Careful what you wish for

The gargoyle has finally arrived!! After my last blog post on the subject, stuff happened.

  1. The astonishing Brad Brown received a voice-mail message from a slow-talking southern woman from the unnamed courier company looking for my telephone number.
  2. The astonishing Brad Brown and I exchanged several emails with updates and important shipping information.
  3. I made two telephone calls to Bohunk, Alabama and chatted to two different slow-talking southern courier company representatives.
    • One seemed very frightened and said he had to look something up and would call me right back and then never did.
    • One seemed very friendly and said she had to look something up and would call me right back and actually did call me right back
  4. The upshot was that we determined the gargoyle was still in Canada somewhere.
  5. I then called some telephone numbers in Canada given to me by the friendly, slow-talking southern courier company representative.
    • According to the tracking number, the gargoyle was indeed still in Canada, but no one knew where. Some hunting around was done and late yesterday afternoon, a fast-talking Canadian courier representative called me to tell me they were ready to deliver my package the next day.
  6. Unfortunately, I was to be at work again during the times they offered to deliver, so we made arrangements to have it delivered to my work.
  7.  When it arrived at my workplace, the package had to be handed around to 3-4 different individuals and then opened and inspected in a very careful, security conscious manner for which the Canadian federal public service is famous.
  8. I had to go hunting down my package though because while security conscious, our shipping and receiving unit adheres very closely to its job title and does only shipping and receiving.  It doesn’t do delivery or notification.  They received it and put it away in a cubby deep in the bowels of S&R.
  9. After some not brief conversations with several stupid-talking S&R yokels I was finally directed to the head yokel.  There was some difficulty because I was asking for a package containing a gargoyle and they only had a package containing what they felt was a dragon.  So, they weren’t sure I was the correct recipient.
  10. Identification was produced and compared to the shipping label. Internet photos of the exact gargoyle along with random photos of dragons were printed off and compared.
  11. I brought the gargoyle home and decided to call him Rowland.
Right away he made a nuisance of himself by getting underfoot as I was trying to cook. There was very nearly a serious gargoyle-foot incident.
Then Rowland began vexing the cat.
I chased him away from the cat dish and all was quiet for a while, until I heard some commotion from the fridge.
There he was, trying to get into the organic beer that some do-gooder had left behind thinking I’d enjoy the purity of 3% alcohol piss water. (This is the worst beer I’ve ever had — and that includes certain brands of cheap American beer!!!)
Anyway, again, I chased the ugly little bastard  new addition to the family away.  Later, I found him in the bedroom.
He claimed he wasn’t really dressing up in my stuff.  He said, he was just cold, not being used to these frigid Canadian temperatures. 
The good news, though is that the youngest member of the clan seems to have taken a shine to him.  The two of them played fun peek-a-boo games all evening.
So, now he’s found a spot to rest: atop the not-so-grand piano in the daughter’s room.
He says, “Hi Brad Brown! I told you I’d make it out of Bohunk one day!! Say hi to the cats. Nyah-ha-ha!”
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16 responses to “Careful what you wish for

  1. I offer this as proof that Canadians and Americans can get along. I see no need for putting up a fence between our two countries. Also, XUP informs me that the gargoyle is a candle holder as well; I always wondered what that hole was for.

  2. Heehee! This makes me want to box myself up and ship myself to your house so I can mess with your things and wear your clothes! 😉

  3. Love the name! Rowland has good taste indeed and will be a great addition to your family! Who knows, maybe he’ll spook the cat who will then take shelter in your arms lol

  4. Rowland! Love the name…

    An he’s obviously no dragon. Can’t these yahoos tell the difference between a gargoyle and a dragon?

  5. Bandobras – Ya, well, he’d better start earning his keep after all the trouble he’s caused so far, that’s all I can say.

    Becky – no, why?

    Brad Brown – Is someone putting up a fence? How high is it going to be? Will we be able to climb over it? That would be a pretty big fence and kind of a waste of money. Who’s paying for this fence? Will it need to be painted on a regular basis? Someone should put a stop to this fence.

    Debra – Well, come on over. Just don’t get under my feet while I’m cooking is all.

    UA – Ya, my parents tell me they were going to call me Rowland if I’d been a boy. Dodged a pretty big freakin’ bullet there, eh?

    Jazz – I don’t think shipping & receiving have very much to do these days. We almost never get hard copy mail and I think this may have been the first package they’ve ever had to deal with. So, they just wanted to make the moment last as long as possible. That’s what I think, anyway.

  6. Glad to see you’ve occasionally got a few spare moments to yourself to put together a bit of fun. Very nice pictorial.

    However, I think you should notify “The Astonishing Brad Brown” that you need a second one – a GarGirl, perhaps – to keep Rowland from getting into so much trouble around the house.

  7. Woodsy – Touché !!

    JB – I think the Astonishing Brad Brown and I have totally exhausted our international relations just getting one Gar-creature across the border. The idea of another attempt is not only daunting, but potentially dangerous as it may alert homeland security when the shipping of mysterious packages between Bohunk and Ottawa becomes more than a one-off.

  8. @XUP – I think they discontinued the wall across the Canadian border once they realized that Celine Dion was still in our country. If you get a second gargoyle, name him René Angélil.

    @Remainder of studio audience – I know you’ve all been wondering, and yes, it’s true. I found the fourth gargoyle [you need four to guard a room] several weeks back, and I’ll be giving him away. But first, I have to give away Britney Spears…

  9. Becky – thanks for clearing that up. Somehow, I don’t think I’ll be in a rush to pick that up.

    Jo – poor you!

    Feclicia – thanks

    Violetsky – What an excellent idea! I got ripped off last time and only got the 6 month dealy — now I’ll get a whole year.

    Brad – No, I think we’d definitely put up a wall with Celine on the other side.