: There are more Americans that hate their country than there are Canadians. Trust me. I live here. Anti-Americanism is more common here than in the rest of the western world.

    Secondly, you people need to realize that while we are similar in many ways, we are also different in many ways. You Canadians do realize that America and Canada are two different countries and will have different cultures, don’t you? Why do I say this? Because for some godforsaken reason, you guys expect Americans to be the same. But when you guys come over here, we don’t harass you because you’re “different” (for the most part!) We Americans actually LIKE you. 🙂

    Oh and as an aside, thanks for the tips on making apologies when you bump into someone in Canada. Over here in the states, we spit in each other’s face and then murder their first born son if we feel a bump.

  13. One more thing, you guys don’t have “free” health care. You have affordable health care. So long as you continue to pay in taxes and/or at the gas pump higher prices, it’s not free.

    You are a product of envy over here in the states, but I personally prefer the way France and other European countries do their health care which is public-private. That’s the way to go at least for me.

    Yes, I do also agree that Canadians are humble…. until they are around Americans. Then we are forced to listen to how much better they are. That gets old after a while.

    There is good and bad everywhere. Just wish more people could mature-up and see that and keep their holier-than-thou attitudes to themselves.

  14. Like Brad in Mississippi, we are seriously contemplating our options if things don’t go our way on Tuesday, so these tips are really helpful and timely. Thank you! I’m going to start practicing my “sorry’s” and “thank you’s” immediately. Just in case.

  15. Lebowski -Of course.

    OTC – Aw – you don’t have to take notes since you’ll be marrying a Canadian

    Virgomonkey – It’s always nice when the first time someone deigns to comment on your blog it’s to get on their high-horse and berate you for something. Although, I’m not even sure what your point is exactly. This post doesn’t contain one single solitary insult or put-down toward Americans. If anything, it’s poking fun at Canadians. I guess you missed the whole “fun” concept of this blog, too. It’s a companion piece to one written by another blogger who is American and who, like a lot of other Americans have been joking around that they’ll be immigrating to Canada if the Republicans win this election. No one takes this jocularity seriously, except you. But then, of course, you don’t need an actual reason to launch into this diatribe since it seems to be some sort of obsession with you judging from YOUR bizzaro blog. Your narrow-minded ignorance of “the world”, our country and your own country is clear with every sentence you write. While I always appreciate a good debate on this blog, I have very little time for your brand of stupidity, so please confine your inane rambling to your own blog.

    Kimberly – Not to worry, it will all come naturally to you once you switch to Canadian beer.

    Missy – Oh, we could come pick you up? Or you could fly? Or, if you’d rather you could just stay put and we’ll keep in touch via the internet.

    Geewits – It’s too bad your experience with Canada was Vancouver where it rains constantly. It also rains constantly on the east coast (which is one reason I moved away from there. It can get depressing after a while). The rest of the country has plenty of sunshine, though — not Texas-level sunshine, but still… not rain.

  16. “Most of us don’t like Celine Dion any more than you do.”

    Shhhh… don’t let anyone know she is really Canadian. 🙂

  17. 1) I’ll just be glad when we finally get the Internet up here.

    2) Look at a map. We’re bigger and we’re on top. If this was prison, the US would be Canada’s bitch.

  18. Bandobras – Well she obviously can’t read, so maybe she was one of those who fell through the cracks.

    Brad – Did you see her website? She’s like this every damn day.

    Jo – Well, actually, she’s from Quebec

    Bob – Please. We don’t want to scare anyone.

    Meloukhis – Yup! Easy as pie. mmmmmm, pie….

  19. How nice of you to boil it down that way. I’ll have to send your list to the Americans I know who are going to emigrate (again!) if the republicans get in. Funy how none of them actually do it. Cause we’d love to have them, being so nice and all…

  20. VirgoMonkey THOSE PEOPLE have American Television shows, they know what we are like. So, EXCUSE YOU.

    Be nice to the Canadians we may need them some day.

  21. If not for the fact that my grandfather and his relatives realized that they could make a whole lot of money bootlegging whiskey down Lake Champlain during Prohibition, I probably would have been born and raised in the Great White North and wouldn’t have to think about emigrating. But, Prohibition ended, and they liked it here so they stayed. So here I am.*

    “… and don’t say “aboot”. ”

    Aboot certainly is an exaggeration, but their is a tendency for Canadians (in the Ontario/Quebec region at least) to clench their teeth and shorten vowel sounds. Maybe it’s the cold weather.

    “Don’t ever drink American beer. No Canadian would ever do that willingly …”

    I certainly hope that you referring to Bud/Miller/Coors/Labatts/Molson. Because there is a whole fleet of American beer out there that is outstanding. Might I suggest Victory, Stone, or Rogue? Of course, to be fair, Unibroue is probably (or was until it was bought by Sleeman) one of the best breweries in North America.

    “… and most of us don’t like Celine Dion any more than you do. ”

    What rational person would?

    “You need to learn to say “sorry” a lot:”

    Don’t you mean “soary”?

    Honestly, I love Canada. My mother took us kids up to Montreal, Trois Rivieres, and Quebec City at least once a year. I spent two weeks biking down the St.Lawrence as a teenager. In college, I spent many weekends crossing the border to enjoy your country (and the lower drinking age). When I was applying to graduate school (both times) I had my eye out for schools there. When my wife was looking for a post-doc, we always considered Canada an option. I visited Toronto for the first time a few years ago and have to say it is a first class city; I would take it over New York any day. So, keep up the good work. I love visiting and if things down south ever go south, well I know where I’ll be heading.

    * I’m not joking about the bootlegging thing. Turns out many of my Canadian ancestors participated in unsavory enterprises. I thought it would be the basis for a good novel: young man traces his ancestry in Canada only to find out they were knaves and rapscallions. Then I saw The Shipping News. I didn’t know that novel had already been written.

  22. TORONTO??? Are you freakin’ kidding me???? It’s a giant sized toilet, especially compared to Ottawa.
    Seriously, it IS a nice place to visit, but I’ve lived there on four different occasions, and couldn’t get out fast enough! That’s where I left to come to Ottawa almost four years ago, and I plan on staying here at least until I retire in about 14 years. Hell, I just bought my first-ever home here.

  23. I am so bookmarking this post! I, myself, have threatened to move north (coming from Florida, waaaaaaaay north) if the whiny wingwoman from Wasilla ends up in the Vice Presidential mansion.

    At any rate, I’m a fellow NaBloPoMo blogger stopping in to say hello. In addition to blogging daily, I’m trying to visit lots of new blogs on the list and leave comments. Stop by The Zone and say hi: testosteronezone.wordpress.com

  24. Jazz – Ya, I remember last time how there was a hue and cry about immigrating. I wonder if anyone actually did?

    Cedar – Really, we don’t want her kind up here anyway, let her blather on. Defending the “superiority” of Amurika is her personal mania as you can see from her blog. I’m sure she’s got tons of ideas on what makes Amurika great and lists of things and people to do away with to make Amurika even greater.

    Tantalus – I know lots of Canadians whose families made quite a bit of money during prohibition, too. And I’m sure there are many, many fine American microbrewries and beers. And I’m glad you’ve been to other other parts of Canada as well, because, really, like Bob says, Toronto is kind of embarassing in many ways. And, maybe we do speak without opening our mouths wide enough. I’ll have to pay attention. I think we speak faster — maybe that’s how our vowels get shortened. Except that “aboot” is really longer than “about”. It’s a mystery.

    Bob – Toronto’s not all bad…there’s the…. um…er… and…OH, don’t forget…no… Really, there are lots of big buildings and awesome restaurants and great Broadway shows and if you’re in the right neighbourhood…well, I wouldn’t raise a child there… but for a single person…

    Alto2 – Thanks for visiting! I’m pretty sure I’m not going to be blogging daily this month since I’ve already missed yesterday, but I’ll be checking in regularly with the other Nablopomo folks. Good luck!

  25. oh my oh my oh my…

    A few comments…

    -I know it’s old and it’s lame, and I’m sure that virgomonkey will take offence because Canadian humour is apparently so high brow that the average American cannot comprehend, but… what do American Beer and having sex in a canoe (a truly Canadian activity! heh) have in common?… they’re both fucking close to water…. bah-doom-boom!

    Okay, Okay… seriously….

    -Celine Dion is Canadian?!

    -We also wear Poppies from about Hallowe’en through to Remembrance day.

    -You must learn to eat the Kraft Dinner and Poutine AND ENJOY IT!

    -When asked if someone can pick you up something at Tim’s, the obligatory answer is “a Large Double Double and a Crueller”. Don’t rock the boat by asking for any of that fancy Starbucks shit. While there’s a lot of ‘em in Canada, it’s mostly tourists and other foreigners that pay the equivalent of a week’s salary on a single coffee. If there’s no Tim’s in the area… (in which case, you might want to check the map as you’ve probably ended back in the US) you can of course accept a coffee from the Second Cup.

    -We are a Hockey Nation, even if you do not enjoy, watch or indeed even understand the game, you are expected to know your local team and root for them by putting flags on your car, drinking out of oversized thermosed mugs at the office, know the score from the game the night before, know who is to blame when they loose a game or the season and at the drop of the dime paint your face in the team colours… and while on sports it’s important to know that Hockey and Basketball were both created by Canadians and Lacrosse predates the European invasion.

    We have First Nations Peoples, not Indians, or Native Americans.

    We accept third place in international sporting events, and are indeed are proud we medalled at all. (This goes hand in hand with saying sorry when someone bumps into you)

    To date no other country in the world hates us. (Other than a jealous minority of Americans)

    We also do not pretend to be from another country when travelling away. We ARE Canadians, and trust me people in other countries can tell the difference between a Real Canadian and a loud obnoxious American with a brand new Canadian patch on an old knapsack…

    When we are in a foreign country we do not assume everyone speaks English, and to compensate we actually try to speak their language instead of speaking English s l o w e r and LOUDER.

    And finally while we might have General Elections more often than our neighbours to the south, they last only 6 weeks (Max) compared to 22 months, and the results are completed a couple hours after the polls closed. …but we BOTH have a remarkable track record of low voter turn out and voting in complete and utter imbeciles… So if you can handle Stephen Harper, and you should because even I will concede he’s a step above Bush, (an incredibly small step, but a step none the less) we will accept you if you fellow countrymen vote in Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones, oops! I’m sorry, McCain and Palin…

    And Bob is right… Toronto Sucks.

  26. Can I put in one point of order? The only time I have EVER seen deep fried cheesecake on a restaurant menu was in Canada – and I’m Scottish, for Pete’s sake!

  27. Yes cheesecake is ours. The Scots contribution to dessert is the deep fried Mars bar. All that sugar and extra fat, what could be better.

    Well my mom’s clouty dumpling but that’s a whole other story

  28. Only thing worse than an American being stuck under a gun-totting bible-thumping government is a Canadian stuck there!! Damn! We make the dems look like republicans! AND they make Harper look good!

    Unfortunately most of us do say aboot. But I’m right there with the eh. I have never said it in my life. I did hear it a lot in Ontario when I lived there though. I did hear the other day that ‘eh’ actually stands for Asshole… You know, “how’s the weather, eh?”

    The day after the election in 2004 the Canadian governments website had more hits than ever before. Americans looking to get oot!

  29. Jazz – Ya, that’s it.

    Kitty – Just to clarify, I know you’re not saying that all Americans are loud and obnoxious in foreign countries nor do they all expect everyone to speak English and talk to them loud and slow when they don’t. Right? I think the loud, obnoxious people are the only ones we notice abroad and often they happen to be Americans, but it would be erroneous to assume that this means all Americans are loud and obnoxious. I just wanted to clear that up. Thanks for the additional info.

    Loth. Oh my! Deep fried cheesecake. I’ve got to assume that was in the maritimes somewhere?

    Bandobras – You knew about this deep-fried cheesecake thing? Ye gods. Where did you see this?

    Helen – You lost me baby. Are you saying we’re under a gun-totin, bible-thumping government? Haper may be a bit that way, but fortunately he’s not the whole government and has a limited amount of influence. And who says “aboot”? I’ve never heard anyone say aboot unless they’re talking about footwear.

  30. ahahahahahah — thank you for the early afternoon giggle. Coming up on election day — I know I needed it. I’m sending this to one of my American friends who plans to abscond to Canada as soon as the people not working in the immigrations office decide to process he and his wife’s request to switch sides. I really do need to get up there for a visit. Every time I try, my plans get scuttled.

  31. Kitty – ha ha, I always suspected there was a red-neck lurking beneath that leopard thong.

    Kellilawless – You’ve never been to Canada? OMG. That’s just inhuman.

  32. As a former 19 year-old Detroiter who used to cross to Canada regularly to avail myself of the younger drinking age, I must proclaim my love for your country.

  33. Holy CRAP this is hysterical!! (Somehow this got by me the first time.) I have nothing witty or pithy to add. I’m laughing too hard to be at all clever. (Unless you consider snorting clever.)

  34. Christine – Yay for our lower drinking age!! And we used to cross over to your side because your bars were open longer!!

    Lesley – Any day I am able to make you snort is a day well worth getting out of bed for.. And what do you mean, it got by you the first time? Those giant beavers didn’t attract enough of your attention??

  35. It’s ok, the more people who hate Toronto stay away from my beautiful city the better it is, that way we don’t have to deal with you guys. It never cease to amaze me when I travel to Montreal to hear all these people working all week in Toronto, making good money too who are going back to their homes in Montreal. A lot of them diss the city yet will take the job… mmm…

    And I would venture that Toronto is also a nice place to raise kids, just tell that to all the families here. I don’t always hear people complaining about big bad Toronto.

    And the mistake by the lake? This is also used for Hamilton lol

  36. UA – Aw, it’s all just good natured fun… I think…How can you just hate a whole city? Especially one as diverse and multi-faceted as Toronto? It has lots of great qualities and cute neighbourhoods and wonderful restaurants and shows,etc., etc. And, like every city it also has it’s down side.

  37. Pingback: De la viña ajena [semana 45 de 2008]: inmigracion, navidad, vuelos baratos, seo, tecnologías | Los Ziegler en Canada

  38. You are hilarious! I am crying I am laughing so hard.

    My parents both fought in Canada during World War II. My dad never gave up his citizenship. But I am not sure what it is. He was born in England and sent to work on farms at the age of 12. He was an endentured servant for seven years. I don’t know about his life between 19 and 33 years old. At 33 he met and married my mom in the Canadian army and they had ten children together.

    I am trying to find out if I have any claims to become a dual or Canadian citizen? Can anyone answer this question?

  39. Ginger – Thanks. I think if you were born in a different country and immigrated when you were a child you are eligible for dual citizenship OR if both your parents were born elsewhere and became Canadians somewhere along the line you may have a claim. Consult the consulate of whatever country you want to dual with, they can tell you.

  40. A few reminders:

    1. The best way to fit in here is to pronounce “hockey” correctly. It’s not “HAHkee,” it’s “HAWkee.”

    2. Tim Horton’s is known locally as “Tim’s” or “Timmy’s.” Get a large double-double and a maple glazed.

    3. “Aboot” is a regional – mainly the St. Lawrence River Valley – pronunciation of “about.” Canada is massive, and dialects vary WILDLY.

    4. Wanna learn about Canada? C’mon up! Summers are very nice…

  41. I’m Canadian. I just want to point out, that you should NOT overdo the “eh” I agree we do say it restlessly, but unlike the movies, we use it where it is supposed to be used in a sentence. “eh” means “what do you think” so a proper sentence to say eh in would be, “wow, that’s crazy, eh?” which means “wow, that’s crazy, what do you think?” so in the movies where the Canadian characters say it all the time, wrongly, like “ouch, that hurts eh?”. you have to think, would you ever say “ouch that hurts, what do you think?” i know i wouldn’t say that, or you. so that’s the lesson on the eh. Also, we don’t have an accent compared to you, unless your talking to one of our french. other than that, you wouldn’t notice the, what i like to call, that rubberish accent the American media gives to Canadians. So watch out, if you start making fun of Canadians in our own co(u)ntry you wont have people getting mad at you, they’ll be laughing at you, because they have news for you.

  42. HA! This post is hilarious and I love your comments… I’ve been thinking about moving up to Canada (notice how I put that) for the past 10 years now. Wish I had read this post way back before I got married and had a baby!

  43. “Although you all learned in school that the US is the biggest and best country in the world, Canada’s land mass is actually about 200 times greater than yours.”

    Your quote from above, you might want to check your tone, and your facts in this statement. We aren’t the biggest, but we do have 10 time the population you do, and thats only counting whats on paper. Our growth rate is 2 times yours. The land area for Canada is 9,976,140 square kilometers, for the U.S. its 9,629,091 square kilometers. Not even 200 percent let alone 200 times as big. You do understand that 200 times greater means that your country could fit 200 U.S.s inside of it?

    Just another helpful dumb American here!

    P.S. I still plan on coming to Canada, my Girlfriend is Canadian 🙂

  44. Thedude….im pretty sure the ‘200 times’ was an exageration meant to be humerous…as was the whole blog 🙂 sarcasm is something you might want to learn if you do decide to move to Canada as it is the most prominent style of humour up here. Jus sayin….