Small Drama in the Park

Cast of Characters

Young Boy:  approximately 6 or 7 years of age. Dressed in an immaculate pair of fawn shorts, white polo shirt, brown sandals and short white socks. He’s of average height, on the thin side with light brown hair, cut short

Father:  Mid to late 30’s. Dressed in dirty, washed-out red t-shirt, cut-offs, flip-flops and a baseball cap. He sports a significant beer belly and hair that’s unkempt and too long. He needs a shave.

Scene: Beachside park.  Noon. Lovely summer day. Man and boy are sitting on the grass near the water. They are watching as structures are being set up for a weekend event – tents are being hoisted, porta-potties trucked in, seating assembled.

 The boy suddenly springs up and starts running toward a bank of porta-potties.

 Father: (yelling) HEY! Where are you going?

 Boy: To pee.

 Father: There’s a tree right here (pointing to tree in front of him)

 Boy: But there’s a washroom right here, too. (pointing to bank of potties)

 Father: (shakes his head in exasperation and mumbles something unintelligible as he scratches his rear)

Several minutes elapse. Young boy re-appears from one of the porta-potties and peers around anxiously.

Father: (spotting son peering). What’re you doing now?

Boy:  Looking for the handwashing place.

Father: There is no handwashing place. Get back here, we’re going home in a minute.

 Boy: But I need to wash my hands and there’s always a handwashing place. (He’s right and there are a bank of handsantizing stations further along the path that haven’t been set up yet.)

 Father: (really angry all of a sudden). GET BACK HERE NOW! We’re leaving!!

 Boy: (still anxiously peering around). But, Dad, I really need to wash my hands! (then adds in a loud whisper) I touched my willy!

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16 responses to “Small Drama in the Park

  1. oh my, there are so many things wrong with this scenario! i’m all for peeing behind a tree, but i’m also all for respecting a kid if they want privacy!
    i’m all for handwashing, and why would you get mad at a kid for wanting to wash their hands? especially in the cult of germophobia that we live in now.
    kind of sad that he was so worried about touching his willy.

  2. Meanie -Yes, there is a great opportunity here for an exercise in deconstruction. My thoughts are that his mum has custody and is being extra-fastidious with him so he doesn’t turn out like his slob of a dad. I was also concerned that he was more worried about the germs off his willy than he was about the germs off the porta-potty that he touched before touching his willy.

  3. Dad = idiot.

    But really, “I have to wash my hands, I touched my willie” OMG that is so hilarious… I think the portapotty was much worse…

    And I just ready your comment.

    Not an original thoght in my head obviously.

  4. Jazz- Ya, I’d be much, much more worried about my kid touching his willy after touching the porta-potty than whatever he might touch after the willy.

    David – The whole episode stayed in my mind all afternoon. It was kind of a Felix/Oscar thing and I do think the dad is important in that boy’s life if only to mitigate some of his extreme fastidiousness. I mean, really … a spotlessly clean white polo shirt??? And a boy shouldn’t be that freaked out about willy germs.

    Rain – there’s no link back on your comment. What’s your blog? I’d love to visit.

    Kimberly – Well, they left, so I don’t know what happened after that. Dad seemed very distracted.

  5. I love to people watch and always wonder about the little snippets of conversation I hear. Does it closely represent the everyday life of these people? Or am I just witnessing some out-of-the-ordinary event? I guess we never know…which is most of the appeal, I guess.

    (I’m feeling much better tonight. I think the whole headache/earache thing was all sinus related. Ugh! Thanks for stopping by and for your nice comments!)

  6. Debra – I’m so glad you’re feeling better. Have you decided where you’re going for your vacation yet?

    I like to spend my lunch hours at this beach when I can. There’s always so much interesting stuff going on. I’ve watched an older gentleman in a very small swim suit every day sitting in the sun turning from a rosy pink in the spring to almost black. I wonder a lot about him.

  7. Now there’s a little kid who, in the great scheme of things, got matched up with the wrong parent. I’ve seen that happen before.

    There is a little boy of my acquaintance who keeps saying he wishes he had gotten a different mother. He’s wise beyond his years, and he’s also right.

    However, a little boy of that age should not be so fastidious. There’s obviously something wrong there too. The scenario tells a much better back story, doesn’t it?

  8. OTC- Women and willy-control…where will it end?

    Josie – Who knows what the real story is? One of my brothers was equally fastidious when he was a kid, for no apparant reason — no obsessive parenting, no traumatic germ incidents as an infant — just a quirk he had as a kid. He grew up to be a more or less regular guy. (Well, he’s kind of a David Suzuki groupie, but other than that, he’s normal(ish))

  9. I hope the kid overcomes this silly fear of touching himself. Otherwise, there will be a very frustrated individual entering society when he’s older!

    I remember seeing this man giving shit to his son who had caught a ball at a baseball game and he had very nicely given it to another little boy who was also trying to catch the ball. The father went ballistic. The poor boy, probably 6-7 yrs old, was crying his eyes out. I could have smacked that man. Some people do not deserve to be parents.

  10. UA – On the other hand, there’s nothing wrong with teaching your kids to wash their hands after using the toilet.

  11. xup ~ no problem with that, in fact it’s great that he feels he must wash his hands but to make a child anxious to wash his hands because he touched himself is troubling. There lies the difference, based on the situation you witnessed.