Qs & As: The News

Sometimes I yell at the people interviewed on the TeeVee nooze.  Because they ask the darndest questions. They’re so puzzled and confused about whatever tragic, catastrophic disaster they’re being interviewed about. They need answers.

I don’t mind offering some.

 For instance, last night there was the lady in Toronto who couldn’t understand how the SPCA could, without her knowledge and approval, take her 16-year-old husky dog away and euthanized it. She was working real hard to squeeze out some tears for her beloved “Rocky” because he’d meant a lot to her over the years.

 Of course, I don’t know the entire story and maybe the SPCA was a bit overzealous, but the neighbour who called the SPCA and the SPCA itself say the dog had been left tied up in the blazing sun in the backyard without water and had passed out. Aside from dehydration, Rocky also had advanced dental disease and a bunch of other problems and the SPCA felt he needed to be put out of his misery.

So, I said to Rocky’s owner: “Really? You’re going to complain on television that they hauled your half-dead dog out of your sweltering backyard where you’d left him to die of thirst? Bitch?”

Then I was treated to some dramatic footage of the flooded cottages on Lake Winnipeg and the cottage owners demanding compensation from the government. I had to agree with those poor cottage owners. I know if I’d bought a cottage on FLOOD PLAIN next to a big lake, I’d want someone to pay me to make up for that mistake, too. Except that probably I wouldn’t buy property on a FLOOD PLAIN because I would suspect that I might be in for some FLOODING somewhere down the road.

And speaking of the clueless… The people in Kanata who were interviewed about the recent bear sightings in the suburb really made me laugh. “Where are these bears coming from?” they asked angrily. “Why isn’t anyone doing anything about it?”

 I replied, “You’re in a relatively new suburb, 14 miles outside the city and you’re surrounded by wilderness. Where do you think the bears are coming from? Maybe the bears are asking — “where all the people are coming from?”

 Damn those wild animals anyway. Can’t they see we need to build more McMansions and big box stores? Why can’t they just pack their bags and move away when they see the developers coming? Sheesh.

Finally, I was agog at the story about the church in Gloucester who gave $11,000 to the local Pioneer Gas station and told them to give away free gas until it ran out.

“This is real charity,” the people exclaimed. “Why can’t more people do stuff like this?”

 “That IS mighty kris-chun of them yup, yup” said I. “Because, I reckon, in these tough times, the one thing the poor really, really need is free fuel for their SUVs.”

CBC had some good footage of people idling their vehicles in lines while they waited for their free gas. They all looked positively gleeful.

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22 responses to “Qs & As: The News

  1. I’m surprised Rocky’s owner didn’t get charged for abusing her dog. As for the Lake Winnipeg/Kanata folks who bought or built houses ‘close to nature and the great outdoors’… well, folks, you got nature in spades! Reminds me the Einsteins who buy houses near an airport then complain about the noise. And I expect the ‘free gasoline’ got used up REAL fast once people started lining up in their trucks.

    Once again, thanks for the wonderful roundup of Idiots on Parade! You’re doing a tremendous service.

  2. Don’t forget the McMansion owners around your old home town who after moving out to the countryside tried to get the fruit farmers to turn off the bird bangers cause it interfered with their afternoon naps. In one of the few times in recent memory the judge actually threw the complaint out explaining that the farmers had been using the bangers for a few decades to keep the birds from eating the entire crop and that it was the people who had moved out to the noise not the other way around.

  3. Allison – Welcome to the blog and I’m sorry about your neck…a little tiger balm should clear that right up.

    KS – There’s some dispute about the actual state of the dog. She claims he was perfectly healthy and has a vet backing her up. Does the SPCA generally sneak into people’s yards and pick up dogs at random and snuff them?

    Dave – People are goofy. There are so many new subdivisions around here that the wildlife is running around all over the place. The first response is to kill it, of course..because wildlife is dangerous and could eat our children.

  4. 11000 would have bought a whole lot of bus passes for needy people.

    I’ve been ranting for days about people who buy weekend houses – aka FARMS and then complain about the smell and sound and messiness that is farming. 100 freaking acres of woodlot and arable land. Damned huge suburban lot. I want farmland declared a natual resource and farmers given prospector rights to movelawn, in andfarm on that land – golf course, mcmansion weekend “home”.

  5. I can’t help but be awed by the stupidity of humanity.

    Really, it’s surprising our specie has survived this long.

  6. If we watched the nooze together, there’d be a whole lotta shouting. I was saying the same thing to the dog lady. That poor dog has probably been tied up outside his whole life and when she’s not there, I bet he howls and the neighbours have likely complained for 15 years too. Poor dog. And yeah, flood plains – they’re called that for a reason.

  7. Another favorite is the dog owner after a recently biting: “my dog hasn’t bit anyone before”. So I guess the victim is really the one we should be looking at…

  8. “I replied, “You’re in a relatively new suburb, 14 miles outside the city and you’re surrounded by wilderness. Where do you think the bears are coming from? Maybe the bears are asking – ”where all the people are coming from?””

    LOL! Probably.

    Poor bears and other wildlife! We’re quite the pests! Reminds me of when coyotes were considered a big “problem” awhile back and hillbillies were foaming at the mouth to cull them. If people just used common sense and took safety precautions (and no I don’t mean firearms) then they should be fine.

  9. Mudmama – Ya, they had a brief statement from the vet on CBC as well. It’s hard to know what to think. The vet is not present to know what the morning routine of the dog is. However, seeing as how the dog made it to 16, she does have a point that he must have been receiving good care. On the other hand, I don’t understand why they would leave an old dog tied up out in the back yard all day. The whole thing is bizarre.

    Jazz – Dumb luck?

    Julia – One of the things I look for when choosing a place to live is the possibility of natural disasters. So, I’m not moving into a trailer park in Florida or a little farm house in Kansas or a tent under a volcano.

    Maurice – If you’re talking about the Home Depot dog, I was kind of on the dog’s side on that one, too.

    Pauline – Coyotes are still considered a problem and they did cull tons of them. It’s like having a bunch of thugs invade your home and then kill you because you have the nerve to still be there.

  10. I don’t watch TV (except online) but if I did, I’d need to have an inset like the sign language person on the House of Commons channel, except instead of sign language it’s you yelling at them. Since I read papers, often in a public place, I write corrections and criticisms on them before returning them to the communal pile.

    One of these incidents reminds me of something that had happened at the glebe garage sale this year: my bike was loaded with lots of stuff so when I parked it on the street to check out a sale, it was precariously balanced. This worked fine ALL DAY until a couple let one of their kids ring one of my bells without my permission. I called to them (forcefully but not yelling) to not touch my bike because could fall over and hurt their kid.

    They sassed back at me with “well you shouldn’t put it in the middle of the street because it could fall on a child!” The garage sale owner echoed this sentiment, so I just huffed off since I was too tired to deal it. But what I WANTED to say was “only if their idiot parents let their kid touch other people’s property without permission.”

    – RG>

  11. Yeah…it’s kind of hard to feel sorry for the people who are flooded out in Manitoba.

    The river flooded this year. Like it did last year. Like it did the previous 200 years before that. WHAT did you expect?…DUH!!!

    Same way I don’t feel sorry for the people who build those ocean-front houses on stilts, on a temporary sand-bar in the middle of hurricane alley.

    Then they’re upset when their homes are blown away.

  12. Grouchy – Are you also the guy who writes corrections and criticisms in library books? Because I really hate that guy.

    Friar – It seems like people think if they’re paying for a property it’s up to the government to control the weather so that their property will continue to happily increase in value.

    Julie – TV news is the worst because they don’t give you very many details of the story — just some highlights and soundbites…so almost everything ends up sounding absurd.

  13. Re the ‘bears’ thing. Yes, we get it all the time around here. “Why are bears hanging around the new Costco?” “Because last year it was their home forest.”

  14. i know. it’s september and i’m commenting on a post written in june. that’s part of the wonder of the internet. it’s timeless that way. some call it ‘nostalgia’, like it’s a bad thing. but i prefer ‘timeless’. still can’t tell the future, tho. for that i’d need a souped-up delorean.

    waterless pets, building on the floodplain and expecting a dry basement, building in the wilds and expecting the safety and comfort of the burbs, charitable gasoline.. sometimes i agree with jazz: ‘it’s surprising our species has survived this long.’

    but sometimes i know we’re capable of much more. these are just outliers, possible candidates for the darwin awards (except they lived). then i agree with annie lennox, who, in the face of it all, remains ‘one of the lunatic idealists … who passionately endorse the notion of a better, safer, kinder world.’ (http://www.resurgence.org/magazine/article240-WERE-IN-THIS-TOGETHER.html)

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