2 totally unrelated things that made me say “holy fruking fruk”

A lot of my blog posts are inspired by other bloggers in one way or another. Sometimes I even get emails from bloggers with topics or headlines, saying “you should blog about this”.  There’s always a good reason why they didn’t want to blog about it themselves.

The intrepid Brad Brown of BradBrown.com sent me this the other day.

  

SUMMER’S EVE FEMININE  SPRAY ULTRA – EXTRA STRENGTH

I guess he didn’t feel connected enough with his feminine side to blog about it himself. I didn’t even know products like this still existed.

Did you know that Summer’s Eve mission is “to help you enjoy being a woman”? (That’s a direct quote, including the term “mission”). Here I’ve been blithly thinking I was kind of enjoying womanhood when in reality I couldn’t have been, could I,  with my crotch smelling of female crotch instead of Tropical Rain. (One of their many “natural” scents which include Island Splash and Bush Fire…… okay, I made the last one up)

Here’a handy TIP from their website:

Carry Summer’s Eve® Feminine Deodorant Spray with you all day for freshness when you need it.  Our cans fit easily in purses and handbags for your convenience.

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In other news, Geewits recently blogged about her day at the fair (State Fair of Texas) and posted a photo of the Chicken Fried Bacon stand.

I had to know what the hell chicken fried bacon was, so she posted the recipe:

Chicken Fried Bacon – Thick and peppery Farm Pac® bacon is seasoned, double-dipped in a special batter and breading and deep-fried. Served with a creamy side of ranch or honey mustard sauce (or sometimes with cream gravy).

 

Creator, Glen Kusak won the fair’s Best Taste in the Big Tex Choice Awards competition.

Shirley Weiss won the Most Creative award with her fried banana split entry: a mash of deep fried gooey banana and honey peanut butter balls surrounded by chunky fried dough and then smeared in caramel, chocolate and powdered sugar and ice cream.

Although not required, all entries in the State Fair of Texas’ food competition were deep fried.

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45 responses to “2 totally unrelated things that made me say “holy fruking fruk”

  1. My father enjoys chicken fried steak…chicken fried bacon is new to me. I suppose it will sweep the nation next fair season. Job security for cardiologists!

  2. Hey! Next time you see me being time-sucked on Facebook, spray me in the face with some of that crotch spray. (holyhell, i was becoming a zombie on that damn site…must find more eggs, must accept and send exotic plants,…)

    I say carry the crotch spray, but use it as pepper spray instead. Your attackers will run screaming in the opposite direction, but feeling fresh as newly fallen Spring rain.

    The chicken fried bacon…I prefer my clogged arteries with a side of sawmill gravy. I’ll steer clear of this dish.

    (i feel like you and i haven’t crossed paths in forever…i’m lonely…hold me) 😉

  3. Missy – Until the other day I didn’t even know that “chicken fried” meant dipped in batter and deep fried. Then there was a question about chicken-fried steak on Jeopardy last night! We don’t have chicken fried anything in Canada. I don’t mind some deep fried things, but battered AND deep fried is crossing the line — especially meat.

    Dr. Monkey – It really is shocking. Ya’ll are letting Texas get away with murder — literally.

    OTC – You really have to cut back on all the stupid stuff on Facebook and just use it to send and receive love. I can’t even wrap my arms around you anymore you are so surrounded by new friends and personal best game scores. Also, I think it would be much more fun to carry pepper spray that smells like actual crotch.

  4. Yes, I did know that deodorant for down there existed. Never understood it, and figured it would just give me one wicked infection anyway if I tried to use it!

    I had to skim the desription of the sundae because I started to gag.

  5. “our cans fit easily in purses…”
    Oh Man, that line is just screaming for a smartassed comment.

    So, is anything dipped in batter and deep-fried considered “chicken-fried”? If so, I love chicken-fried zucchini strips.

    Everything is big in Texas, including the rate of clogged arteries, heart attacks and strokes, I guess. Maybe that explains Dubya.

  6. Oh my holy hell. Do people still buy this stuff? And in a 6-pack no less.

    Deep fried bacon. I’ve got to get my hands on some of that!

  7. UP – Ya, I knew there used to be such a thing, but I thought we’d overcome that barrier and moved on. Sorry about the sundae …er… but you thought the bacon was okay???

    Bob – I think it has to be double batter dipped and maybe it has to be meat, too -‘cuz I don’t think vegetables are considered food in deep-fried land. (I’m waiting for the smart-assed comment)

    Jazz – Me too. Extra Strength yet??? I guess women who’ve been brainwashed into believing their hoo-hah stinks. Or maybe women who wear pantyhose under trousers.

    Mo – I’m beginning to think there might be a relationship between chicken fried bacon and crotch rot afterall. (Please note the bacon is not just deep-fried, it’s double battered first)

  8. Lebowski – Seriously? Chicken-fried Big Macs? That doesn’t sound right — what happens to the lettuce and special sauce? Candy bars I think I might have heard of

    Helen – O.M.G. it’s true… deep fried candy bars are for real?? So you dip them in some kind of batter and then…(wait I can’t finish this thought)…

  9. Oh yeah, the poor Scots are reeling from that abomination of the Deep Fried Mars Bar. I’m with Bob on the zucchini stips – and aubergines (eggplant) – yum.

  10. When I was a teen-ager, there was a brand called FDS (Female Deodorant Spray). Some of the naughty boys called it “For Da Snatch”.

  11. Yah for real…CHICKEN FRIED FRIED FOODS!!

    And remember what George Carlin (rest his soul) said about feminine hygiene sprays – that they should be sold as what they really are “under-leg deodorant”

  12. For when that board meeting gets to be too much…

    So something that is chicken fried doesnot really have any chicken in it? I thought I’d figured out all the way to clog my arteries.

  13. I just noticed that the “summer’s eve” is available as – A 6 PACK???????
    I think that anyone that needs to buy that stuff in BULK really needs to go see her GYN. LIKE NOW!!!!!!

  14. You had me at bush fire. 😉

    In other news, you’re on Facebook?? I’ve had a personal site for a few months now and just started one for my Blogging Personality. Facebook is almost as addictive as chicken-fried bacon. 🙂

  15. Violesky – Why the Scots?

    Woodsy – I remember FDS and Massengill (sp?) and some others. We must have been a lot smellier back then

    Lebowski – I’m not disputing the chicken-fried, fried foods…just wondering how you chicken fry a Big Mac and what happens to it when you do

    Bob – That Homer sure knows how to eat. Remember The Sandwich or Pinchy?

    Nat – Ya I always thought it meant it was fried in chicken fat or something. Little did I know there was a whole world of double batter dipped, breaded and deep fried foods out there. Never in my wildest imagination would I have thought of battering, breading and deep frying steak. Haven’t these animals suffered enough?

    Lebowski (again) Yes a 6-pack AND extra strength Ultra!

    CP – Ya, Bush Fire isn’t a scent every woman can pull off. It’s for the rugged outdoorsy type, I think. I’ll look for you on FB

  16. I never thought that the “deodarant” was crotch spray. i always thought it was regular spray-on deodarant for one’s underarms. they have tons of those in europe and my mom would always use those instead of non-aerosol deodarants. i think the deodarant sprays are for women who prefer to have hair under their arms. solid deodarant would just look icky for that.

  17. Betty – If it says “feminine” deodorant spray in means it’s for your special “feminine” areas. Probably what they had in Europe WAS for your underarms, though because they’re not too big on crotch sprays there.

    Misssy M – God works in mysterious ways indeed.

  18. That does indeed sound like the menu from any chip shop in Scotland, the proud nation that deep fries pizzas. And serves them with chips! And that helps us maintain our position at the head of the heart attack league of the world!

    Thanks for commenting on my recent running post. It might not sound like it but I do in fact enjoy running but only once I am actually doing it (or ideally immediately after I have finished!). I am just annoyed with myself because I know I will feel much better once I am out running again but my backside just refuses to believe that at 6am!

    And yes, the Loth family hangs out in Canada most years – we fly to Halifax, spend some time in Port Williams in the Annapolis Valley and then either dot around the rest of NS, or do a bit of New Brunswick or PEI. We hate to go too long without our Maritimes fix! (Next July: few days in Liverpool, week on the Northumberland shore and then a few days in Port Williams and I CAN’T WAIT!!!)

  19. i had no idea this stuff existed either. apparently i smell nothing like tropical rain!! What am i missing?

    i like bush fire – that’s a good one XUP – had no idea you were a comedian. impressed.

    yummy – cream gravy on bacon. healthy too i bet.

  20. bush fire! BWAHAHAHA you kill me.

    i also just have crotch smelling crotch and am not tempted to have it smell like lavender vanilla febreeze.

    and um.. i think i had a heart attack just looking at that picture of the chicken friend bacon.. just sayin.

  21. The original Summer’s Eve link I sent XUP showed a garden tiller as the graphic, which I thought was humorous. Apparently, by the time it got to XUP, the mistake was corrected, diminishing the humor. I just wanted to make this disclaimer in case you all thought I regularly browsed for feminine products. As far as crotch scents, I could tell you some horror stories – but I’ll save those for the book. Now that I’m no longer an international, jet-setting playboy, I don’t have to worry about that too much. It’s one of the benefits of settling down.

  22. You know, my neighbor actually ate the chicken-fried bacon. She liked it. She’s petite and can eat anything. If I were her size, I would have tried it too.
    I’m also surprised that these sprays still exist. I thought they were something from the “olden” days. I always thought they were gross because my mother told me they for nasty women that didn’t bathe. I hope she’s wrong.

  23. Loth – Deep fried pizza! Gadzooks. I always like the English chip butty, too – slather hunks of bread with butter (or lard), pile on piping hot french fries straight from the fryer, squeeze together so all the nice butter melts all over the chip grease. And – hey I used to live in Halifax until last summer. Must have just missed you. If you ever come all the way to Ottawa let me know.

    raino – what? you didn’t know I was a comedian? I guess I’ll have to sharpen my game.

    Jobthingy – mmmm – vanilla febreeze. Maybe if they came up with tempting flavours like that or Christmas pudding or cinnamon funnel cake or HP aauce or something, we’d get a lot more action!!

    Brad – I’m not getting the humour of the garden tiller as it related to feminine deodorant spray. And I’m sure no one could possibly think any less of you even if you were browsing for feminine deodorant products — especially given your past traumas in this area. I can’t wait for the book.

    Geewits – I’m pretty sure anything with bacon is going to be delicious. I see in California they’re making bacon candy by dipping it in chocolate and stuff. Bacon is making a big come-back. And, I’m not sure why women still buy this Summer’s Eve stuff. I guess someone has made them feel gross and smelly and they think they have to cover up their natural odors.

  24. I got stuck at Summer’s Eve. The thought of periodically spraying my crotch throughout the day with some perfumey aerosol deodorant gives me a deep, dark case of the heeby-jeebies.

  25. Ellie – Really, eh? How do you know when you need another shot? I guess if you go for a pee and there’s a really pungent aroma wafting out of the panties, you’re due?? Or do you go with a buddy and sniff each other to check for freshness?

    Bob – Well, as you know, Bob, there is nothing more vile smelling than a woman, so anything to rid the world of that odor is worth poking a few holes in the ozone.

  26. #1 I don’t know how long it will take for your little women’s brains to understand. As created you are defective.
    The only way you can be acceptable is if you spend, spend, spend, mega dollars on whatever the industry says you should spend on.
    #2 Even though your natural crotch smell is defective and should be changed, I can assure you that the taste of these deodorants is even worse. How I know this is no concern of yours.

  27. that bacon thing? i got sick just looking at it, and i’m a lover of fried things.

    the summers eve thing? is it any wonder women have such a hard time accepting ourselves for who we are without all that lotion and potion shit?

    can i cuss on your blog? i can’t remember if i can or not. i usually try to be respectful 🙂

  28. Friar -Sad, eh? Do they have deodorant sprays for men’s crotches, too?

    DP – Don’t move to Texas is my advice. And, yes you can cuss all you want.

  29. So, wait… I should invent a deodorant spray for men’s crotches, and it should smell like chicken fried bacon!

    See? It all comes full circle.

    I dunno if it would actually taste like bacon, but sooner or later, someone’s bound to find out.

  30. Kimberly – America (especially the south, I think) sure does love their deep fried stuff. Of course, so does England and Scotland and Canada and parts of the Caribbean…

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