Steve & the Sweater Vest

I thought Mr. Rogers was dead, but I guess he’s running for Prime Minister of Canada. Yes! I saw him on TV in his warm, fuzzy sweater vest, in a big, comfy chair saying he’s sometimes mad, sometimes glad, sometimes sad because his boy is growing up and likes to spend time with his friends instead of his dad.

What? That was Stephen Harper? (For our American friends, just substitute “George W. Bush” anywhere you see the words “Stephen Harper” in this post and you’ll get the gist).

I saw stretched lips; teeth revealed. I mistook this for a smile.

His hands were flying all over the place helplessly like he’s trying to paddle his way out of the sweater vest or even right out of the ad. This has got to be a very uncomfortable for him; acting like he cares about stuff.

He hints at hidden pianistic skills. And then, lo he’s photographed glaring sternly at giant piano.

 

He wants us to believe he’s just like a real boy and can do stuff like holding kittens:

 

(Too. Tight)

Or propping up babies (non-caucasian…2 for 1) on his warm, fuzzy arms:

 

He even attempted what is commonly referred to as humour by humans.

The media, who is surprisingly now allowed to speak to and about him, asked him hard-hitting questions like: If you were a vegetable, what kind of vegetable would you be?

He said: “I would choose, if I had to, instead to be a fruit; just what I am – sweet and colourful.”

Now he’s a fruit. I can’t wait for the lurid confession aimed to garner the “colourful” Canadians’ votes.

I guess he thinks Canadians must be a nation of inbred yokels to fall for this robotic imitation of a kindler, gentler Ubersturmbandsfuhrer.

Next day he was back to his old self as he petulantly refused to go to the TV debate if they let Green Party Leader, Elizabeth May join in. He said something like he didn’t think it would be “fair” to have someone on the panel who could show him up.

(NPD Leader, Jack Layton lost his last two supporters by joining in this shameful boycott threat.)

Fail.

Harper continues to show himself up as the  childish bully he is with his stupid anti-Dion ads. (that’s Stéphane Dion, Leader of the Liberals not Celine Dion, Canadian Chanteuse, for those of you not from here). The one with the puffin pooping on a befuddled looking Dion really came back to smack him in the face.

And that’s all I’m going to ever say about the 2008 federal election fiasco.