things i used to know about sex

I grew up on a farm so there were always a lot of breeding animals around. I also had 3 brothers, a comprehensive family medical encyclopaedia and a healthy curiosity, so I can’t ever remember not knowing the basics of boy/girl parts or the mechanics of copulation and reproduction. But, it wasn’t until 7th grade that I actually started learning things about sex.

Two things happened in grade 7 to move my education forward. First, we had a girl transferred to our school for a few months who was obviously pregnant. As you can imagine, this was the ultimate in high pre-teen drama. She wasn’t the least bit shy about it, either and regaled us, at every opportunity, with the disgusting, yet titillating details of fornication.

The second thing that helped send my birds and bees into a tizzy was that one of the girls in our gang, Oxana, who was fully developed by age 12 started getting molested by her mom’s boyfriend. I know that now[1]. But this was before daytime talk shows and other sources of widespread knowledge about sexual abuse. So, at the time  she just used to tell us jaw-dropping stories about things the mom’s boyfriend would tell her about sex and how he’d try to “tongue kiss” her or try to get her to touch his “thing”.  We just thought she was terribly sophisticated and exciting and grown up, if a bit naughty for doing these things with her mother’s boyfriend.

Between the two of them we learned things like:

  • Married people do it every day even if they don’t want to have babies.
  • Sex hurts women a lot, but they have to do it to get their woman parts ready for squeezing babies out.
  • Men, teenage boys and slutty women actually like doing sex.
  • If you let a guy “tongue kiss” you then you have to have sex with him because otherwise all the stuff in his balls will back up and give him a heart attack.
  • If you haven’t had sex with a member of the opposite sex by the time you’re 16 then you have to become homosexual. (Although we weren’t completely sure what this meant, I remember some of us girls felt relieved that there was an option and that it had to be better than the apparent brutality of heterosexual coupling). 

 [1] I’m sorry, Oxana, that we used to relish these stories that must have been horrible for you in reality. I hope you are well, wherever you are.